I noticed something the other day.
After my last post, this —
— appeared after the title of my Slamonline column.
Which makes this the 100th Farmer Jones joint.
Anyway, I was going to celebrate by blessing you all with a list of Farmer Jones’ 100 Greatest Columns™, but then I realized that would be arrogant of me. I am feeling a bit cocky at the moment — I got my Joe Paterno, cane-swingin’, Big Ten championship swagger back — but I don’t want to overdo it.
Also, I find that rankings tend to upset people.
Then I thought I could run a contest, in which readers pick their favorite Farmer Jones columns and post a 3,000-word comment explaining why, among all my great columns, that particular column is the greatest. And I think you guys should do that. The prize is an hour or so of your life you’ll never get back — and everyone who plays wins!
But then I saw this, which is basically just a glowing column about LeBron James that I did not write. You should read it.
And then I realized: Gratuitous Penn State reference? Unsolicited LeBron jock-riding? A few examples of my typically crowd-pleasing humor? Yes — I have just written the ultimate Farmer Jones column. If, a thousand years from now, aliens descend on our withered planet and search for the essence of what once made our civilization great, we can only hope they find this link.
So, yeah, 100. I’m Wilt, bitches!
Here’s hoping that, someday, these guys catch up.