Jake Appleman

My online homies: apologies for my invisible coverage of this series. Thankfully, the postseason is just getting started and Lang, Sam and the rest have provided tons of content. You’ll be hearing from me with greater regularity starting…NOW. As such, I figured the best way to recap a matchup of overall invisible competitiveness would be to recap how my coverage became invisible.

Game 1: Excuse (Spent the Afternoon Giving Rival Baseball Fans An Ear Exam): Missed the instant-classic because I was in Philadelphia being a raucous Mets fan (at least according to the New York Times and MetsBlog).

Extra rambling: You might, in fact, one day find yourself at Shea Stadium staring at the back of a T-shirt that implies I intimately know a relative of a well known former Mets pitcher. Just to clarify: for multiple legitimate reasons, nothing happened, but it’s a funny story. Another clarifying point: though I wore a shirt that says “Philly sucks”, I very much like Philadelphia; I’d even go as far to say it’s an underrated town…now you could be sitting there saying, “Jake, that’s ridiculous–you went to a baseball game on day 1 of the NBA playoffs. To which I’d respond a) I committed to it back in February and still almost backed out b) it’s a long second season and c) I only have one local team that I exclusively support unconditionally without media bias (Nets) or general indifference (Jets) running interference. 20+ orange and blue compatriots taking a bus to tailgate on an 83 degree day? Exactly. I could have written a short book about the experience).

Game 2 Excuse (Rod Benson Ate My Homework): I didn’t end up giving my roommate enough leeway time with our game 2 DVR’ing. So that sucked. Considered doing a True-Hoopian or Ball-Truthian post that reflected what the internets were saying, but I’m neither a shark nor a biter, so like a Beatle walking past Micky D’s, I let it be. Also: I trust that those who read Slamonline but occasionally feel the need for something else peep what Skeets and Henry do on the regular. (Bonus inside post message to Yahoo’s Kelly Dwyer: If you ever have back problems, get at me. My best friend is a rising chiropractor. We call him Burt Backcrack.)

Game 3 Excuse (Boddingtons and Bitches*): Game 3 took place this Friday. We had it on in the background, but it sucked. By *it*, I mean the “The Suns” and “the game itself”. The Spurs were indeed clinical in breaking down their “rivals” (it’s a one way street, at the intersection of “letdown” and “really?”). Tony Parker went for 41, 12 and 3 turnovers; this Vincent Thomas post spontaneously combusted. (Related, I was talking to an acquaintance on Saturday night whose wife grew up with TP and Thierry Henry. What I could tell you about her is infinitely more interesting that what went down Friday night in Phoenix. By the way, you know, like, the one time of year that a Cactus needs water? Didn’t happen.

Game 4 Excuse (You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, anyway–so how about some mediocre coverage! I’ll haphazardly hand this one in! FREE CLINIC! MIX TAPE STYLES! (no) CLUE!):

Raja Bell hit a few threes before I started dozing off on my couch. The Suns lived to see another day. America, where we fail horribly and then masochistically prolong our impending failure!

The Suns were up 28 heading into the fourth quarter. Boris Diaw (20-10-8) was two assists shy of a triple double. Shaq got his double double on and the Suns held the Spurs to 39% from the floor. It’s really tempting not to completely write this game off as mere bump in the road for the Spurs. The excitement junkie prays that Phoenix finds their form. Bruce Bowen finished with a -35 plus/minus, which is as awful as it gets. Boris Diaw and Shaq gave Steve Nash some help containing Parker’s speed.

EXCUSE SUMMATION: Coverage is a funny bird. Like perspective, when you have it you don’t always appreciate its simple joys because you’re so busy working for it. When you don’t have it, you watch a movie like Sicko and realize that you can live just as miserably without it.

The coverage having turned out this way (Game 5 thus far withstanding), I guess it’s appropriate that I’ve covered the series this way. I didn’t get an “A” in journalism in Spain for nothing.

The series is mime. Game 5 tonight. I plan to watch it…
*=Colloquialism