By Sam Rubenstein

Today’s first NBA preview is going to be… you’ll see. It might shock and surprise you, perhaps even frighten you. Don’t be scared. Also I’d like to remind those of you who were assigned an Eastern Conference team to feel free and send them in. The Western Conference previews are coming in more consistently. Step it up East! Why must you always lag behind? Lang revealed that he’s in Hawaii, and he’s promising to write The Links every day. Basketball season is officially here.

I did not get to watch Heroes last night. You spoil, you die. I was watching a few sporting events, namely the Yanks season ender and the Cowboys near-glorious meltdown turned miraculous win. The latter really sucked. I thought it was funny how the signature franchises in two of the three major American sports, the most iconic “American” teams were right there, on Columbus day, losing in indignant fashion to teams loosely affiliated with Native Americans. I assume Buffalo the city got its name because of the bison they used to hunt in the olden days, but maybe I’m wrong. The team name “Indians” is just plain old stereotyping slang. But Cleveland got its revenge, and Tony Romo went from having the worst first half, like evurrrr, to playing hero boy along with a kicker named Folk. So the big winners last night were…

wait for it…

Cowboys and Indians.

My condolences to SLAM’s old photo editor Jenny Aborn, a huge Bills fan who was probably in tears last night. I hate Tony Romo so much. He can play ball. He is skilled at the quarterback position.

As far as the Yanks go, this season I learned to stop being such a Yankee hater. So it’s not quite the same level of relishing the joy in other people’s suffering. More condolences, this time for all of the Yankee fans around the office, the city, and most importantly to my friend Rob who is not taking it well. But I am happy that the man I call Black Sabbathia is heading to the ALCS. In somewhat related news, my extended summer concert series continues, and I’m going to see a band tonight in Williamsburg (don’t be jealous Ryan/Stephen) that I consider to be the closest thing there is to a modern day Black Sabbath. High on Fire. Learn the name. Live it.

Alright, get ready for that first preview. Oh boy…