by Lang Whitaker

At some point a few years ago, during an interminable story meeting, someone went on the website of the ABA, the basketball minor League. On their site they have a section for press releases, which is updated numerous times daily with all kinds of peculiar information. I have no idea who writes all these press releases, but we’d waste a lot of time just reading the press releases aloud and then discussing them for thirty minutes.

Honestly, the ABA is a very confusing league. There are dozens of teams, upwards of 50, with constantly changing schedules and rosters and nicknames. And yet the league soldiers on. Which is why we started that little section in the magazine called “Breaking News From The ABA,” where we run, verbatim, our favorite ABA press releases of the last few weeks. I put those together at the last minute, as the issue is going to press, and we never have room to run more than one or two per issue.

So from here on out on Mondays we’ll use SLAMonline for a weekly bonus Breaking News From the ABA update. Any typos or nonsensical information is theirs, not ours…

>>>UPDATE: For whatever it’s worth, our previous post on here about the ABA included a link to an article about John Salley taking over as ABA commissioner. However, there’s no mention of this on the ABA website and Salley is not listed in the ABA’s staff. Is something strange going on? Anyway, back to the Breaking News…<<< • DIAMONDZ AND MODEL SEARCH Richmond, VA -- The Richmond Ballerz basketball team is holding auditions for members of its official dance team and models for the 2007 Ballerz Calendar. The Look for Diamondz Dance Team will be comprised of diverse and talented young women to perform during home games and participate in Ballerz community service events in the Richmond metro area. Dance team members will receive compensation for games. The auditions and photo shoot will be held October 19th at 6 pm at the U-Turn Sports Performance Academy located at 2102 Maywill Street off Staples Mill Road in Richmond. U-Turn Sports Performance Academy is formerly the old Circuit City Headquarters building. To audition, women must be at least 18 years old with a full or part-time job or a student or live at home with parent(s). Experience in modeling, dance or cheerleading a plus. You must wear dance apparel to audition. The team is also looking for models for its annual Richmond Ballerz calendar.

• ANOTHER NFL QUARTERBACK JOINS ABA OWNERSHIP RANKS
Hollywood, CA — The Hollywood Fame announced that NFL Baltimore Ravens quarterback Kyle Boller joins Pittsburgh Steelers’ quarterback Charlie Batch as owners of an ABA professional basketball team.
Boller, a first round draft pick in 2003 by the Ravens, the second quarterback selected by behind Cincinnati’s Carson Palmer, was a three year starter for the Ravens after a great career as a three year starter and MVP for the University of California.

“I’m looking forward to suiting up as the Fame’s 13th Man after the season and perhaps meeting Charlie on the court. We’re looking to do some exciting things with the Fame with lots of celebrities and entertainment. I understand that teams all over the country have asked to play us – and I suppose we’ll be accommodating with some surprise visits.”

Aside from a great career at Cal, Boller impressed NFL scouts when he threw a football from one knee 65 yards through the uprights. According to AJ Discala, Fame co-owner, “If Kyle can do that with a football, surely he can hit a three from 20 feet.”

• STRONG ISLAND SOUND SIGNS TOMMIE ‘GUNZZ’ EDDIE
Patchogue, NY — Long Island’s Strong Island Sound announced the signing of Boys and Girls High School (Brooklyn) standout Tommie “Gunzz” Eddie to a contract for the 2006-2007 season. Terms of the contract are undisclosed.
At 6-7 and 250 pounds, Eddie adds versatility to the sound roster with his ability to play shooting guard, small forward and power forward. At times, he will even fill in at center. An excellent outside shooter with strong ball-handling skills, Eddie joins the Sound after playing at the University of Mississippi and Coffeyville Community College (Kansas). Eddie spent the 2005-2006 season playing overseas.

• THE WORDS OF A YOUTH
Buffalo, NY — The Buffalo Silverbacks recently received feedback from HG Lewis Campus school youth regarding a recent Creditors Interchange “Do Your Best, Never Quit” seminar.
This youth wrote:
“From this experience I learned a lot of things. I learned important things that can help me with my future. I learned to work hard and never quit. It doesn’t matter what I go through, hard or easy, rain or hail, I never quit…This is some of the motivation that this experience game me.”