Once again, it’s time for SLAMonline’s hottest weekly feature, wherein Lang and Sam try to guess what this week’s cover of Entertainment Weekly will be…

AIM IM with Sam Rubenstein and Lang Whitaker.
Lang Whitaker: hey

Sam Rubenstein: sorry I was away from my computer.

Sam Rubenstein: Buying charity candy from the accouting dep’t!

Sam Rubenstein: Peanut butter cups

Lang Whitaker: Don’t really know how to reply to that

Lang Whitaker: Congrats, I guess

Sam Rubenstein: thanks?

Lang Whitaker: Anyway, time for EW Guessed It.

Sam Rubenstein: Yes. And if this week is not “The Departed” then I don’t know what to say.

Lang Whitaker: Agreed. Perhaps the biggest movie of the year with three bona fide superstars (Damon, DiCaprio, Nicholson). A no-brainer, really.

Sam Rubenstein: And Mark Wahlberg and Scorcese directed.

Lang Whitaker: Yes. But as I said earlier, it’s not like The Departed NEEDS this cover or anything

Sam Rubenstein: Right, but they also had about 5 Star Wars covers around the time Sith came out.

Lang Whitaker: As they should. When big movies come out you have to put them on the cover. It’s a celebration or an acknowledgement as much as anything. Like when we put MJ on the cover in 2001 when he came back.

Sam Rubenstein: Yes. Or every year after the Finals. If there wasn’t a Wade cover after last year’s Finals it would have made no sense.

Lang Whitaker: Exactly.

Lang Whitaker: So should I look?

Sam Rubenstein: well i thought you said you had a sleeper guess?

Lang Whitaker: Kind of, but let’s see what the cover is and then I’ll get into it.

Sam Rubenstein: O.K. I’m going with “The Departed” and nothing else is acceptable.

Lang Whitaker: Me too…here I go…

Lang Whitaker: I knew it: The Photo Issue starring Kirsten Dunst!

Sam Rubenstein: what

Lang Whitaker: I saw a picture somewhere the other day and the caption was about it being EW’s photo issue.

Lang Whitaker: Couldn’t EW have save that for a week when nothing was coming out?

Sam Rubenstein: I remember last year’s photo issue had Cameron Diaz.

Sam Rubenstein: But still this is ridiculous.

Lang Whitaker: Yep. I bet a Nicholson/Damon/DiCaprio cover would EASILY sell as much as a photo issue

Sam Rubenstein: And this is the worst week to have a photo issue cause Rolling Stone is FERGILICIOUS!!!

Lang Whitaker: Um, yeah.

Lang Whitaker: I think this speaks volumes about the state of EW. It’s a rudderless ship these days.

Sam Rubenstein: Yeah, I do not understand. Maybe EW Guessed it is jinxing them.

Sam Rubenstein: Cause we used to get these right before we started keeping track.

Sam Rubenstein: Which can never be proven.

Lang Whitaker: Yeah. But these recent EW covers can be proven: they suck.

Sam Rubenstein: The last cover I respect is Snakes On A Plane, and that turned out to be wildly overhyped.

Sam Rubenstein: (though I haven’t seen it yet and maybe it’s great)

Lang Whitaker: If it’s on EW’s cover, probably not.

Lang Whitaker: I’m very disenfranchised right now.

Sam Rubenstein: This is why I cancelled my subscription. Though it keeps coming until January.

Lang Whitaker: You think anyone at EW reads this?

Sam Rubenstein: I don’t check the EW blog, cause that might tip-off what the cover is.

Sam Rubenstein: Maybe they do.

Sam Rubenstein: Dalton Ross used to write for SLAM, so maybe he checks in.

Lang Whitaker: Holler at your boys, EW. Let’s get this thing worked out.

Sam Rubenstein: And we’re not exactly asking them to take risks.

Lang Whitaker: Nope. I hate photos.

Sam Rubenstein: I loved Kirstin Dunst in the Virgin Suicides, but she’s fallen far.

Lang Whitaker: Fitting, then, that she’s on EW.