by Lang Whitaker

Continuing in my longtime unofficial role as a spokeman for Drew Gooden, I contacted him last night about this new look of his. Oh, you know the look. The one pictured.

First of all, I had to admit to Drew that he has outdone himself with this new look. (His response to that: “LOL!”)

Drew’s working with limited real estate, after all, considering his head is basically out of play. (And he had to shave the head — no choice there. There’s a reason his nickname used to be “Recede Wallace.” Oops, Drew’s gonna kill me for putting that out there.)

Anyway, with no hair on his head, all he can do is have fun with the facial hair. Which explains last year’s Beard Challenge with DeShawn Stevenson.

Now that DeShawn has vowed to calm down, however, this leaves Drew a man on an island, albeit an island that appears to have extensive and precise facial grooming products available. And with those tools, this is what Drew has cultivated.

His name for it?

“The Johnny,” Drew emailed.

The Johnny?

“The Johnny. (Like Johnny Depp — Pirates of the Carribbean).”

To me, it looks more like Davy Jones from the same movie series than Capt. Jack Sparrow, but perhaps this is what Drew is trying to teach us: It’s not about at-large perception, it’s about each of us finding our own form of beauty in that which we take in.

Now you know. You may return to your life informed and renewed. That is all.