New LA Clippers team owner Steve Ballmer is definitely not Donald Sterling. Ballmer turned a fan rally Monday into one of his infamous speeches for Microsoft employees.

Ballmer promised Clippers fans the world, and hilariously made his players a tad uncomfortable as he screamed and ranted for more than 10 minutes. Per the LA Times:

“She and me and the NBA all agreed she can come to games as part of the purchase consideration and that’s quite reasonable,” said Ballmer, whose $2-billion acquisition of the Clippers from Donald and Shelly Sterling closed last week. “Donald was banned, not Shelly. But I own the team, I’ll make the decisions about where we take the team. They’re the former owner; I’m the new owner.”

 

Told that some people lump Shelly in with her estranged husband because she was a party to his shenanigans for more than three decades — including one alleged incident in which she posed as a housing inspector in an attempt to oust minority tenants — Ballmer said he was only “looking forward.” [...] “We’ve gone through a period of lemons; I’m in the lemonade business and I’m excited about the future,” Ballmer said. “The league is fine with their decisions, I took that as my guide and we’re driving forward under new ownership — thankfully under the same basketball leadership but under new ownership.”

 

“I’m a confident guy that we have a great product, I’m a confident guy that we’re going to have a lot of viewership and fanship,” Ballmer continued, and here came that pump-up-the-volume cadence again, “and I’m confident in my ability AS A SALESMAN TO GET PEOPLE FIRED UP!”