by Marcel Mutoni

Harvey Pollack, the legendary Sixers’ statistician, recently celebrated his 87th birthday. His longtime friend Bill Walton marked the occasion by leaving him precisely what you’d expect a Bill Walton voicemail to sound like.

The Philly Inquirer got their hands on the loopy, rambling audio and have transcribed it for our reading pleasure:

Happy birthday, happy birthday. Harvey, this Bill Walton just in case you thought it might have been Neil Young or Tony Bennett or Barry Manilow or someone else. But I just wanted to call and wish you the happiest of birthdays and just say thanks for everything, Harvey. You make our lives so wonderful, so full, so complete. And you are such an intergalactic treasure. I cannot believe it’s gone so fast – 87 years young. Oh. My. Gosh. You have given your life to make everybody else’s better, Harvey, and we just wanted to say thank you on this most special day for you. And we hope that you have just many, many, many, many more birthdays. Happy birthday, happy birthday. Thanks for not only making a difference, Harvey, thanks for making the difference … in all of our lives. Where on earth would we be without Harvey Pollack? Happy birthday to you.

“You’re the absolute greatest. We could never thank you enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Keep it going forever, Harvey. You are our true inspiration. You are our beacon of hope. You are our moral compass and guiding light. Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to you. Thanks Harvey. Bill Walton here just in case you thought it might have been somebody who can really sing. OK. You take care. We love you, Harvey. Thanks again. Bye.”

I wish Bill could call me for my birthday.

You can listen to the madness here.

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