Eazy Yi Wants a Hot Girlfriend

by Marcel Mutoni

Attention, hot (Chinese) women of the greater Milwaukee area:

Please report to the Milwaukee Bucks’ practice facility, wearing the skimpiest clothes you can find, as soon as humanly possible. Our first round pick, Yi Jianlian (affectionately known as Eazy Yi on the Internets), is in desperate need of an attractive female from the Far East for dating purposes.

Uh, by the way, we’re totally not joking:

Now we know the “real” reason Yi Jianlian is balking at playing in Milwaukee.

Said Ma Jian, a former Chinese basketball star: “Of course, definitely, CBA (Chinese Basketball Association) and Yi’s agents would prefer that he play in cities with large Chinese population. It will benefit both CBA and Yi; it will help promotion. And it will guarantee him better restaurants and perhaps better looking Chinese girlfriend.”

As you can see, It. Is. Not. A. Game.

Lovingly and Sincerely,

Milwaukee Bucks Management.