Los Angeles Lakers superstar guard Kobe Bryant still won’t give a timetable for his return to the court, no matter how hard the media tries to wring one out of him. Bryant, however, claims he’s gotten fat as he recovers from surgery on his Achilles and says he needs three weeks to get in shape (making it doubtful that he’ll play in the Lakers’ season opener.) Per the LA Times: “When will Kobe Bryant play again? Not even he knows. Bryant still needs at least three weeks of conditioning before returning to the court and he won’t even start working off the pounds until he is comfortable jumping, he says. In other words, he’s highly doubtful for the Lakers’ season opener Oct. 29 against the Clippers. Not that he’s worried about a return date. ‘I just keep it open right now,’ he said Wednesday. ‘I don’t know why you guys are so hell-bent on timelines. It’s like the most ridiculous thing to me. When I’m ready, I’m ready.’ Sidelined since April 12 because of a torn left Achilles’ tendon, Bryant has been a spectator in the Lakers’ exhibition season. He has gradually increased his treadmill time and done more calf exercises throughout the day to improve Achilles flexibility. ‘I’m starting to move a little bit more,’ he said. ‘I’m trying to pick up my pace a lot more.’ But Bryant says he has ‘Bambi legs’ and needs to strengthen them before his conditioning routine starts. And when he begins his conditioning, he’ll have plenty of work to do. ‘Six months of eating whatever the hell I want to eat and not running and stuff like that caught up to me a little bit,’ he said. ‘I can do it in about three weeks of rigorous conditioning. … It’s just the matter of having the flexibility and the strength to be able to run at high speeds out here on the court or on the track or whatever.’ [...] Bryant recently came back from an ‘Orthokine’ procedure on his right knee in Germany, but recovery from the knee treatment would not be a determining factor in his return to the court. He was reluctant to provide many details. Q: ‘How was Germany?’ A: ‘It was cold.’ Q: ‘Why did you go there now?’ A: ‘I felt like having a vacation.’”