by Marcel Mutoni

Professional athletes, for the most part, are competition junkies. The game is very much a drug, and most can’t get enough. That’s why you see guys taking performance-enhancing stuff, that’s why people return from injury too early, and it’s partly why some players hang on to their careers for way too long (*cough*Shaq*cough*).

This, however, is not the case with Stephon Marbury. He very much wants to be away from the basketball court. Fed up with his reduced role in New York and aware that no one else in the League wants him infecting their locker room, he has apparently found a way to avoid the entire headache altogether: Surgery!

“I’m going to hear from them what I already know, what we’ve seen. I have a bone spur with a fracture in it,” he said. “I have pain when I’m running up and down the court. I need surgery.”

While I don’t doubt the severity of his injury, it’s his insistence that he absolutely needs to get cut-up that I find fascinating. And disturbing. Most people hope for good news on the health front; Marbury is actively wishing to go under the knife. Incredible.

While the Marbury soap opera plays itself out, the Knicks are enjoying relative success on the court: They’ve won three in a row. Hide the women and children!