by Marcel Mutoni

Things are terrible in Miami at the moment. The Heat are 1-6 and they’re playing with the confidence of an acne-ridden 13 year old girl. Last night, they were soundly beaten by the Bobcats, and afterwards, their coach let them have it.

Pat Riley is convinced he could play better than some of his players.

“Me?” Riley began. “I should play. I guarantee you I should suit up. I’d play better than some of them right now. I guarantee you. I swear to God.

With an old hip, 62 years old, can’t (expletive) see. I’ll play better than some of my guys tonight. Come on.”

The good news is that Dwyane Wade is close to returning. The bad news is that this is still a team that a 62-year old man (with a surgically repaired hip) thinks he could outplay, and he might be right.