The NBA suspended Detroit Pistons big man Greg Monroe for two games, having learned of a guilty plea to impaired driving in April. And now details from the police report have emerged.

The cops say that Monroe was so intoxicated, he urinated on himself during the arrest. Yikes. Per MLive:

Huntington Woods police released video footage of the Feb. 13 stop and arrest, which stemmed from a defective headlight, on Wednesday. […] “I’m just trying not to be in the newspaper,” Monroe is heard saying to the officers during his transport to jail. “I play for the Pistons,” Monroe said.

 

“You play for the Detroit Pistons,” asks one of the officers in the vehicle. “Unless you told people that are going to tell people, we don’t tell people,” an officer is heard saying.

 

Monroe failed the field sobriety test, missing a letter while reciting the Alphabet with “slow and deliberate speech,” swaying when asked to count backwards to 78 from 100 and unable to walk a straight line, the report says […] “I take full responsibility for my actions and made a regrettable mistake,” Monroe said in a prepared statement released by the Pistons. “I apologize to my family, the Pistons organization, my teammates and fans. I will learn from this and continue by work to be a positive influence in the community.”