by Marcel Mutoni

Shaquille O’Neal didn’t have himself the greatest game in the absolutely epic series opener against the Spurs. Foul trouble limited him to 30 minutes, 11 points and just 5 boards.

Afterwards, as has become his annual Playoff custom, he blamed his lack of success on those pesky floppers that just can’t seem to leave him alone as he lumbers into the lane.

“The floppers prevailed,” Shaq said.

“Hopefully, those guys will compete,” he said of the Spurs, “rather than just fall down.”

Yes, Shaquille, the next time you receive the ball in the post, slowly set up your shot, and then drive that massive elbow of yours into some defender’s chest, the wuss should just take it like a man and the refs should swallow their whistles.

I mean, how quickly do people forget that what you did to Mutombo during the 2001 Finals was far worse, and you heard nary a complaint from him. Of course, Deke’s mouth was too sore from all of the elbows it absorbed for him to complain, but that’s beside the point.