Tuesday, July 31st, 2007 at 12:52 pm  |  96 responses

Bonus Celtics Analogy/Trio Nickname

1, 2, 3, Shoot.

By Jake Appleman

Flawed but worth consideration.

Kevin Garnett: Rock.
Ray Allen: Paper.

Paul Pierce: Scissors.

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  • Mongoose Posted: Jul.31 at 12:59 pm
    First

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Jul.31 at 1:01 pm
    I don’t get it.

  • Jake Appleman Posted: Jul.31 at 1:14 pm
    Use your beard for enlightenment and maybe it’ll come to you.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Jul.31 at 1:19 pm
    KG: Hardcastle
    RA: &
    PP: McCormick
    I challenge anyone to top that.

  • Daniel Posted: Jul.31 at 1:20 pm
    Jesus and his Disciples.

  • Max Airington Posted: Jul.31 at 1:23 pm
    Does it have to do with their playing styles? Or are you saying KG smokes rocks?

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Jul.31 at 1:30 pm
    I still don’t get it.

  • Jake Appleman Posted: Jul.31 at 1:30 pm
    Playing styles, Max.

  • Reggie Evans Posted: Jul.31 at 1:32 pm
    The Father, The Son, and the Holy Ghost

  • Ben Collins Posted: Jul.31 at 1:37 pm
    Sally, Jesse & Rafael.

  • Jake Appleman Posted: Jul.31 at 1:37 pm
    Russ, KG is rock in that he uses force. He is the toughness. He can still drop the hammer. He is the presence, the one that most people gravitate to because his game screams the loudest. Ray Allen is paper in that he uses the width of the floor to wrap around screens and win in tight spaces. Paul Pierce is a slasher and no product you can find at Staples represents a slasher quite like a pair of scissors. They used to battle each other and now they are united.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Jul.31 at 1:37 pm
    If you don’t think that “&” is a viable NBA nickname, you’re wrong.

  • Cheryl Posted: Jul.31 at 1:41 pm
    Okay. So… when does the season start?

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Jul.31 at 1:42 pm
    I like “Curly, Moe and Larry” better.

  • JZ Posted: Jul.31 at 1:42 pm
    Alvin
    Simon
    Theodore

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Jul.31 at 1:43 pm
    Or maybe “Earth, Wind and Fire.” Actually, I kind of like that. PP = Earth, Ray = Wind, KG = Fire. Play wit it. (Also, I don’t think Paul Pierce’s nickname should be related to anything sharp. I’m just sayin’.

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Jul.31 at 1:44 pm
    Funky, Cold, Medina?

  • Jesus Shuttlesworth Posted: Jul.31 at 1:45 pm
    da kid, the truth, and jesus. coming to an arena near you

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Jul.31 at 1:46 pm
    Nina, Pinta & Santa Maria. If you don’t get it…

  • Jake Appleman Posted: Jul.31 at 1:46 pm
    I had thought about Earth Wind and Fire but three women at Duke have already taken that.

  • SMK Posted: Jul.31 at 1:51 pm
    after seeing Doc botch end of game situations they’re going to be Grumpy Old Men.

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Jul.31 at 1:51 pm
    Tinkers to Evers to Chance? Run, DMC and Jam Master Jay? Harry, Ron and Hermione?

  • albie1kenobi Posted: Jul.31 at 1:54 pm
    i was just thinking what these threes should be called (if i hear big 3 again i’m gonna hurl). can we just call them voltron or something?

  • Sam Rubenstein Posted: Jul.31 at 2:00 pm
    So KG beats Pierce, Pierce beats Allen, and Allen beats KG.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Jul.31 at 2:02 pm
    Paris, Nicole & Lindsay. PLAY WITH THIS THING THAT I HAVE JUST WRITTEN.

  • DaHataCreata Posted: Jul.31 at 2:05 pm
    PP=Snap
    RA=Crackle
    KG=Pop

  • Jesus Shuttlesworth Posted: Jul.31 at 2:07 pm
    no ryan

  • Homie Posted: Jul.31 at 2:11 pm
    Jack, Janet and Chrissy? No, wait…

  • DaHataCreata Posted: Jul.31 at 2:18 pm
    Peter, Mike, and Bobby?

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Jul.31 at 2:24 pm
    Blood (Paul, obviously), Sweat (KG=EFFORT!) & Tears (Ray’s an actor, he can cry on cue). I have a winner. No further posts are necessary.

  • Silky Slim Posted: Jul.31 at 2:26 pm
    BDP = Beantown’s Dopest Playas.

  • Chukaz Posted: Jul.31 at 2:31 pm
    The 3 Jessicas (Simpson, Biel and Alba)

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Jul.31 at 2:45 pm
    Time to ban Chukaz again.

  • Dallas J. Posted: Jul.31 at 2:48 pm
    The Big Jesus Truth Ticket

  • Blue Posted: Jul.31 at 2:50 pm
    The Father, the son and the Holy Post…

  • Dblizzy! Posted: Jul.31 at 2:53 pm
    Bell Biv and DeVoe

  • Blue Posted: Jul.31 at 2:53 pm
    …or The fish that saved Danny Ainge and Doc Rivers Collective Asses

  • SMK Posted: Jul.31 at 2:58 pm
    John, Paul, George and Rondo

  • d.Y. Posted: Jul.31 at 3:00 pm
    everybody likes using initials these days “W”KRP? the GAP?

  • d.Y. Posted: Jul.31 at 3:01 pm
    nevermind. SMK wins

  • Chukaz Posted: Jul.31 at 3:04 pm
    @Ryan: When the f*ck was I banned the 1st time? And why whould I be banned?

  • bobby stew Posted: Jul.31 at 3:06 pm
    Tony, toni, tone,………It feels good!

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Jul.31 at 3:07 pm
    If I can’t win — which of course I can, and do, but let’s pretend — I vote for Dallas J. Unless I’m confused, and The Big Jesus Truth Ticket was actually an early ’90s alt-hippie band from England?

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Jul.31 at 3:09 pm
    d.y.’s right, though — John, Paul, George and Rondo is pretty good, too. This post is getting better and better, and would be damn near pristine if only Chukaz would leave us.

  • Nadav Posted: Jul.31 at 3:23 pm
    RP(K)G

  • Shiz Posted: Jul.31 at 3:46 pm
    Ryan and Chukaz go together like Pac and Big (although I am in NO WAY comparing either Ryan to Pac or Chukaz to Big)…Im jus sayin…

  • Young Chris #3 Posted: Jul.31 at 3:47 pm
    Metal Gear Solid… No need to differentiate between the 3 and give each a specific title that comes together (which would ultimately make them Voltron, right albie1kenobi?) But in honor of one of the greatest videogame franchises ever, I’m going with MGS (it’s a dope name… “play wit it”)

  • Shiz Posted: Jul.31 at 3:47 pm
    I like the GAP idea, long as Common doesn’t do anymore commercials..Peace, love, and…GAP?

  • Shiz Posted: Jul.31 at 3:49 pm
    Correction: I liked the GAP Idea. I love the Metal Gear Solid idea, just cuz the game is so f-r-ickin awesome…That is all.

  • Douce Posted: Jul.31 at 3:53 pm
    massa-three-chets?

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Jul.31 at 3:58 pm
    Shiz, your metaphor implies some level of artistic equality between me and Chukaz, and I find that implication unacceptable. I think this would be a good time to tell you I f*cked your wife.

  • Blue Posted: Jul.31 at 4:00 pm
    Nike-didas – Just do the impossible

  • jbn74sb Posted: Jul.31 at 4:18 pm
    Ryan, my friend, you are on fire today.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Jul.31 at 4:40 pm
    I’ma be in L.A. this Friday and Saturday, bodie. Come down to the city and I’ll buy you a mimosa.

  • H to the izzo Posted: Jul.31 at 4:47 pm
    You might aswell buy him a Mojito if you’re gonna go the gay drink route

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Jul.31 at 4:55 pm
    Or perhaps a daquiri?

  • H to the izzo Posted: Jul.31 at 5:04 pm
    Does it come with a half buttoned up shirt,a pair of loafers and impossibly tight pants?

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Jul.31 at 5:19 pm
    I think it’s better if I don’t answer that. Although I will be in West L.A…

  • jbn74sb Posted: Jul.31 at 5:21 pm
    Negative as to all of the above. Us Santa Barbarians try to never leave our little slice of paradise, particularly during the summer time. Plus, the annual Fiesta (a drunken 5 days that rivals Mardi Gras) starts tomorrow. All that said, I leave for Dodger Stadium in half an hour. I will catch 755, assuming Barroid even plays tonight.

  • Reggie Evans Posted: Jul.31 at 5:23 pm
    Fork – KG (“Stick a fork in the other team. They’re Done”) Spoon – Ray Allen (“Spoon feeding the team”. Would work better if Ray was a point guard) Knife – Paul Pierce.

  • Kevin Wilson Posted: Jul.31 at 5:26 pm
    All I can think of is the Big Jesus Truth Ticket.

  • nev Posted: Jul.31 at 5:32 pm
    alright KG is in the east giving him a chance to be in the playoffs again but can they win? KG can make any player on the court worse. Don’t know how but Minnesota has suffered. That said
    KG: Moe
    Ray: Larry
    P Pierce: Curly Moe is their leader. Good news for KG is the Celtics record last year.

  • Chukaz Posted: Jul.31 at 5:47 pm
    If the whole thing about me and Ryan being like Pac and Big, I have to be Pac ’cause I’m superior.

  • Blue Posted: Jul.31 at 5:55 pm
    All I can think of is: Arenas, Wade, Lebron, KG and Dwight for the 2008 All Star East Starting 5…Good Grief!!

  • Blue Posted: Jul.31 at 5:57 pm
    Pac died first too, Chukaz

  • 4daPeace Posted: Jul.31 at 7:49 pm
    I call them GAP line (Garnett, Allen, Pierce) for filling out the gap in Celtics history and team between years 1986 (death of Len Bias and last NBA championship) and 2007 (18 games in a row loosing streak).

  • The Spin Posted: Jul.31 at 8:31 pm
    The Big 3. Read up on them at http://www.clutch3.com

  • bootlace Posted: Jul.31 at 9:16 pm
    KGRAPP- Collective nickname for the big 3, pronounced ‘crap’ but with a funky accent.

  • Hank Williams Posted: Jul.31 at 9:21 pm
    As an antipodean who has never ventured to North American shores, I am probably not qualified to make comparative statements on the merits of your late musicians, but when Mr Chukaz claims Tu-Schmuck is better than Big I get all irate. Surely you jest? Having said that I know musical taste is inherently subjective, so please disregard any pejorative intent you feel you may have sensed in what I just wrote, I realise the futility of my own statement. May I also ask what the obsession with people posting “First” comments on posts is? Is this a uniquely American phenomena? To me it just seems juvenile and gratuitous. I guess I just wasn’t made for these times. What I can tell you all as gospel fact is that the New Zealand media report Sean Marks to be a bona fide NBA superstar. You heard it here first.

  • slate Posted: Jul.31 at 9:40 pm
    Starsky,Hutch & Huggy Bear

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Jul.31 at 10:04 pm
    This (PP), That (Ray A.), and The Third (KG).

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Jul.31 at 10:04 pm
    70th!

  • bootlace Posted: Jul.31 at 10:19 pm
    BIG(PP cuz he almost got assasinated like Biggy) BANG (RA cuz he shoots the lights out) BOOM (KG cuz he’s so explosive). Also makes sense because when it was just BIG BANG, it was a theory, now with the BOOM, theres no more denying the legitimacy.

  • bootlace Posted: Jul.31 at 10:24 pm
    Pee-Pee, Ray-Ray, Ku-Ku. Because like babies, all eyes will be on them.

  • bootlace Posted: Jul.31 at 10:43 pm
    S.O.S (Slash Outplay Shoot), 20,34,5 (There is no number 1 in team), Ticket to the Jesus Truth, Do Ray Me, Krap PG (what you get when you re arrange their initials), Fellowship of the Ring

  • Sanchez Posted: Jul.31 at 11:10 pm
    its all starting to sound to corny. Big Jesus Truth Ticket has to be the winner. Though i think it could just be the Jesus Truth Ticket. “hey, what are you doin tonight?”
    “oh, im goin to go see the Jesus Truth Ticket”
    “…cool”

  • dre Posted: Aug.1 at 1:05 am
    “Monstrous”….. Leviathan, Behemoth and Ziz

  • Diogo Posted: Aug.1 at 1:37 am
    Omar-Marlo-Wee Bay
    .
    Fellowship of the Rings is cool. If they ever get one.

  • Ill Will Posted: Aug.1 at 1:58 am
    Yeah, the GAP was aight. But you could give it that old school flavor and call them the GAP Band

  • Doc Posted: Aug.1 at 3:50 am
    Tinky Winky, Poh, and La-lah

  • Boing Dynasty Posted: Aug.1 at 6:11 am
    Ronny, Bobby & Mike?

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Aug.1 at 8:27 am
    Chukaz can be Pac, but only in the “dancing with Digital Underground” days.

  • ForzaMilan Posted: Aug.1 at 12:09 pm
    from tchdwnjzt at ESPN: THE BIG THREE CONTRACTS. Deliciously irreverent.

  • DaHataCreata Posted: Aug.1 at 4:16 pm
    How abuot the Rza, Gza, and Pza. Or ‘At-least-one-of-us-should-be-on-the-cover-of-a-videogame’. Or LL Cool K, Big Daddy Rain (Allen rains 3′s), and Master P. It sucks, but who cares Jesus Truth Ticket is gonna win.

  • Blue Posted: Aug.1 at 4:55 pm
    KG and the Sunshine Band

  • Diogo Posted: Aug.2 at 5:48 pm
    Blue, you got it!!!!

  • Lazy Lew Posted: Aug.2 at 9:09 pm
    “blood, sweat, and tears” is straight, although Paul’s nickname is cold.

  • DWADE Posted: Aug.6 at 1:29 pm
    Leonardo rafael and maichalangelo (no one ever liked donatello)

  • Marsupilami Posted: Aug.9 at 2:20 am
    and Doc River will be April

  • Kareem Posted: Aug.14 at 2:00 pm
    I GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Big, the bad, and the ugly!!!!!!!!!!!11

  • jon Posted: Aug.15 at 10:07 am
    the three leaf clover

  • Baseer Posted: Aug.22 at 12:11 am
    The 3 Little Pigs. :p

  • thomas Posted: Sep.18 at 7:09 am
    The Serving Trey
    Three Basketeers
    The Tres To Impress

  • Riverz Posted: Sep.18 at 6:42 pm
    The Mean Green Bean Team

  • Riverz Posted: Sep.18 at 7:03 pm
    3xHope Cause everybody hoping KG’s 20/10/5 is enough. Hoping both RA & PP stay healthy. Hoping Wally & KG play nice. Hoping Rondo… well just hoping.

  • mcnugget Posted: Oct.15 at 11:42 pm
    Honestly if you dont think the celtics team is gonna dominate you are either lying to yourself or know NOTHING about basketball. I hate Boston but they would be an elite team out west up there among phx and utah and them, theyre gonna be a POWER in the east. You severely underrate their depth and their defense. Not to mention Rondo and Perkins that are legit 1 and 5′s and are much better than you make them out to be and a perfect fit in their lineup around the core 3 superstars. They got the defensive coach as their assistant that guy thibodeau that organized the old knicks defense and more recently the rockets defense of the past 3 seasons. Not only that but on their depth the great teams in this league are 8-10 men deep in their rotation, the Celtics HAVE that. They have proven veteran roleplayers like James Posey, Eddie House, Scalabrine, Dante Jones and Pollard, and also have very good young guys like Tony Allen, Leon Powe, Rondo and Kendrick Perkins. You say injuries but look at any team even the spurs would be killed by an injured star player when it comes to title hopes. The suns have been a 7 man rotation for 3 years and theyve been a powerhouse. The heat in the first year with shaq had MUCH WORSE DEPTH and had the equivalent to eddie house as their STARTING pointguard in Damon Jones, they had holes in 3/5th’s of their lineup and no good bench guys(unless you consider michael doleac and rasual butler good bench guys) and they won 59 games and were 1 win from the finals (and a wade injury away from winning the title in my opinon). The celtics are SET for a rotation which seemed impossible after the late garnett trade, but its the truth, they are loaded with one of the best starting 5s in the nba (and best trio)and do have depth for a very good rotation overall. KG opens up everything, they got his role to dominate inside, and he needs to be doubled down in the post because he is unstoppable when they dont double, and when they do he can get it to Ray or Pierce or Rondo/House for an open shot or a slash to the rim or to perk for an open dunk…. KG opens up everything from the inside and him and the other kid lock down the paint when theyre on defense. Its PAUL PIERCE AND RAY ALLEN too. Think about that. The depth around them is very good for a 9 man rotation too. Their overall team on paper is better than our team was in 04 that won the division and got the topseed in the west on the way to the west conference finals, and their trio with garnett is much better. They should CRUSH teams. Their GM did a very good job of filling out the roster with proven veteran roleplayers and some good young talent around the core 3 A+ all-nba guys in limited time for a great run with a possible title if things go right. But more importantly he made all the right moves and didnt make any panic/stupid moves which set himself up perfect to fill out the roster in his first full summer next offseason to LOAD UP for a SERIOIUS title run. I hate boston, but I am happy for Ray Allen and especially KG and even Pierce. And this celtic team is the nearly sole reason that I have purchased league pass for the first time EVER in 35 years of diehard NBA fandom. Theyre gonna be a POWERHOUSE this year and a special team for the next 4 years and may win the whole thing not just the east……. by you I mean: people, critics, etc…….. oh yeah and the nickname is TRIPLETHREAT!

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