Friday, October 24th, 2008 at 8:00 am  |  499 responses

SLAMonline Top 50: Kevin Garnett, no. 4

The definitive ranking of the best players in the NBA today…

by Jake Appleman

“Kevin Garnett is absolutely f*cking insane. But you already knew that. There were two moments last night when KG was oozing hardwood psycho like a metaphorical serial rapist. Once, as the ball was brought up the floor he did this sort of slide/trance/dance thing which I can’t describe any better than that–maybe he actually slipped, but I doubt it–and when the Cavs were in-bounding the ball, sideline out of bounds towards the end of the game, he was sneaking around like a dude that had a knife in his back pocket. The man is a fire-breathing dragon of intense ridiculousness that would eat your screaming baby alive if you left it in the paint by accident.” – What I wrote following game 1 of the ECSF.

You know that feeling you get when one of those perfect moments hits you? Maybe you’re on a long, desolate stretch of highway and you’re feeling a late night caffeine kick; you know you’re alone, so you SLAMonline Top 50: Kevin Garnett, no. 4start testing the limits of your ride, open it up a little bit. Maybe you’re minding your own business on the subway and a beautiful girl walks in and stands right next to you, right after one of those cheesy love songs pops up on your iPod shuffle. You smile sheepishly, flush with all the emotions that encapsulate a tender everyday moment that you’ll never get back and probably won’t even remember ten minutes later. Maybe you’ve just lined an opposite field single in your geriatric league softball game for old people. You’re feeling the reverberation of the bat just as you begin to watch the ball sail into right field. You went with the pitch, you smart bastard. A happy smirk crosses your face as you start to run to first base.

These moments epitomize the adrenaline-building mini-gifts that remind us of the pure, simple bliss life can provide. Last year, Kevin Garnett’s entire season seemed to embody one of these moments. Except it was prolonged–instead of interrupted bursts, the lingering echo of a primal scream–and the basketball world’s reminder of a long forgotten emerald heaven.

As I watched Tuesday night’s Celtics-Knicks preseason snoozer, the thing that stuck—other than Eddie HOF (House On Fire) and Clyde Frazier noting “Pruitt, do it” —was KG’s frame of mind. His acid tongue and gladiator leadership were in mid season form—in October. He was teaching, preaching, and naturally emitting the next level emotional stuff that defines him. Patrick O’Bryant was, to say the least, stiffening, so KG used his words and steely glare to play chiropractor. Class was in session. Leon Powe and Big Baby Davis, eight days from some newly minted green bling, gazed into his eyes with a wonderment that belied the amount of time they’d already spent learning from him. Mike Breen gushed, as he is wont to do when he’s watching the polar opposite of the Knicks, and the point was made. This dude is the consummate teammate. If the pre-season is any indication, the Cs aren’t going anywhere.

While clichés usually annoy and serve, as much than anything else, to piss off the knowledge sports fan, there was one last season that never really got old: the Celtics’ resurgence occurred primarily because Kevin Garnett changed the atmosphere. He’s elemental like water and wind.

Or fire.

Want more of the SLAMonline Top 50? Check out the archive.

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  • Teddy-the-Bear

    Cool, I be out.

  • http://www.slamonline.com James The Balla

    @teddy- im high on life son!

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    Wait, just read you comment James. Who the f*ck ranks SLAM commenters. You and your g@y e-buddies? Okay, leave me it out of it, thanks h0m0.

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    Also, James, you sound like a ret@rd. Okay nuff said, peace and shut up!

  • http://www.freewebs.com/betcats BETCATS

    Thank god for teddy the bear. Only person who will stay my oponet yet demand my mutal respect at the same time. And James what the fu(k are you talking about. WETCAT? BETPu$$Y? as Eminem said to Stan in the Eminem song Stan “whats this we should be together too crap? Thats the king of sh!t that makes me never want to meet you”. (yes i just quoted a white rapper, i am now 15% more wh@ck i know i know, but the man Shaddy could spit, sorta)

  • Bruno

    James The Balla says:
    Yes it is EBOY!! If Kobe is second … this list is worse than George going for a third term in office!!
    hauhauhahauahu, that was very good!
    .
    i just came back cause i’m really glad to see Russ saying AI should’ve been higher.
    Allen Iverson is the only player in the world that i don’t care if he wins a ‘chip or not, he was plain GREAT.everything he already did is more than enough for me.
    if Iverson never win a ‘chip… too bad for the NBA. i have him as #9!
    yes… top 10!
    i would rather have him before i have Paul Pierce in ANY PLANET.
    and something that i know a lot of people would complain… i rather have TEAM Duncan than Lebronha choker… ANY DAY, ANY TIME…
    1 – Kobe, thats just undisputed. look at this guy stats all those last years, look at his hands and the rings. he has been NBA’s best for quite a long time and now, last season he was MVP, NBA finalist out of that craaazy WEST CON. how can you say somebody else is better than him?
    2 – TEAM, the ROBOT
    3 – Lebron (and i really hope that 2009 will prove DWADE and CP3 are better than him too)

  • http://www.slamonline.com James The Balla

    Thanks Bruno … BEt, im bored as fack at work so i thought i would make fun of your name son!! Dont get sour!

  • http://www.slamonline.com James The Balla

    Only joking … man i need a life. Teddy, hire me as your ghostwriter!!

  • http://www.slamonline.com James The Balla

    And where is Jukai, im guessing he is actually done posting on this list?

  • http://tdot.com T

    thtjf

  • Anton

    if Kobe doesn’t get 1000 responses I’ll be angry

  • cozza

    how can you put tim duncan above kg?
    kg is one of the most likeable, honest, passionate people you will ever see play basketball, whilst tim duncan is a complete tool who is overrated like…there is nothing to compare. hang on…like tony parker is.

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    @ cozza: Tim Duncan is overrated? Okay now I’ve heard them all.
    For the first time ever, and I mean EVER: Co-Sign BETCATS @ 7:25. That Eminem quote was really quite fitting to what James has been doing today… I think he’s a little high.

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    Okay I don’t feel like arguing.
    Tim Duncan deserves to be in the top 5. I’m a little unsure of top 3, but top 5 most definitely. So I won’t complain too much about his placement.

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com Moose

    Hey y’all! Moose is back and better than ever . . . for a coupla minutes. Whaddya got that’s entertaining that we can talk/argue about?

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com Moose

    Just to bring up something random, I’m playing a fantasy bball league with my friends, and here’s my lineup:
    Dwyane Wade
    Kevin Martin
    Al Jefferson
    Kevin Garnett
    Josh Smith
    OJ Mayo
    Emeka Okafor
    Greg Oden
    Gerald Wallace
    Michael Beasley
    Derrick Rose
    Samuel Dalembert
    Francisco Garcia
    I say I’m nasty, what do y’all say?

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com Moose

    An eight team league. I’m gon’ dominate.

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com Moose

    I’m out everyone. Tell me what you think about my team, see y’all later.

  • Bruno

    i say you have a very good team, but u’ll need lucky…
    oden gerald wallace, wade okafor… all them staying healthy?
    i have a lot of faith in OJ Mayo… i just hope he doesn’t go crazy living in such a boring place,,,

  • http://www.freewebs.com/betcats BETCATS

    Moose you have a young and productive team. That roster is crazy. I updated my site. I have been on AIM with my girl all night. I am done now. Peace!

  • Kamran

    does dis mean tim duncan is in tha top three????!?!? if yes gay top 50

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com/ RV

    Moose: Garcia is out for 2 weeks, both beasley and Rose may not do too well early on, Rose may only be average most of the season, for an 8 team league i think there’s probably more consistent guys in your free agent pool. Delembert’s stats are gonna dip now that Brand will play next to him, especially his rebounding/blocks, not by too much, but still. Your FT shooting might suffer because Okafor sucks, Al, Wallace, Oden, and Rose are all right at about 70%, which is decent in the league, but low for fantasy basketball. You only have about 3 guys who shoots 3s, so your total 3s made might be low. Sorry didn’t meant to sound too negative about your team, but pointing out the flaws should help you out more, but you’ll get a lot of steals, rebounds, and blocks.

  • BBAller

    With some time before season kicks off how about a quick all time list( by positions)
    Centers:
    S.O’neal
    H.Olojawon
    D.Rob
    Power Forwards:
    T.Duncan
    K.Garnett
    K.Malone
    Small Forwards:
    S.Pippen
    Dr J
    Lebron
    S.Guards:
    MJ
    Kobe
    Points:
    Magic
    J.Stockton
    I’m a beleiver that Wilt, Bill Russell and the like were achievers back in the day but wouldn’t outshine modern pros.

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    Moose, your team is nice, but why do you have Fancisco Garcia?

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com Money Bill Williams

    i’m glad i have been out of the loop for a coupla weeks, coz my intelligence has gone down by reading these comments

  • Maria Callas

    @Money…..:ti kaneis filarako..!!!!

  • http://nba.com ninja cool

    Man, TDunc’s article’s taking some time. Unlike the one who did KG’s who wanted it over with quickly…

  • ClydeSaid

    Crazy: “The man is a fire-breathing dragon of intense ridiculousness that would eat your screaming baby alive if you left it in the paint by accident.” -

    Doesn’t KG seem CRAZIER now that he’s got talent behind him? Somehow I thought he’d cool down his act. Maybe it’s because he had more to celebrate in one season in Boston than he ever did in Minny.

    Is KG better than TD? Maybe recently, but Timmy gets the nod in the history books, even if KG snatches another ring or 2.

  • Mark Z

    I was watching the pre season game Jake mentions. KG was ALL OVER P OBryant in EVERY time out. Right up in his face. No sideways comments from the bench, or angry comments after a blown play. Just cheering, screaming, coaching, preaching all the time.

    Incredible. You think he would have mellowed with a better team around him, but he went in the opposite direction. He seems crazier now than he ever did before.

  • earljack

    Garnott runs from the ball n the finals,Duncans runs to the ball.Point made!

  • http://nba.com ninja cool

    And O’Bryant had the balls to give KG some ‘tude. What I’d give to get locker room footage.

  • Wang

    Hello everyone~
    Ni men hao!

  • Majic

    duncan 3rd kobe 2nd lebron 1st

  • earljack

    Check all of San Antoinios playoff games when facing ellimination and youll see why timmy is the greatest PF ever.Evan if they lose the game(which they rarely do)youll see his numbers are sick across the boards.Cant imagine Garnott hitting a backboard 3 to send a game into overtime as timmy did on Phoenix or a fall away 22 footer with Shaq all over him with 3 tics left in the 04 playoffs.Ray Allen or Paul Pierce yes but not KG.

  • Orlando Green

    TD better than KG………ahahhahahaha

  • Orlando Green

    Lebron will definitly not be first….based on the fact that duncan is so high…it looks like the list is based on past merits…Kobe will be #1…..which is where he should be

  • TimMAY

    Tim Duncan is the greatest big man to ever play the game and will go down as the best player of all time if the Spurs can string together a few more titles. lmfao Kg isn’t even the best player on his team.

  • frodo88

    bs, KG over duncan any day.

  • http://slamonline.com/online/columnists/absence/2008/10/slamonline-top-50-kevin-garnett-no-4/#comment AndyK

    Kevin Garnett is the greatest basketball player to ever walk the earth not named MJ!!!
    KG should be at #1!!! and yes I’m from MN

  • B.I.G.

    AndyK, KG is great, but not the greatest. Probably the most enthusiastic. Kobe is the next best thing to Micheal Jordan.

    KG deserves this. But I think he should be #3. Celtics have KG, PP, And RA. Spurs have TD, MG, and TP. Manu and Parker are ranked 14 & 21 in this. While Pierce and Ray are ranked 7 & 35. What would a coach rather have. 2 players ranked 14 & 21, or 7 & 35? It’s pretty obvious 14 & 21 are better then 7 & 35. Then how did the Celtics win the championship, even though Greg Poppovich is known as one of the best coaches in NBA today? Simple, they had Garnett. If Spurs have Greg Popovich, Manu, Parker, A pretty solid bench, Bowen, and Tim Duncan, Obviously KG is better then TD to give them that advantage.

  • Frodo

    Just trying to get to 500 comments.

  • http://slamonline.com/online/columnists/absence/2008/10/slamonline-top-50-kevin-garnett-no-4/#comment AndyK

    B.I.G. yes, great point

  • Frodo

    Yes, Kobe #1. Thats how it should be.

  • Frodo

    Almost at 500.

  • frodo88

    How come no one posts anymore. KG is gonna get to 500.

  • http://www.youtube.com/mandiixoxo Amanda

    KG looks like the man thats eaten a screaming baby or two-
    or five.
    *gulps*

  • http://celticknightk3@aol.com Celtic Knight

    Overall KG is better than TD. TD may be slightly better in the paint but I beg the differ when its outside shooting and defense. Even on the all time 50 list they put TD over Larry Legend so you guys know this is so illogical and set up to get us fight over who is supposed to be in the right sequences. Oh by the way Celtics will stomp on Lakers in the Finals of 2010!

  • A KG fan from China

    As a loyal fan of KG’s,I expect a higher rank to KG,and we all know he has that ability.I love his passion,his attitude,his skills,of course his personality!He leads,and will lead my life!

    And,I think,this ranking should not only include every player’s basketball skills,but also his personality.So,I don’t think Kobe should rank NO.1.As known,he only has good skills,just so.

  • luvbrahms

    Hi everyone. I am from china too.
    imo, kg is a great player, but there’s no way he’s better than TD except in 2004season. It’s ridiculous that TD has not got a DPOY while KG had one.
    TD might be among the all time top 10, and KG could make it top 25

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