Welcome to Wade County.
Miami is about music. Whether it’s the groovy covers being played by a full-on band outside the arena, the salsa and samba vibes percolating on the beaches, or the feel good early 90’s dance tracks dominating the radio, the city oozes rhythm like none other. Case in point: Despite pockets of empty seats, the crowd still pulses thanks to the shakers they’ve been given.
Basketball is also about rhythm. Coming in bruised and battered, it was up to the Heat to find their rhythm to ensure their season lived to see another day.
Led by their all-world percussionist and an army of marksmen that hit all the right notes, it wasn’t even close. Not that that should surprise anyone who has paid attention to a series that has featured more blowouts than a strip mall going out of business.
Pregame
– Getting to the media seat required a walk through a horde of Heat dancers. Which I guess means that even in South Florida, one can get preview of Silicon Valley.
– The Solomon Jones / Joel Anthony matchup reminds me of something I saw at the beach this week. At least they both score early on.
– Something I’ve been meaning to mention for awhile: Duane Reade, the pharmacy, should adopt the “Dwayyyyyyyne Waaaaade” made basket PA call when customers enter. It’d be a great marketing ploy, were the chain to move down south.
First quarter
– B-Easy wets his first two jumpers. If he got a tan, gained a few pounds and forgot how to jump, he could become Sam Perkins 2.0.
– James Jones is in rhythm early as well, money from short corner. The help has helped D-Wade to 24-12 lead.
– If you thought the Heat wouldn’t play that “The Heat is On” song in the American Airlines Arena, you would be so wrong.
– Wade booms on Bibby on the fastbreak. The crowd rises. At the end of the quarter, he shakes Mario West and wets a short jumper to put the Heat up 32-18. It feels like the series of blowouts is going to continue to play out that way.
Second quarter
– Jamaal Magloire is whistled for an illegal screen. I’m getting nostalgic.
– We’re almost 15 minutes in and Joe Johnson just woke up. I’d try and bring out the “but he does other things” argument, but his team is down 15 and he’s taken two shots.
– Daequan Cook buries his second jumper in a row. Flash’s cape is getting Heat flashes…or something.
– This entire week has been 82 highs and 74 lows, and I was told Miami is having an extended winter. This arena needs a retractable roof.
– A Josh Smith block ignites a Hawks’ fastbreak beautifully. Bibby finishes the layup.
– Beasley has gone cold.
– Bibby lures Mario Chalmers into a foul with a deft pump fake that sends the rookie flying. This comes a possession after Bibby drilled a three on the Hawks’ third opportunity. Yet it’s still a 43-30 game.
– It’s safe to say that so far, the Hawks might as well have left their bench in Atlanta. 51-42 at the half.
Third quarter
– A Wade jumper and a Joel Anthony layup force Woody to call a timeout immediately. One would think coming out sluggish after being down 9 at the half with a chance to eliminate an opponent kind of defeats the purpose of halftime. Speaking of Anthony, he’s impressed so far; rebounding and scoring when needed, setting some mean screens, and even coming up with a stellar weakside rejection. An ability to do something with the ball after catching it in screen/roll situations would be gravy, I guess.
– If you assume Dwyane Wade falls down every time he gets fouled, so far tonight he’s fallen down seven times and gotten up eight, the eighth being his getting out of bed in the morning. Also: one can’t help but wonder how many of those charity trips Al Horford would have prevented.
– After a spectacular reverse layup that puts the Heat up 61-42, Mario Chalmers gets into it with Bibby. Seems like Mario could use some…nevermind.
– Josh Smith serves up a facial on Joel Anthony. If Smith was a mathlete like he’s an athlete, he’d be doing international code-breaking or using quantum physics to create lightweight robots that fly through the air like he does.
– A DWade stepback three makes it a 23-point game. Who knows, maybe game seven won’t suck.
– Flip Murray, who up until this point had been playing like swine flu (too soon?), drills a three to make it a 20-point game.
– My new favorite thing. The PA Announcer here goes, “Two 
minutes…DOS!”
– Looking to extend the bulge, the Heat go to Beasley in the post and he turns into garbage time’s trash compacter.
Fourth quarter
– Jermaine O’Neal is concussed, Mario Chalmers just cussed, and Jamaal Magloire is crust.
– Michael Beasley has taken 23 shots and Joe Johnson has taken 11. That tells part of the story.
– Up 24, Dwyane Wade is drilling baseline fadeaways and barreling into Flip Murray. Paging Erik Spoelstra, get him out of there.
– Josh Smith, who’s struggling mightily on the offensive end, picks up a T after bumping Beasley. He just joined Mo Evans in the, “I can’t get anything to go down so I’m going to get pissed off and pick up a T” club. Good job guys.
– Perhaps because he needs 40 and another MVP serenade, Wade throws down on Zaza Pachulia’s face. Mostly unrelated, Pachulia should marry a girl named Julia. Another D-Wade and-one, this time on a floater over Joe Johnson, and he’s got 41. 92-63, Heat. Like I said, I hope game seven doesn’t suck.
– Six hours after throwing a football around, I walked past Dan Marino. Should’ve fake-spiked his drink.
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