Lopsided blowouts lead to mind wandering…
PRE:
–The starting lineups are brought to you by Terminator Salvation. Of course they are. Maybe the foreshadowing is that the Lakers are supposed to “BE BACK!”
–That “I love LA” song has nothing on “New York, New York”. Though, in fairness, I must wonder whether or not LA is an old enough city to even have a song like “New York, New York.” Not to fear, I’m sure John Mayer will musically tweet “Your Valley is a Wonderland” at some point.
–The Rockets start Chuck Hayes at center, at least according to the PA guy. That’s like driving a Volvo in a Monster Truck Rally, which isn’t necessarily a terrible idea given the rugged reputation of some Volvos. Bynum starts for the Lakers and is checked by Scola. Hayes sticks with Pau, who also has center size.
–It was rumored that Lamar Odom’s consistently solid play this year was a result of a preseason meeting with the Dos Equis guy, who told Odom to “stay thirsty, my friend.” I just love the idea of Lamar Odom chilling with the “Most Interesting Man in the World”. He’s probably the only Laker that could hack it with that dude, other than Ariza.
First Quarter:
–Boos rain down as Houston starts up 6-2.
–Bynum is active around the basket early, scoring the Lakeshow’s first six points. That’s a good sign. The crowd appreciates and gives him a nice ovation when he exits.
–Kobe’s in share mode early on, and his share drive is overloaded–two early turnovers.
–How much hay would a Chuck Hayes chuck if a Chuck Hayes could Chuck hays. I’m not sure…many bales? Regardless, if he was traded to the Nets he could do a World B. Free thing and become East Rutherford B. Hayes.
–AB beats Derek Fisher backdoor twice. The first results in an easy layup, the second in great ball movement that doesn’t translate into points. Derek Fisher is old and slow. His plus/minus would be minus Farmar and Brown. In D Fishing terms, he’s John Salmons swimming downstream five years from now.
–Up 13-8, the Rockets are hitting the offensive glass hard. Good spacing and quick hustle are a fun combo.
–The Lakers again are struggling on close-outs. An open three for Battier puts the Rox up 18-12. Thankfully for LA, Ron Artest likes to take shots that naturally close the defender out on him.
–The Lakers pick up a quick six behind buckets from Fisher, Kobe and Ariza, then a great idea (a Fisher post up on the low block) goes awry. Two more Kobe buckets–including a nice jackknife past Artest through the lane for a reverse layup that thwarts nice Battier help D–puts LA up 22-20. Kobe then proceeds to stick a jumper over Battier in which Shane’s arm literally rose above Bean’s head. You can’t play him any better than that.
–I go out to take a phone call and Chris Rock, presumably there to see his half-brother Aaron Brooks, looks at me as he walks by. Being on the phone, I can’t ask him to give me the big piece of chicken. Or about clear heels.
–It’s a 15-2 run and the Rockets have gotten really careless with the ball. Odom buries an open 3 to put the Lakers up 10. Farmar drills one at buzzer to increase the bulge to 11. All of this has gone down without East Rutherford B. Hayes on the floor. Battier would lament Hayes’s foul trouble and subsequent absence afterward.
Second Quarter:
–Luke Walton and Sasha Vujacic check in together, maybe because Phil wants to keep the game close. Von Wafer comes and checks Vujacic in the “streaky shooters with wild hair and questionable attitudes” matchup.
–Pau is just abusing Brian Cook in the low block. So much so that Carl Landry has to pick him up, which sucks for Houston because Cook is longer and taller. This leaves Cook on Odom and the result is an almost and-one when Cook can’t keep up with Odom’s quickness cutting to the hoop. Chuck Hayes moves his feet like a ballerina linebacker. Brian Cook moves his feet like he’s failing at Dance Dance Revolution. Combine that with his inability to knock down some bombs, and the Rox might have well as thrown Joey Dorsey out there to knock somebody on their ass.
–A Machine dunk puts the Lakers up 19. He swiped a Von Wafer jumper from behind to create his own run out. Those would be his only points. The Machine needs a mechanic. In a 30 point win, he ended up +3 and said something seemingly out of place to Phil Jackson on his way to the bench. I saw that in Game 2 also.
–The Rockets cut it to 14 for a while, but Wafer and Brent Barry can’t hit threes to make a serious dent in the deficit. A Pau finger roll facial falling down and a Shannon Brown three bring it back to 19.
–T-Mac, who turns 30 in two weeks, looks old in his suit. He might only have three or four years left. It would be wise of him to go be a 4th option on a good team in 2010. Actually, I could see him as a Microwave type if he ever needs to truly limit his minutes.
–Up 20, the Lakers are throwing in the Powell.
–It’s just a festival of missed jumpers for the Rox. Some open, some contested. All bricks. Maybe they’re building the Shannon Brown Should Be Starting Foundation.
–More nastiness from Kobe, including another jumper during which his face annexes Shane Battier’s arm. 29 point game.
–The Rockets shoot 14-45 for the half, or 31 puh sent, in Hubie Brown. That’s pretty much all you need to know.
Third Quarter:
–30 point game.
–How do you get a 24-second violation when you’re down 29? Screw notes, I’m just writing down mostly random, quasi-related stuff.
–Polar bears.
–5 Lane Freeways.
–Polar bears driving down 5 lane freeways.
–Polar bears driving down 5 lane freeways debating Kobe/LeBron, and then sideswiping a teenage mother on her way back from donating a rare blood type to a child in need.
–A child in need thinking about polar bears as he watches a classic Coke ad.
–A child in need winning tickets to a Lakers game after writing a “Why Shannon Brown should be starting” essay for the Shannon Brown Should Be Starting Foundation, and then watching Kevin Harlan spend more time looking at the game on the screen in front of him than the game in of front him. (Maybe that’s just how it is when you’re doing play-by-play…)
–Sasha Vujacic becoming a diplomat after he retires, but failing to be able to defend his own argument.
–Holding a debate in my about whether or not I’d prefer Rick Barry’s genes over my own were I to have a son.
–40 point game.
Fourth Quarter:
–30 point game.
–”We want tacos.”
–A drunk fan getting free tacos and falling in love with the teenage mother that had to pick up a second job at Jack in the Box after insurance claims piled up following her accident with polar bears on a 5 lane freeway.
–A young child being fed too many tacos because that’s how his parents met and enduring years of jealously from an older sibling that cares not for the Lakers or tacos.
–Purple and gold confetti.
Post:
–Shane Battier puts black pad thingies on his feet before he ices them.
–Ron Artest is hilarious. What did you learn Ron? “I learned it was a blowout.”
–Kobe seems rather subdued for such a big win, but he’s probably still in kill mode. You’ve gotta wonder how different “sensitive, thoughtful press conference Kobe” is different from “inside his own head” Kobe. Regardless, I’d be very surprised if this goes 7.
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