Top 50: Brandon Roy, no. 10
The definitive ranking of the NBA’s best players.
By Jake Appleman/@JakeAppleman
“You ever heard of the multiverse theory, Brian?…The theory states that there are an infinite number of universes co-existing with ours on parallel dimensional planes…Now, in each of these alternate universes the reality is different from our own. Sometimes only slightly, sometimes quite ra
dically; the point is, every possible eventuality exists.” - Stewie Griffin. (While Family Guy has fallen off precipitously over the past few seasons, this season’s first episode, which dealt with the theory stated above, did not disappoint.)
The midwife shrieked with glee. Never before had her job been so easy. The kid just popped out, smooth, barely a push from his mom needed. It was as if he said, “it’s my time, bring to me the light–and I’m going to stay there forever.” Of course, for anyone that’s seen Roy Brandon play ball, that his birth mimics his game isn’t surprising. What’s truly ridiculous is that the immediate moments afterwards captured the essence of his personality. The infant pointed his little fingers and blatantly mocked the obstetrician’s mangled stethoscope. Arrogant trash talk at five minutes old? Roy Brandon wouldn’t have it any other way.
Flash forward to the present and it’s a big year for Brandon. His tumultuous off-season began when a Spanish rapper that signed to his fledgling label, Roy-alty Records, suckered T-Wolves rookie Ricky Rubio into criticizing his new general manager, Bill Simmons. New York Post reporter Peter “the garter snake” Vescey labeled it “The Spanish Inquisition.” Then, Brandon added insult to his injury-free career when he rejected a four year contract extension for max money, antagonizing the diehard Portland fans that are growing weary of his antics.
For those not familiar, a quick recap:
–Ever since draft night 2006, Brandon, feeling snubbed, has referred to Andrea Bargnani, Adam Morrison, Tyrus Thomas and Shelden Williams–all selected before him–as “Who,” “What,” “Why,” and “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
–On his Twitter feed, Brandon noted that while he’d never taken a business course in college, he’d come up with a formula to succeed at endorsement promotion. “I’ve deduced that Stephon Marbury + Good At Basketball = Mad Money, like the bald dude on MSNBC that looks like a rabid squirrel,” he wrote.
–At the suggestion of a gawky, magazine writer Roy decided to ask all reporters to pronounce his name “Wah,” like the hockey goalie, in an effort to up his Q rating in tiny Portland. Efforts to remake the “wahhhhh-saaaaaaaa” Budweiser commercials were blocked by David Stern, because “pro athletes selling beer to kids is wrong; especially light beer.”
–It’s been rumored that Brandon stormed out of a Nike meeting, threatening to legally change his name to Roy Brand-One, a possible moniker for his potential venture into the Chinese sneaker market. Sources close to the Blazers believe he’s intent on becoming the NBA’s OchoCinco, if the NBA’s OchoCinco had a tattoo in Chinese letters that meant, “Arrogance Is Controlled Awesomeness.”
–Brandon skipped a home game against the Bobcats, claiming on his blog that he had a bad case of “plantar fascism.” That night, at an awards show, Brandon was reportedly seen cavorting alongside a nominated rapper. Â And yes, Drake’s “Coffee Cake” won the Grammy over Jay-Z’s “AOL 3.0 Blueprint”, Eminem’s “If You Say Pause One More Time, I’m Going to Kill You” and Kanye’s “I’ma Let You Ejaculate.”
When you add it all up, it’s only reasonable to believe that this talented band of bad apples–which includes the gun-toting Nicolas Batum and that guy with the “Steve to the motherfucking Blake” tattoo across his chest–might implode under such heavy expectations. One wouldn’t blame pessimistic fans for pining for the days of the Good Samaritan Blazers, typified by Rasheed Wallace delicately handing out towels to teammates, Ruben Patterson fighting for the legal rights of underpaid, immigrant nannies and the Bonzi Scheme, a triangular, step by step guide of how to properly treat members of the credentialed media.
Alas, it’s a different era in Rip City.
All that noted, isn’t it pretty amazing that Roy Brandon–with his buttery jumper, impressive midrange game, fearless forays to the tin, late-game heroics and teammate-improving intangibles–is still a top ten player in the league?
(For actual analysis on Brandon Roy and this universe’s Portland Trail Blazers, feel free to check out The Oregonian, TrueHoop and BlazersEdge, among others I’m surely forgetting.)
Notes
• Rankings are based solely on projected ‘09-10 performance.
• Contributors to this list include: Jake Appleman, Brett Ballantini, Russ Bengtson, Toney Blare, Shannon Booher, Myles Brown, Franklyn Calle, Gregory Dole, Emry DowningHall, Jonathan Evans, Adam Fleischer, Jeff Fox, Sherman Johnson, Aaron Kaplowitz, John Krolik, Holly MacKenzie, Ryne Nelson, Chris O’Leary, Ben Osborne, Alan Paul, Susan Price, Sam Rubenstein, Khalid Salaam, Kye Stephenson, Adam Sweeney, Vincent Thomas, Tzvi Twersky, Justin Walsh, Joey Whelan, Eric Woodyard, and Nima Zarrabi.
• Want more of the SLAMonline Top 50? Check out the archive.
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durant>>>roy.
2)DURANT >> ROY
3)TOP-10 SG’s in the world coming later…
4)Hisham-hisham-hisham-HISHAM(E)!!!!!!!!!
he is going to own this season
can’t believe people doubt him in the top 10. i’m personally surprised he dropped this low.
probably, though we’ll see when he’s played some meaningful games, which d will and roy both have… ps cute write-up
And for the most part I didn’t understand the rest of your comment which is understandable as English isn’t presumably your 1st language so fair dis. Here’s the thing, I don’t know you nor have aything against you, but you need to chill with with your bias and how overly subjective you are with your comments. Just think, if you were more diplomatic with your comments, Ben/Justin et al may even offer you a writing gig for the site but as things stand there’d be no point, because all we’d get is, -gianis ginapkols is the best PG since Stockton etc etc - just chill ffs!
8. Eva Angelina
7. Ricky Rubio
6. The corpse of Ben Wallace
5. Derrick Rose
4. Kobe
3. Wade
2. LeBron
1. Allen Iverson
I wouldn’t build my team around Brandon. What I mean is that I don’t think the Blazers should structure their entire offense and roster to maximize Brandon Roy’s ability. I don’t think he’s that type of player, plus, he’s a two guard.
But, the Blazers seem intent on surrounding Roy with outstanding talent, now they just need to get him to understand that having that talent means he’s going to have to take fewer shots and touch the ball less. If he buys into that, a big if, when the Blazers will be special. Cause they have some of the best talent in the league, if not the best top to bottom.
Oh and that Greek dude needs to STFU, just too much hating going on. seriously, what is the point? every post you comment on you have something negative to say, you’re relatively new to the boards, and already your opinions are stale and uninteresting
the rankings are simple - 1 to 50, name the best NBA players. it’s so easy!
the point Thype made about tiers yesterday was so true. everyone’s 1-2-3 was LeBron-Kobe-Wade, or something similar… with CP3 and Dwight as 4 and 5.
the rest of the top 10 is more debatable. Roy was consistently around #7 or #8 in the NBA.com Race2MVP column last year, so to say he’s not a top 10 player is, frankly, ridiculous…
I don’t see BRoy as a selfish player and I see him willing to make sacrifices for the betterment of the team. At this point, Roy is nowhere near a ballhog or someone who goes for his outside of a team structure. Brandon is quiet but he is the team leader. He already has outside jumper, a mid-range game, can finish with either hand effectively, can run the offense, can work off picks, and can take his defender off the dribble. If you want an achilles heal, it would be his defense, which he is working on per a request from his coach. So yes, I would build a team around Roy.
That’s really how I see him. A perfect, PERFECT complete to an absolute stud, or the best player on a well-rounded squad. I think Portland is trying to build a well-rounded squad, but I wonder if that can happen given how much Roy dominates the ball. In all the games I watched, he really dominates the rock, and it seemed harder for other players to get their proper touches and their rhythm.
2)You are writting about the possibility “Ben/Justin et al ” offering me a writing gig for the site. This has never been my objective (how could it be…?) and even if it was to happen i would propably have to reject it cause a) i got no such time b)they don’t need me since the guys that are already writing are doing a really good job most of the times (again IMO) c) i would lose all the fun of commenting(and often exagerating) & arguing without any limitations(writing for such a site requires a minimum level of seriousness always). At the same time i said that i “would PROPABLY have to reject” since the honor would be of great size and it would really put me into thoughts…
@sab……..:every body knows i’m stupid (among other things….).If you don’t find something more original to write, then this was your first&last moment of fame.
Back to BROY, I can’t believe he’s ranked below Durant, Durant is my 2nd fav player in the league (#1 Wade, #3 Kobe) but at this point in time he’s not better than BRoy. I’d put Roy just behind Melo in terms of knocking on the door of the elite (Kobe, Wade, Bron). I don’t he’s far off being a complete player, the jumper’s there, the three is there, he can dish it with the best of them, isn’t selfish plus can get to the FT line when needed. In fact, if the way Oden’s been playing preseason is anything to go by then the Blazers could be a major problem to LAL & SAS.
anyway GO JAZZ!!!
However, granted, KD is definitely fragile, but its not hard to put on 20-30 lbs over a summer, especially as a pro athlete with all their nutrionists and fitness coaches. Additionally, I do think KD has the ability and fundamentals to be able to improve on the weaker facets of his game, particularly his defense. But I agree with you, KD does get too much of the credit at OKC, Green is pretty intense, and i rate westbrook very highly too.
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GREEK DUDE, RELAX. I don’t know whether its your Greek-English or yourself, but you seem a bit too voiciferous in your fairly single minded opinions
In response to your comment about numbers.
Mark Twan said there are “Lies, damn lies and statistics.”
82 games played
21.8 points per game (#12 in NBA)
7.6 assists
4.7 rebounds
2.8 steals (3rd in NBA) Warriors record:48-34. 1 game back. Most wins ever for a team that didn’t make the playoffs. Led the highest scoring offense on the most exciting team in the league. Brandon Roy 2007-2008 Stats
74 games played
19.1 Points
5.8 Assists
4.7 Rebounds
1.1 steals game Blazers record: 41-41. Tied for 10th in the west. Led the 3rd lowest scoring team in the league to an “inspiring” and “hopeful” .500 season. Just really not even close. Boom dizzle was robbed, and so were the warriors. Oh and 2nd best SG in the west during 2007???-naw son. Kobe-check. T-Mac-better Ginobli-Better. So maybe 4th. And still-this was for the reserve spot-any guard or forward could be voted in. Didn’t matter about position. David West was one, and Roy was the other.
He is better now-no doubt, but was robbed in 07. that is all
Yeah, I still blog.
NBK
McGrady was actually a pretty good defender when motivated. He typically guarded the best wing player when he was with the Raptors. He started to get lax on defense in Orlando because he was scoring so much.
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