Sunday, April 19th, 2009 at 1:33 am  |  43 responses

Blazers/Rockets Game 1 Recap

The Rose Garden? More like the House of Yao in Game 1

by Adam Sweeney

Everything leading up to Game 1 of the Houston/Portland series led me to believe that the Trail Blazers would hold serve. How wrong was I? Yao Ming was at his best, making visions of Hakeem Olajuwon dance in Rockets fans’ heads on his way to scoring 24 points in 25 minutes on 9-9 shooting. The Trail Blazers? They came out flatter than Gwen Stefani’s chest in a 108-81 loss at home. Even at their best, it would have been hard for the Blazers to match the Rockets’ offense. How many teams shoot 59% overall in a road playoff game?

The Rockets set the tone early thanks to Yao’s first-half scoring. He didn’t take a shot in the second half. Usually that means that the Rockets are doomed. Not anymore. Aaron Brooks picked up where Yao left off with 27 points and 7 assists, and got inside like he was Clive Owen in a Spike Lee joint. Memo to Portland. Do not let the youngster get confident. It will be your undoing.Ming & Brandon

It’s hard to remember a more inauspicious beginning for a home team. The only Blazer that looked comfortable with the pressure was Brandon Roy. Greg Oden showed up against Dikembe Mutombo, scoring 15 points, but it was for the most part inconsequential. The Blazers looked scared. I’m talking Heather from The Blair Witch Project scared. If that continues, you can go ahead and mark the Rockets down for a second round trip. Lord knows it has taken them long enough to get there.

The Rockets’ supporting cast kept the engine running, even increasing the team’s lead to 30 while Yao was out. Luis Scola was quicker to balls off the rim. Ron Artest dropped 17 in spite of his insistence to shoot threes with players draped all over him. We even got entrance into the house of Mutombo again, getting to break out the Denver Nuggets throwback to celebrate the 100-year-old Dikembe Mutombo doing his famous finger wag not once, but twice after blocks.

The loss at the Rose Garden gives home court to the Rockets now, but it doesn’t mean that Portland is out of this. Not by a long shot. The question is whether the young Blazers will be able to shake off a Deebo in Friday style beatdown or if it will suck the wind out of them. The Rockets clearly have the edge in maturity. Mutombo himself has appeared in twice as many playoff games as the entire Blazers roster. But the Rockets are notorious for letting teams back into series. If they weren’t, I wouldn’t have predicted that they’d lose their 7th straight opening round series. It was as good of a beginning to the Playoffs as Yao and Houston could have asked for, but it won’t mean much if they can’t finish the whole thing off.

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  • http://www.hibachi20.blogspot.com Hursty

    Complete destruction. The Rockets outplayed Portland in almost every facet of the game from tip-off.
    Only thing keeping Portland in it early was their 9 offensive rebounds in the first half.

  • http://deceptivelyquick.blogspot.com JackBrown

    Please disregard this post. We decided the game doesn’t really count and would like a re-do. And also for Yao to catch a physically debilitating, but non life threatening, ailment.

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    wow couldn’t you have used an annoying star for the flat chest comparison. Say like the truly overrated Kate Hudson? Gwen? Really. Woman is fine (and seems to be fun too). Injustice! Oh yeah, good win Roquettes!

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    some great nba names in this series: Scolaaaaa, Ruuuudy, Roy, Yao, Landry and “everyone wants to test me” Jean Jaques Wamutombo. I’ll now pay more attention to this matchup, lots to like here.

  • ti-sizz

    The Blazers got murdered by Yao! Next game Yao will probably be fronted a lot harder and get a lot more double teams, we’ll see how it works out against him. It was funny to see the two old men Mutombo and Oden battle it out down low. Oden told me that he was actually the younger man. He won the matchup because he has fresher legs.

  • ti-sizz

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDKQhCgLqxU

    Mutombo has the weirdest cookie monster voice ever.. “Lu-is Sco-la, my friend from Ar-gen-tina”

  • http://www.hibacho20.blogspot.com Hursty

    I’m not making a social commentary here, but Darksaber seems to really stick up for some women and just trash others haha.
    JackBrown- Would you like heads with that order of shrimp redux? Yao will be nice enough to serve up 9 of them for you….

  • http://www.hibacho20.blogspot.com Hursty

    ‘I caught fire in your eyes,
    they fall in line one at a time,
    ready to play,
    I can’t seem them anyway,
    no time to loose,
    we’ve got to move,
    steady that hand,
    I am loosing sight again,
    fire your guns,
    its time to run,
    blow me away,
    after the fall,
    we’ll shake it all,
    blow me away.

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com/ RV

    JVG actually called it, a blowout in game 1….expect the media to still favor portland after this though…also expect the refs to possibly take yao out of it the next game…

  • http://www.hibacho20.blogspot.com Hursty

    Only the strongest will survive
    Lead me to heaven, when we die
    I am the shadow on the wall
    I’ll be the one to save us all
    Only the strongest will survive
    Lead me to heaven, when we die
    I am the shadow on the wall
    I’ll be the one to save us all,
    There’s nothing left
    So save your breath
    Lying in wait
    (Caught inside this tidal wave),
    Your cover’s blown
    No where to go
    Holding your fate
    (Loaded I will walk alone),
    Fire your guns
    It’s time to run
    Blow me away
    (I will stay, in the mess I made),
    After the fall
    We’ll shake it off
    Show me the way.
    ….
    The lyrics sum up the game today pretty well. Yao destroying everyone and the Blazers needing to regroup and ‘shake it off’. But the Rockets know ‘your covers gone’. More connections are obvious, but I won’t ‘spell’ them out to you.
    Adam still seems a teeny weeny bit biased though. Just a little.

  • http://slamonline.com Adam Sweeney

    I think Gwen Stefani is gorgeous, let me make that clear. But the comparison works better, I think, because nobody gives a damn about Kate Hudson. Gwen has some pop culture currency still.

  • http://slamonline.com Adam Sweeney

    @ Hursty
    Everyone has their favorite teams. But that game was as one-sided as they come. What good was there really to say about Portland’s performance besides the play of Roy and Oden? Houston stunned them. They stunned us all, except for Jeff Van Gundy and Yao Ming’s mother, with how dominant they were.

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com/ RV

    Here’s the problem i have with, ” But the Rockets are notorious for letting teams back into series”, do the spurs automatically get contender status because of their history? No. The spurs of this year arents the spurs of old. Neither are these Rockets. The dallas series was just plain inexperience, a big letdown, mistakes, etc. the first utah series was lack of help for yao and tmac, the seconf Utah series, well they were never in control. This year they have more than enough help for yao, it’s a different team, different style, different mentality. I think they proved that tonight..

  • http://idunkonthem.blogspot.com/ albie1kenobi

    didn’t see this coming at all. hoping the rockets can actually sustain for the series.

  • Twinparadox

    Tmac is wondering whether he should be happy or not…

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    hmm, so Adam got on Gwen’s case cause she’s relevant? But he does dig her looks? All is forgiven, carry on sir. Hursty, isn’t that how things work? Love some, hate some. Physicaly lots of hollywood chicks are great to look at but only a select few are truly gorgeous, have that “je ne sais quoi”. Or do you think all girls are equally hot?

  • http://www.twitter.com/TheDiesel Anton

    You guys gotta look to the future – what are the fine honeys with the giant knockers gonna look like when they’re 40? Gravity is a cruel mistress, whereas the flat women will still have some perk left.

  • Calvin

    If God has any sense of humor, the Rockets will make it into the 2nd round w/o T-mac.

  • http://www.hibacho20.blogspot.com Hursty

    All girls have something that makes them beautiful. Whether thats a smile, a poked out tongue, or a more obvious thing such as great hips, or a great, um, chest you’ll know when you see it.
    Its funny to note that most of the physically attractive girls you’ll meet are nowhere near as interesting to talk to at a party or a bar- but most guys don’t know that because a guy takes a person in for 5-30 seconds in and has a judgement (it’s a proven fact btw) on them.
    Oh, and most blokes try and get whatever they can- starting from the best downwards physically haha.
    Anton thats what I’m talking about, a beautiful woman at age 20-35 won’t always look like that.
    All girls have something that makes them attractive, and people know intrinsically whether they like it or not. Nothing you can really do about it.

  • http://www.hibacho20.blogspot.com Hursty

    Um… Oden got destroyed almost the whole game btw. He got more than half of his points in the second half against a 42 year old. But I guess when you’re scoring against a guy half your age in Odens case thats a fair achievement.

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    hmm, i can agree with most of your take on da ladies Hursty. (except for the taking what you can get part, no thanks.. Desperation is not my style, then i’d rather move on). Interesting points though, so what did you take exception to earlier about me defending/trashing certain celebrity chicks?

  • http://www.hibacho20.blogspot.com Hursty

    Nothing really, I just meant that you seem to ( on the post up mostly) defend girls you like rather vehemently and just throw salt all over others… I seem to recall you luuuving Tony Longoria Parker haha.
    I wouldn’t say I took exception, but more made an observation? That sounds about right.
    …
    Think about what I’m talking about though re. take what you can get-
    A guy is usually so bloody shocked that a woman would ‘go’ with him that he’s not exactly going to say no to a reasonably attractive girl. Unless he has his eye specifically on another girl in the room haha.

  • http://www.hibacho20.blogspot.com Hursty

    *that should probably read Eva, but whatever.
    I get what you mean about desperation though.

  • Dave

    Obviously the result of this match up matters just enough to occupy half the posts on this thread…

  • http://nicekicks.com MeloMan13

    if the Rockets get out of the 1st round, does T-mac act as if he helped them do so?

  • http://deceptivelyquick.blogspot.com JackBrown

    Hursty- At least we didn’t get Waferd. Kind of surprising, really.

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    Who is this “T-Mac” you all speak of? Some scottish relative to a Rockets player?

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    The Hurst-Man is an astute observer of interhuman relations. Good reading ya, Hursty.

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  • Michael

    I said before the series started that the matchups were awful for the Blazers.

  • reptdot

    at least Oden won the battle of 40 year olds

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    LET’S GO ROCKETS!

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    YAO DA GE!

  • vmcb

    The Gwen Stefani comment was ice cold! This was hard for me to watch, though. Yao was unstoppable. I thought Ghostface and Oden could play defense? Houston looked to be swarming Portland on the defensive end and never let up. I’m just hoping the poor showing was partly due to game-one jitters!

  • that dude

    I don’t find Gwen Stefani attractive at all

  • http://www.Slamonline.com Adam Sweeney

    If anyone was offended by the Gwen comment, I apologize. It was just meant to show how poorly Portland played, not to say Gwen is in any way lacking, as if breast size indicates beauty any way. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and Gwen is one of the most attractive, in my opinion.

    @RV
    It is a new season this year for the Rockets, yes, but there is a stigma attached to them. They haven’t made it to the second round in what seems like forever. If you think things like that don’t weigh on you, go ask the Boston Red Sox teams before 2004 or the Chicago Cubs of last season what that’s like. It matters. But Houston did a great job starting this series off.

  • http://www.hibacho20.blogspot.com Hursty

    No worries Adam, I actually thought it was pretty funny.
    lol @ Darksaber. Appreciated.

  • Nashty

    I hope they let Tmac play once they get to the 2nd round……

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    sorry for putting the emphasis on your Gwen line, Adam. seem to have opened pandora’s box in the comments by doing that. I applogize, and i truly did enjoy reading your recap.

  • http://www.citysz.net.cn/ salmon

    Rocket is so unbreakable! I love Yao.How is Portland?

  • Phil B

    hmm… speaking of girls and the blazers. the blazers are my favourite team. watching them get blown out like this (especially in the playoffs) would usually send me into a massive depression. however, this time, my first daughter was born the day before and we watched the game together… (aka I watched the game from my wife’s hospital room while holding my girl). i guess “watching the game” in incorrect as i spent more time watching my baby than the game. hard to get depressed when holding your first child. puts things into perspective. still… go blazers!! i’ll be there on tuesday to cheer them on!

  • chintao

    Damn. Looks like I accidentally walked-in on Darksaber chairing a meeting of the Itty-bitty Titty (Appreciation) Committee.

  • http://indianz.com R3Z

    If Game 2 is on the FS then I’ll watch, but my b!tc#@$$ cable provider doesn’t carry NBATV!!! I got screwed on the league pass, because I didn’t catch every game (esspecially NBATV game of the week), and NO GAMES in HD!!! I got the pass for the Blazer games, and didn’t even get a reach around. Now more of the same in the PLAYOFFS! What happen to the days when you got what you paid for. Depressing!!

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