Um… actually, let’s completely reverse that for no reason. Rajon as d’Artagnan.
Line Of The Night:
Stephon Marbury — 8 points, 2 assists, 1 steal, 1 board
As if the Paul Peezy/K.G.-led Ceatles were not already fully backed by L.O.N., now they have an apparently motivated Starbury? It is on now. This is the final push they needed for us to fully back their Playoff campaign again this year. Sorry, LeBron. We will admit, however, the whole “3″ logo on his head is extremely awkward, at this point.
Starbury looked rusty for sure, but showed signs of his old self. And while it is an easy joke to make, he legitimately looked like he was having problems with his shoes and/or footing. Maybe he needs to at least step it up to the $34.99 Al Harrington Protege joints?
Worst Of The Night:
Chicago Bulls — 23 point loss (113-90) to the Wiz with President Obama courtside
You are better than that, Chicago. Word to Mark Jackson. After meeting the President, who claims y’all as his favorite squad, and having him attend your game against the worst team in your conference? Awful. How awesome is the Obama part of this whole scenario, though? Just imagine a L.O.N. logo with the Obama “O”, right now. We like the direction of this administration already.
Beast Of The Night:
Al Horford — 22 boards, 21 points, 1 assist, 1 block
It has been a relatively quiet — or at least under the radar — season for Horford thus far. After getting a lot of pub last year for being the dark horse R.O.Y. candidate, his understated game has slid into the shadows this year. But not last night. Although Miami’s position is far from the secure, this is a possible preview of the 4-5 first round playoff match up in the East. It would be interesting to see if the Hawks’ team dynamic could out match the one Wade show in M-I-Yayo.
Distribution Center Of The Night:
Chris Paul — 20 assists, 9 points, 7 boards
A ridiculous night for Paul, but the real story was the Hornets completely blowing a 17-point lead with 4 minutes remaining, only to have Tyson Chandler make an amazing putback tip in the final seconds to secure the win. There is some sort of mind-bending symmetry there, given the rescinded trade situation. Don’t expect us to put it into words though.
Contraction Club Of The Night:
Los Angeles Lakers — 79 points vs. the Denver Nuggets
Sorry, give us the words “bad”, “Kobe Bryant”, and “Denver, and we only can think of one thing. Go ahead, Google those 3 phrases, we’re not the only ones. Then we start thinking Michael Vick and Charles Grant and hypocrisy and all types of thoughts that will ruin our Friday night if we expound. So just go ahead and contract the Lakers and everything will be solved. Thanks.
Near Beast Of The Night:
Lamar Odom — 19 boards, 12 points, 1 assist
Not as impressive as usual, considering the Lakers shot 29%!!!!! Wow.
Shaqtastically Shaquisite Of The Night:
Shaqtus — 45 points, 11 boards, 3 steals, 2 assists, 1 block
Fun. Smiles. Joy. Keep getting your Shaq on, Shaq. Keep it Shaqqy. The world is a better place with a Shaq like this.
With a talented team, it seems too easy to run up regular season wins using the patented D’Antoni style. Doesn’t it make more sense to rack up those wins, get homecourt advantage, and roll the dice in the Playoffs, despite the forced change in style? In retrospect, it seems crazier and crazier that the Suns broke up the nucleus. If it was financial based, that is a whole other topic, but if it was a purely basketball decision, it was purely idiotic.
???? Of The Night:
Raymond Felton — 26 points, 9 assists, 4 steals, 3 boards, 1 block
Tough. Gritty. A winner. You might raise your eyebrows at the last descriptor, given his career 
record, but that’s how we would describe Felton. Is he the best shooter in the world? Not at all. The best playmaker? No way. Is his game smooth or pleasing to the eye? Definitely not. But do you want him on your team, “in the trenches” as they say? Every. Single. Day.
The Bobcats took down a tough road win in the town where Oscar Grant’s ghost lingers, longing for justice, but not without making it interesting. With the score tied, shot clock turned off and G-State in the bonus, Stephen Jackson took the inbounds pass and was immediately fouled intentionally by Boris Diaw?!?!?! Somehow, Larry Brown kept his composure as Captain Jack hit both free throws. But Diaw made it look like all part of the master plan. Felton drove, kicked to Raja Bell, who swung it to Diaw for 3… splash. Charlotte threw the ensuing inbounds pass directly out-of-bounds and it was almost a wrap, but not before infamous ref Bennett Salvatore made it a little more interesting by first declaring the pass had been deflected, before completely reversing field, with no consultation, and saying it was not deflected. Guess he wanted to make that reservation after all. And this was after one of his ref buds made a similar reversal a few plays back! Another wild one in the Bay.
What’s that buzz you hear? It is Detroit talk radio going nuts: “Rip starts and we win! Blah blah Iverson blah blah blah”… Coincidence that Rajon Rondo produced 17 assists during Marbury’s first game with the team?… Larry Hughes drops 25 in his best game thus far as a Knick. FREE LARRY HUGHES!!!!… Russell Westbrook or Avon Barksdale?… Pops Mensah-Bonsu. Consider that a warning… Kid Cudi or Heartbreak Drake? Pick your side now. The Revolution is not kind to bystanders…
Read the SLAMonline Discussion Rules before posting.