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Monday, September 14th, 2009 at 2:36 pm  |  83 responses

Review: The 2009 MTV VMAs

Yeezy don’t want it with Omar!

by Omar Mazariego

I’ma keep it real, I’m not gonna sit here and review the VMA’s award for award or performance for performance. I’m just gonna comment on the things that really stood out to me and had me smiling, laughing or just bugging out, na’mean?

• The Michael Jackson tribute was cool, but I was expecting some next level ish. The way they hyped it up, I was expecting them to have someone moonwalk on the moon for real or feed Joe Jackson to an army of hungry rats to honor the memory of Mike and Ben at the same time or something. Madonna’s “eulogy” for the King of Pop was cute, but really sounded like more of a compare/contrast of their lives and careers. I don’t care that they were both born in August in the suburbs and she didn’t have a mama and he didn’t have a childhood — why are you talking about you when you should be talking about Mike? The tribute itself with all the dancers dressed down in different signature MJ gear was pretty dope.  Dancing to “Thriller” and “Smooth Criminal,” they really held it down. And when Janet stormed out with her thick and sexy self, she blew up the spot. Janet can still get it…with that leather suit on. S&M status! Nah, chill, son.

• Come on, again with Russell Brand?? How was he not gunned down after the Vegas VMA’s? Tupac gets shot out there, but Russell Brand is allowed to make it to the airport?? Where are our morals as a society? (Kidding!)

• Real talk, Beyonce got ripped off. She definitely had the best female video. But when did Kanye West inherit the spirit of Old Dirty Bastard? Rushing the stage and just spoiling Taylor Swift’s moment? Bogarting shorty’s mic time and saying, “Beyonce had one of the best video’s of all time.” OK, given, she did, just because every time I see “Singles Ladies” I get as hard as Ma$e when he’s around 50 Cent, but let that little country girl have her time in the spotlight. God knows Beyonce is more relevant and is gonna be around a lot longer than she is. Let’s see Kanye pull something like that on Heather B or Remy Martin had they won it. yeezyswiftThey would’ve labeled that “Flashing Lights” video a premonition, and there wouldn’t been nothing left of Amber Rose but a petal or two. And you know it’s wack when Russell Brand is trying to squash beef between Kanye and Taylor Swift. But then again, judging from Kanye’s recent albums and wifey choice, it makes sense.

He should’ve kept it hood and bum rushed her for that mic during her performance in the subway. She would’ve jumped right on the third rail just to end it all as quickly as possible. I like Kanye West, but that move was as ridiculous as Lady Gaga’s red outfit and mask. Who is she? Dead Pool?

• I can’t stand Jack Black even as an animated Panda. He’s the biggest cornball since John Leguizamo during his “Pest” days. Green Day winning Best Rock Video really means nothing to me. It was probably a classic to that genre like “Warning” was to hip-hop, but I wouldn’t know. So it’s whatever to me. Same goes for Lady Gaga, who reminds me of Macaulay Culkin in Monster. (Yes I saw that movie. Fez, you played yourself in it.) She was doing her thing on stage, but once the blood came into play — I don’t know if that like was a gang sign to the gay community, like Papoose did when he performed at Rikers Island, but I wasn’t ready for that.

• The Tracy Morgan sketches with Eminem was hella funny. But Eminem really seems to be uncomfortable in his own skin at this point in his life.

• Wale’s performances in between awards was dope on MTV’s part, to let a real MC do his thing on prominent commercial stage. Even though they didn’t let him rock on TV so they could get that commercial money, heads in the audience got put on to game. So that was good looks.

• Megan Fox is hot to death, but she’s a bird. Shakira needs to be pregnant with my baby.

• Who the hell did Britney bust to win best pop video? Her song and video were as wack as they come.

• That black chick kissing Asher Roth during the best new artist vote was fantastic! But the Communist-looking Statue of Liberty won. And I’m glad Drake didn’t win best new artist. He’s crazy overrated. He’s alright, but he’s not changing the game dramatically. He’s just adding another layer to the current state that it’s in: mediocre.

• And why would you have Pink close it out? She hasn’t been relevant since she was a hazard to herself.

• Finally the Jigga performance with the Homewrecker was cool, and yes, she is still one of the sexiest women on the face of the earth, but why did Lil’ Mama join them on stage? Jay’s going soft. Letting T-Pain jump on his Summer Jam stage and now Lil Mama — son, what’s hood? That was Lil’ Mama, right? I haven’t seen her since “Lip Gloss” so I could be mistaken.

All in all, the Awards themselves were a sham — Beyonce winning VOTY and T.I. winning BMV were the only valid awards. The performances weren’t mind blowing, but overall it was more entertaining then it’s been in recent years. But please, whoever’s up there at MTV listening, never bring back Russell Brand.

Bring back Chris Rock.

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  • http://www.slamonline.com Myles Brown

    Ye was posing with a bottle of Henny all night. Seems staged to me. Just like when the Bruno/Eminem thing happened last year. Its sad that even spontaneity is fake these days.

  • http://slamonline.com Ben Osborne

    I couldn’t be happier that this will be the extent of my VMA reading for 2009. Nice work as always, O.

  • O

    Good lookin, B. And Myles, that’s the kind of promotion Henney DOESN’T want. A black dude making a white girl cry on national TV.

  • Whateva

    “little country girl”? Kanye’s only up to her chin FFS

  • http://Www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    Before i go to sleep, i gotta say this: thank the lord for O. I laughed through most of this (as usual). My irritation at “Ye” just dissipated there. the Mase, Shakira & Kanye lines were great. (when did Alicia get the homewrecker rep though? What happened?). I’ll be back…

  • http://www.sprint.com/sero dma

    Any publicity is good publicity right ‘Ye? Don’t get why you’re hating on the Pink performance. It was pretty cool to see ANY celebrity do that live, granted there were a bunch of ropes and wires, but it was ballsy. Bring back Chris Rock! Hell, take an even bigger move and bring Dave Chappelle next year.

  • O

    Saber, Alicia broke up Swizz Beatz marriage apparently. That’s what his ex-wife is sayin’ anyway…

  • http://dillanleuyahoo.com Holy Baller

    Uh pretty sure Taylor Swift’s video was the best. I mean I have no problem with Beyonce, but Taylor Swift won for a reason. Kanye is a d!ck for what he did.

  • http://www.slamonline.com James the balla

    O man. Slick write up. You seem up on your hip hop. I won’t lie. And I am glad you find Drake overrated as well. I would like to see a questionaire done asking you about hip hop. See an interview. Favorite hip hop group, artist, live performace, old school artist.

  • http://slamonline.com/ Tzvi Twersky

    spirit of ODB: You must have meant ODB’s spirits, cause he musta been hella high or drunk.

  • izzo

    America, you produce Dane Cook, you have to learn to live with the consequences, namely Russell Brand.

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Eboy

    “And I’m glad Drake didn’t win best new artist. He’s crazy overrated. He’s alright, but he’s not changing the game dramatically. He’s just adding another layer to the current state that it’s in: mediocre.” Repeat, repeat, repeat,repeat,repeat,repeat……………..

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Eboy

    ……….’cause that sh*t’s true as f*ck.

  • http://www.slamonline.com James the balla

    Co-sign Eboy.

  • KanyeWTF

    Yo, that dude’s an A$$hole. Did u see how Taylor Swift looked like she wanted to cry! smh I seen the video @ http://bit.ly/vmas09 I mean, Beyonce is good, but manners is better, lol. Check that vid out!

  • O

    Dane Cook and Russell Brand, imagine they had a kid together?

  • CAKEY

    LMAO! ok sooo I know Kanye was out of pocket but damn he only said what everyone was thinking!
    oh yeezy when will you learn to STFU?!!! Him and I both have that problem so I can relate

    Alicia Keys is a total homewrecker…there just has to be something wrong with a woman who cant find her own man!

    And na son! lil mama just popped up on stage like the little troll that she is!
    Jay was not aware that was going to happen! didnt u see his face like WTF is going on!!!!

    ick…these award shows are getting so wack

  • izzo

    Look I’m just going to admit before I say this, that I may be going too far but, if someone were to…say…release some sort of deadly poisonous gas during the VMAs would it have been THAT bad of a thing? I’m not condoning murder or anything but a world without Lady GaGa is a world worth dreaming of. Think of the sh*tty music and horrible celebrities we’d be spared.(This comment may be grounds for banning, Im okay with it)

  • http://www.slamonline.com James the balla

    Dane Cook is way worse the Brand!! Even though he is bad. I am tired of Cook even being on TV because he makes 12 year old girls, panties drop.

  • http://www.slamonline.com James the balla

    If they had a kid it would be like a black beetlejuiver except taller, and talks with an accent!!

  • DDB

    Pink’s performance was real tough. I don’t care about her either way but that was wild to see a celebrity up there singing while doing that.

    Kanye is a sucker. He’s soft as they come. Here is how he responds to a man….how soon we forget the real Kanye: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-zV6jor4Pc

  • TADOne

    I’m glad football was on so I was spared this sh*t.

  • http://slamonline.com/ niQ

    All I got to say is I lost a lot of respect for Kanye. I don’t even really know Taylor Swift (other than her overplayed radio exposure) but what he did constitutes him as a bag of douche.

  • Mike

    Who wrote this nonsense? seriously, this is embarrassingly bad, even for slam.

  • Mike

    Lil’ Mama was not supposed to be on stage. She just came on. She is a moron. But she won second fiddle to Kanye. He is the biggest moron of them all. I don’t care who you are, have some respect you loser. I have 3 Kayne albums and none of Taylor Swifts. None of that matters, I hope his career is over now.

  • Diesel

    Kanye is a disgrace to all human beings. Someone needs to rebrake that fool’s jaw and shut him the hell up. Were those crop circles in his hair?

  • memphisbound

    kanye west is as fake as they come. look, the man has some dope albums, and is (inarguably) a ridiculous producer. but, get it outta here with that. that girl seems as sweet as can be and there is no way you can justify what he did. he’s a publicity whore and a publicists nightmare. he is quickly turning into an old joke.

    also, i guarantee you he embarrassed the hell out of both beyonce and jay-z. there was no need for all that. also, his girl looks like the first child born into the x-men fam. professor x and storm, anyone?

  • riggs

    alicia keys is not a homewrecker, swizz and mashonda had no relationship but a marriage certificate when they got together, dont know why mashonda is doing a complete 180 nowadays

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    Nice job, O.
    If you think the VMAs are bad, try the contemporary Grammys.
    Lil’ Wayne, Jay-Z, Kanye West, and T.I. featuring each other and/or T-Pain pretty much win every hip hop award, no matter how mediocre or crappy their stupid dancepop only-for-ringtone songs are. Its a joke.

  • O

    If it’s true what Riggs said then I take back the homewrecker remark. And yeah Teddy, those “real” award shows are horrible. Tho last years Oscars was entertaining. Ben Stiller imitating J. Phoenix was classic…

  • that dude

    Maaaannn….. I am/was a big Kanye fan… when he first came out he was so fresh and different. He was an underdog. But now… what kind of people does he have around him? How the hell is he so out of touch with reality? It’s the cotdamn VMAs! They ain’t curing cancer! Who gives a flying f*ck who wins what!?!?!

  • Kevin

    I been saying for the longest that Lil Mama is a man.

  • http://myspace.com/showbread Bryan

    Kanye West is a Pr*ck. ANd I don’t like beyonce OAR taylor swift but how can make the call as to who is more relavant? Don’t you think that Taylor Swift is just as relevant to her genre and fanbase as beyonce is? ANd really who gives a f*ck? Also aren’t the vma’s decided by fan voting or something? So how really can anyone get ripped off?

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    Mos def, O! Yeah I generally like the Oscars more than the other award shows, even though the Oscars still tend to shaft a lot of deserving movies.
    The Emmys are okay, but how can you lend credibility to the highest television awards when The Wire was nominated only once, and never won a single one.
    Stiller is hilarious. Have you reviewed Tropic Thunder?

  • http://www.slamonline.com James the balla

    Black Star!!

  • cecil

    lil mama looks like Bow Wow, or vise versa, or a strange hermaphrodite produced by Bow Wow with Ciara. for serious

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ Tariq

    I defy anyone to name the winner of last year’s VMA for video of the year without looking it up.

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ Tariq

    Point being: this is a crock of sh*t. Besides, I’m pretty sure Wale is a thousand times more artistically relevant than whatever misfit MTV decided to name “Best Rap Artist”. I bet New Kids on the Block have won like 24 VMAs.

  • http://www.digitalthread.com AlbertBarr

    Kanye may have been a d!ck…but he was right.

  • hangtime Hec

    Award shows are stupid anyways. Since when have opinions become fact?

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ Tariq

    AlbertBarr:
    Actually, he WASN’T right. Beyonce didn’t make one of the best videos of all time. Unless your criteria for judging videos is “How hard can this video make Omar?” But I wouldn’t say that Beyonce’s “Single Girls” or whatever the f*ck it’s called is on par with Michael Jackson’s Thriller. That was a groundbreaking video. But this is a moot point anyway, because videos are obsolete. Which renders the VMAs doubly so.

  • O

    Tariq is right, i’m basing the greatness of this video on how sexy it is. NO WAY is it on a Thriller level or Warning or even Stan, but it was one of thee sexiest videos of all time.

  • http://Www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    I stated this as well on Twitter when the outrage began, Single ladies is by no means a top video of all time, Kanye must have been inhaling the Henney he was carrying around. MJ had at least 5 of the best Vids of all time, Sledgehammer from Peter Gabriel, here we go from Ok Go, yeah from Usher, Janet has a few, Nirvana, and on it goes. hell even Baby Boy & Deja Vu from B herself are on par in terms of drawing wood (ha!). The Ye himself has had fantastic videos that are better than Single ladies (a fact he also proclaimed at an earlier VMA), and there a hundreds more. So as well as being hurtful, Kanye’s comments were also baseless nonsense! Bravo, Ye. Now stay outta the spotlight till Dezember.

  • http://Www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    O, my candidate for hottest music video: La Tortura, from the incomparable Shakira. A-ma-zing.

  • O

    Shakira is a Latina goddess, period. But yeah, that Tortura was hella sexy, but I don’t think it was the hottest/sexiest of all time. And I hope the Usher video you talkin’ about isn’t “Nice & Slow” where he karate kicked kidnappers and sh*t. That was as corny as they came. Dope song, half-assed video.

  • http://slamonline.com Sam Rubenstein

    Ha! Yes Omar! Lady Gaga… terrifying. Stay off my “disco stick”
    Kanye’s a great guy, just ask him.

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ Tariq

    Darksaber:
    Good call on Peter Gabriel. That dude had some amazing videos in the 80s. I disagree with you on “Yeah” though. That wasn’t anything special. Nice track, but I remember the video was just those dudes (Usher, Lil Jon and Luda)standing around in a club right? With Usher breaking out a few MJ dance moves. Meh.

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    Tariq & Omar: i admit to being a SERIOUS fan of synchronized choreography, hence my mentioning of Usher’s “Yeah”. Plus i loved the lighting and overall feel of the Video, but you are probably right, it’s not amongst the greatest Vids. That would be like saying “baby got back” or “put em on a glass” are masterpieces. (which they damn well were to me when i was a youngster..hahaha)

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    O: i beg you to search for footage of Beyoncé’s Single Ladies live performance at SNL (not the parody with JT, the real deal), from last season. You thought the video was hot, check out the energy, the flying hair and the perfection of her dancing in that clip, it is impossibly good… i kid you not.

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    Ah, this has me reminiscing. Ok, here are some of the music Vids that i have enjoyed thoroughly over the years (not saying they are the greatest, mmkay?)

    From MJ: Remember the time, Smooth Criminal, Bad, Thriller and on it goes
    Usher: U don’t have to call (LOVE that) and Yeah
    Janet: That’s the way love goes (bonus, J-Lo’s in it. whatever happened to native american neckwear, me like)
    Britney: Slave for you (really, i have to explain?)
    Beyoncé: Baby Boy, Me myself & i (stunning) and Get me bodied (watch the long version and try NOT to dance along… i dare you)
    Chilli Peppers: Give it away
    Peter Fox: alles neu (Germany, represent)
    Jay: i just wanna luv ya & 99 problems (raw)
    Ye: Golddigger (now THAT’s how you use colours)
    J-Lo: Feeling so good (that video makes me gooey inside)
    George Michael: Freedom (Linda Evangelista, Tatjiana Patitz, Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell…all in their prime. need i say more?)
    Wow, i could go on forever….

  • O

    WOW, you really could go on forever. LOLOL. You’re a savage, Saber, i will say that.

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    Normally being called a “savage” would anger me, but from O, tis a high praise indeed.

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ Tariq

    Yo O, tell me how Myriam Faris ranks on your “artistic” criteria. Youtube.

  • this is me this is who i’ve been i’m alwys gonna be

    just becuz beyonce is in dancen have naked that makes her better then everyone else i don’t thiiink so i’ve seend finer with a capital F people of america voted & “guess what” reality check it wasn’t her & kanye west “really” why don’t you make like micheal and beat it

  • http://www.twitter.com/mansonovic Mansonovic

    Any coversation on best videos that doesn’t include “Take On Me” by A-ha is a sham.

  • Mirriam

    Why is Alicia Keys a home wrecker? Help I really need to know!

  • http://www.another48minutes.blogspot.com Gerard Himself

    About “Single Ladies”, sure Beyonce looks hot, but it’s a boring video. You watch someone dancing and shaking it, but that doesn’t make a good video. Boring! Couldn’t care less about the VMA’s anyway. You never see any good videos in there most of the time, sadly enough.

  • Yesse

    What the F*CK, was Kanye thinking on ruining a good moment?

  • http://stapledesign.com Spaceship Jay

    Gerard, no offense; seriously, but…. You do like women, right?

  • http://www.another48minutes.blogspot.com Gerard Himself

    hahaha yes Spaceship Jay. And the video was, for the lack of a better term, hot. I won’t change the channel if I see it, don’t get me wrong! But a good video? Nah. When you look at older videos like Jay-Z’s 99 Problems, or “Tonight Tonight” by the Smashing Pumpkins, Spike Jonze’s videos, Michel Gondry’s work, that’s what I’m talking about.

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com DP

    Ye shouldn’t have spoiled the chicks party but he was right aobut the video. I just wish he would have expressed his opinion about that in an interview or something. Saw him on Jay leno last night and his apology seemed legit. I really believe the guy hasn’t really mourned the death of his mother because he is trying to work 24/7 to keep his mind busy. I thought he was going to break down when Jay asked what would his mother feel about what he did sunday night. play wit it.

  • ENDS

    Russel was not funny last year So what does MTV Do? they Bring Him Back for round 2…smh

    Janet should have done billie Jean and Moonwalked

  • Riggs

    yo O’ no disrespect and ima let you get back to your review but that beyonce video was the hottest video out this year. *shrugs*

  • ENDS

    Plus Damn! Lady gaga’s Performance Scared the crap out of me, a grown Man. So I could imagine countless little Kids who could not sleep that night thinking Gaga was coming to get them. My wife saw the encore and she bugged the hell out too. So glad my Daughter was sleeping we have baned her from all gaga music.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Wayno

    This guy is such a tool…anyone remember his Hurricane Katrina rant?

  • http://Www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    Haha, that sounded great, ENDS. “banned from all gaga music”. Fantastic way to phrase it

  • edmalhas

    Howard Stern resumed Kanye really good: talentless!! And now-a-days where can you see music videos?!

  • O

    Tariq, I’ll check out that vid in a sec and comment later. Riggs, B’s video was hot to death, but I don’t know if that’s my perv side talking. I’m not up on Lady Gaga at all, but that blood performance really disturbed me. And I’ve seen dudes get their faces ripped wide open with a banger, but I wasn’t ready for that. Kanye’s apology really seemed sincere, but you can’t undo the past. I was riding with him when he shocked the world with the Katrina statement tho. Who wasn’t?

  • http://coco-vents.blogspot.com Co Co

    To say Single Ladies was one of the best videos of all time after having just watched footage of Thriller and Smooth Criminal is the most egregious thing Kanye has done in a while. It’s a cute video, but one of the best ever……um no. Heck, it’s probably not even Beyonce’s best video ever.

  • O

    Uh oh. New argument in the air: Beyonce’s greatest video. That’s actually pretty hard. They were all pretty on point with what the song was about.

  • O

    Damn, Obama called Kanye a jackass. That’s next level…

  • http://www.slamonline.com Wayno

    One of the first times in awhile I’ve actually agreed with the President about something…

  • http://www.vacationrentalsad.com stacey jones

    I love kanye but he gotta chance his ways about himself.

  • http://toronto.com Mr.416

    Im Readng all these comments and I’m thing none of these guys have ever done anything dumb when they were drunk…..i mean he had one hand on amber’s @ss and the other one around a bottle of hennesey. OF COURSE something was going to happen.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Wayno

    yeah 416…he’s still a tool…it’s one thing to do something dumb while drunk, it’s another thing to do something dumb while drunk in front of millions of audience members/viewers.

  • vic21

    I hate jack Black, I agree Omar.
    About the Kanye thing I’m pretty sure it was staged. Megan Fox Hot agreed, Shakira hot agreed

  • O

    Vic21, Thank you! I thought everyone overlooked everything else I wrote…

  • O

    Vic21, Thank you! I thought everyone overlooked everything else I wrote. I don’t think that was staged tho. Dude is makin the rounds apologizing and Taylor went on the view and all that.

  • http:///realcavsfans.com Anton

    Amber Rose for the win

  • hillbilly

    MTV lost its last shred of cultural relevancy a long time ago. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if the whole Kanye vs. Taylor Swift thing turned out to be just another publicity stunt a la Eminem/Bruno.

  • BostonBaller

    Who is the bigger AnalCirlce. kanye west or jack black? Nod to west but not by much. what was that whole pray to satan thing? anything to get attn and sell a game i guess…

  • http://www.glorifiedmusic.com K. Lee

    wait. MTV shows music videos???

  • http:///realcavsfans.com Anton

    Kanye’s mother must be proud. Oh, wait…

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