Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010 at 2:20 pm  |  23 responses

Because Steve Nash Likes It

An insider’s look at the comings and goings of the World Cup.

JUNE 17, 2010: Dead-fished by Jurgen Klinsmann and Middle East Peace-Making

Back in Cape Town, there was a noticeable dampening of the city’s still irrepressible cheer following Bafana’s disheartening loss to Uruguay. The friendliness and hospitality of the locals was undiminished, but there was a certain sadness floating about with their hopes for a miracle run now all but vanished. It will be interesting to see who the locals really get behind if the home team does indeed fall out in the group stage as is expected.

Last I was in CT, we were finishing up some last minute preparations at the stadium the afternoon before the tournament’s launch when a group of four sharp-dressed middle-aged men emerged from the north-western tunnel. At their lead was a wiry blond fella with a mischievous grin on his face, standing somewhere around 6-2 and fully credentialed by FIFA. He had a quiet swag to him and clear command of his small entourage.

There was a ball lying idly off the pitch, and he immediately made a bee-line for it with the kind of tunnel vision privileged solely to those under twelve years old. It was an amusing and interesting sight. Sports are one of the only forces that can inspire a regression in to youthful innocence amongst even hardest of men. Anyway, upoJurgen Klinsmannn fetching it, he ran on to the pitch with a skillfulness and grace that started the gears turning in my brain…that dude moves like an athlete. I had a similar feeling when I unknowingly had a kick-around with Korea’s all-time leading scorer inside the International Broadcast Center at the 2006 World Cup. For both guys, I could see an essential comfort with the ball. Anyway, as the staff reacted in horror to this invasion of the perfectly manicured grounds, I approached a little closer to see that it was none other than resident Californian/German legend Jurgen Klinsmann.

Now, most the guys managing the pitches are somewhat new to soccer, major rugby supporters in the grand majority. Soccer has always been something of a black sport in South Africa, while rugby and Springbok National Team continue to represent one of the firmest and most persistent bastions of white culture in the country. As is such, the crew on hand neither recognized the infiltrator nor cared about his immense stature within the history of the sport. I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself as they quickly chased Klinsmann down and unceremoniously tossed him from the field without any of the typical deference and ceremony I am sure the German is accustomed to. With a look of bemusement and disdain they explained the sanctity of the pitch, no doubt a little ticked off at the foolhardy behavior.

Alas, Klinsmann was a good sport and merely giggled and obeyed, commenting with a playful grin and accent somewhat reminiscent of the brilliant Christoph Waltz from Inglorious Basterds, ‘OK guys, pitch is good to go. Feel free to start the matches.’

Walking passed me as he exited, I reached out a hand and said, ‘Hey, how are you Mr. Klinsmann?’ All I got was a dead fish and avoidance of eye contact. Dick. I later informed the folks at the stadium of the wonderful anecdote they would now be able to tell people, that they had chucked a World Cup champion off their field without batting an eye. They weren’t all that enthused at the possibility.

I’ll need to have a word with the Governator about revoking Klinsmann’s residency privileges after he big-timed me as he did.

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  • http://slamonline.com Ben Osborne

    So thorough, Colin. It is awesome that you are there…thanks for all these timely words.

  • http://www.sonicbids.com doyouwantmore

    Soccer is boring. I don’t care how trendy or worldly or sophisticated it would make me to pretend I like it, and I don’t care that I might like it if I attempt to understand the intricacies and tactics the athletes and coaches use. They hardly ever score. They flop like crazy. It’s boring.

  • http://www.sonicbids.com doyouwantmore

    Now I feel like a jerk because I could have kept that to myself. Sorry for peeing on the good vibes contained within the above article.

  • http://www.twitter.com/gerardhimself Gerard Himself

    “They flop like crazy. It’s boring.” have you seen an NBA game in the last 5 years?

  • The Fresh Prince of Nsam

    @ doyouwantmore: I feel the exact same thing about Baseball (BORING!!!) So don’t be sorry. It’s cultural. But I’ve met some Americans here in London who like football thaugh, plus Team USA is a descent one, they made the last 16 as Number 1 of their group, while my team Cameroon (where football is the 1st religion) was the 1st country outta the tourmament. What a shame. Go Ghana, Beat USA!

  • mAMba

    Great read

  • Jake

    Soccer is actually pretty interesting if you take the time to get involved with it.It’s much more fun to watch and is a lot easier to appreciate if you actually play the sport too instead of watching.For me that is the only way you are able to understand the game!

  • deano

    soccer is dope. Don’t think so?? watch Ronaldinho highlight on youtube….you’ll instantly become a football fan

  • Elias

    Soccer is cool, but it’s usually boring as hell, I know what I’m talking about, I live in Europe and I’ve watched alot of high level football like the world cup, champions league or La Liga, and they never score, I watched like 4 hours of wolrd cup until they scored and I was at the fridge that time, and then it took like another 4 hours until somebody scored again, and they flop much more than people do in basketball.

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ Tariqُُ

    Out of the four names, you’ve got 3 possibilities:

    1- Magic is the only basketball player among four soccer players.
    2- Dooley is the only average player among three all-time greats.
    3- You actually mean Steve Zissou and not Zizou, so this Wes Anderson character would be the odd man out among three professional athletes.

    Dollar, please!

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ Tariqُُ

    Soccer can be boring, but it can also be exhilarating.
    Uruguay v France = boring.
    Brazil v Cote d’Ivoire = pretty good.
    Germany v Italy at the last WC = classic.

  • hoodsnake

    I loved it when we smashed France. Long Street was up all night after that win although we got knocked out.

  • http://www,myczechrepublic.com SAB

    thanks Colin, awesome article, sounds like you’re really taking advantage of a fantastic opportunity. great critique of the English fans/media/team too… it’s a strange strange situation. England-Germany on Sunday should be a fantastic match.

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com/ Moose

    Guys, soccer can seem boring to somebody who doesn’t know it well the same way baseball can. A match is a process that has it’s moments, if not full of boom-boom-boom excitement.

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ Tariqُُ

    Moose:
    Actually, baseball is boring from an objective standpoint. It’s a scientifically proven fact.

  • Izzo

    You know what else is boring? Things I don’t like.

  • deano

    Soccer is exciting as a mug, you really just have to play it to understand. Its not all about goals its about skills, control, passing, striking, in a lot of ways it reminds me of basketball. You can be as creative as you want with the ball on your foot. I played soccer in HS my sophmore year cause I didn’t make the basketball team, had a straight BLAST! It truly is the beautiful game.

  • BubbaChuck4Pres

    This has been bugging me and hope someone can give me an answer. Why exactly are you not allowed to set screens in soccer? That would make this sport a lot more enjoyable to watch.

  • hoodsnake

    Because of offside rules Bubba. Look it up.

  • BubbaChuck4Pres

    @hoodsnake- I thought you were good on the offsides issue as long as there are defenders between the ball and goal. So, what is stopping a teammate from setting a screen/pick when the ball is being advanced up the field (similar to say setting a pick at the top of the key in basketball)?

  • http://www.slamonline.com Colin Powers

    Hey Bubba,
    I’m not sure why they don’t allow screens. Impeding someone’s path is whistled as obstruction in soccer. It really would open up a lot of chances and space though. Maybe they’re worried about the speed of collisions because there is so much open space on the field.

  • max
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