Tuesday, July 10th, 2007 at 4:41 pm  |  32 responses

Links: The Bells of Longoria

SLAMonline takes you to the wedding of the century…

by Lang Whitaker

Believe it or not, I wasn’t invited to the recent wedding of Tony Parker and Eva Longoria. I know, I know — a huge faux pas from Parker to forget to invite a representative from the best hoops outlet in the media world.

But thanks to the fine work of paparazzi from across Europe, we can at least take a look at the pomp surrounding the circumstance…

• Gregg Popovich miraculously emerged from his coma just in time to attend the ceremony.

• DIAW: “He said what?”
TURIAF: “I’m not sure. You have to pay to watch the video online, and I’m not about to do that. All I know is that Kobe was like, I want a trade. And then he didn’t want to be traded. And then he wanted a trade again. I was like, crazy American!”

• Danny Ferry and Mike Brown knew they weren’t on the best of terms with Parker, but they were still disappointed that the seats they were assigned for the ceremony weren’t a little closer to the action.

• Even though Matt Bonner wasn’t invited, the Red Rocket showed up with his new disposable camera to snap pictures of the other guests arriving by bus.

• Tony was surprised and shocked when Eva deemed his t-shirt “too casual” to wear during the ceremony.

• “His name is what? Jackie Butler? And he makes how much money per year? OK, I’m heading over. Does my hair look OK?”

• Thierry Henry got a little overzealous after Tony asked him to keep an eye on things, here attempting to tackle Tony’s father, and later trying to headbutt Paris mayor Bertrand Delanoe.

• Even the normally unflappable French were confused to see Isaac Hayes trailing Jessica Alba around all weekend.

• “Oui, oui, and for ze honeymoon, we’re going to Euro Disney!”

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  • Douce

    im going

  • http://whitehoteboysworld.blogspot.com/ white hot eboy

    Lang are you sure that’s not B-Diddy coming up on Jessica A?

  • http://slamonline.com Lang Whitaker

    It is B-Diddy! I’m joking!

  • http://aspov.blogspot.com Cheryl

    was the wind blowing, or was ronnie happy to see me??

  • http://www.djpierrot.neufblog.com T2C.WAH

    The B-ball culture is soooo poor in France that medias talk waaaayyyy more about TP+eva mariage than TP’s MVP Finals trohy!
    I mean everybody can get married but how ’bout being the best player during the NBA Finals in the Championship team!?!?!
    The wedding was so “people” that Eva just ignored the notorious gay… excuse me, the notorious guy who was about to marry her & TP:
    She probably thought that he was a “flamboyant” bouncer (with a celeste blue jacket) in front of the gates of the Paris VIth city hall.

  • http://slamonline.com Russ Bengtson

    I guess you had to be there.

  • http://aspov.blogspot.com Cheryl

    Hey Lang, you missed one. Ladies, you gotta visit my blog for the one that got away from Lang…

  • Dean (not the first guy)

    damn b-diddy!…. now who am i gonna go after?

  • chiqo

    guess that answers the question. baron did not shave.

  • me

    pop kinda looks like that guy from 24

  • http://slamonline.com Russ Bengtson

    I hear Teri Hatcher’s dating Lance Stephenson.

  • Marie

    AK47 also took part in the festivities.

  • gii

    B Diddy knows what he’s doin’.

  • WeS

    I thought Baron was just doing it for the playoffs, but maybe he’ll never shave again…

  • http://backcourtink.blogspot.com bootlace

    Since we are already deep in gossip talk: Is it true Jessica Alba broke up with Cash Warren (who happens to be one of B-Diddys best friends)? If so, Baron’s up to no good.

  • Atrain

    B Diddy doin’ work!

  • http://slamonline.com Russ Bengtson

    It’s not easy being an international stalker.

  • http://slamonline.com Russ Bengtson

    And I’m talking to you, Jessica. Leave Baron alone already.

  • Drolfe

    Lang you should be entering SLAM’s caption contests. I think you’d be a couple of baseball caps richer.

  • http://www.myspace.com/whyberickjames Greased Up Deaf Guy aka Clay Davis

    i hope zidane wasnt there

  • http://www.friendster.com/sesa Sesa

    Who’s the girl next to Pop? She’s smokin’…
    I’d like to put my “busy hands” on her.

  • http://www.myspace.com/whyberickjames Greased Up Deaf Guy aka Clay Davis

    emergent complexity…..blah blah…….you are all remedial…blah blah…….. zidane tried to headbutt jackie butlers beard but his forehead exploded

  • paul wall

    is it me or does Pops look like Brick Top from Snatch? maybe it’s the lighting…

  • http://kb24.com Bigi

    Baron ?uestlove Davis!

  • Tariq

    I wonder if Thierry Henry had to be rotated at the wedding. And if he was, was he ok with it?

  • Renton

    Props for the Ferry / Brown joke. Brilliant.
    And who’s the young lady next to Pop? If that’s his daughter (does he have any?) I would like to meet her. Sometime. Now. Imagine that, having Greg Popovic as your father-in-law. Can you still call him “Pop”? Or would he give me a pop in the face?

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  • whooo!

    sesa, i heard that chick is pop’s daughter

  • Tricky Ricky

    It was nice of Popovich to bring his daughter.

  • Joe

    This reminds me of when you’d take those Yahoo pics after the Grammys or something and completely fill the Links like this. Some things won’t change.

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    LOL at “the wedding of the century” label. I hope you were being sarcastic when saying that. Nobody cares about these two getting married (although Eva tried her hardest to promote it till the end). I feel sorry for Tony, I mean his new wife is such a publicity hound, and he’s young so he just goes with the flow. The guy is so whipped, he’s two steps away from being Doug Christie. As much as I like Tony Parker, I give this marriage two years tops (and that’s being nice about it). But hopefully for Eva, it will last longer considering that her 15 minutes is almost up with Desperate Houswives and she’ll need some steady income to still come in, sad but true.