Wednesday, August 13th, 2008 at 3:22 pm  |  24 responses

Links: Every Time I Come Around Your City…

Ping Ping!

by Lang Whitaker

• I’ve been meaning to link to probably the best magazine story I’ve read all year. It was in last week’s New Yorker, and I can’t really say anything too specific about it without giving the whole thing away. Regardless, I highly recommend it and do not click here unless you’re ready to lose the next hour of your life. Seriously, a great read.

• BREAKING: They found the body of Bigfoot. He lived in Georgia, it turns out.

• Not only did I catch Doug Collins endorsing lies on the NBC airwaves, but Sekou Smith, Henry Abbott and John Hollinger all heard him as well. I wonder if Collins will apologize or try to correct himself during the game tomorrow? Somehow I doubt it. But I hope he does.

• BTW, how awesome is it watching the Olympic highlights on “SportsCenter,” where they obviously don’t have the rights to show highlights of the actual events. Last night they had Michael Phelps “highlights,” which consisted of an anchor talking about the race Phelps had just completed while photos of Phelps flashed across the screen. Because nothing really captures the essence of the world’s best competition like photos. They should start a web site or something.

• I received a couple of email earlier this week of incredible importance. Linkstigator Keith writes from England…

So, I live in England and we are fairly sheltered here. We’ve only recently got the internets. That pretty much sums us up.

But brilliantly, I have just had a ‘Ping-Ping’ sighting. He was at the Olympics. No, he wasn’t really but wouldn’t it have been cool if he was holding the torch? Ping Ping was on tv on a programme called ‘Superhuman: World’s smallest people’. Here is a summary:

“Series looking at extraordinary humans, with a focus today on the shortest people on the planet, examining how they deal with everything from work and poor health to shopping and finding love. Including the stories of Britain’s smallest man, who has a normal-sized family and a regular job, and He Ping Ping, who became the official world’s smallest man at 2 ft 5 inches, and found a route out of poverty. Plus, the two athletes competing to become the fastest little person in the world ”

Here is Ping-Ping watch for you:

• Ping-Ping holds a cat. The cat is bigger than Ping-Ping.
• He must get pissed at having to wear the same suit everyday. At least he gets to rock the trainers.
• He washes his face like a cat washes their head but without the licking.
• His family are farmers.
• They have a two room house.
• Saw him on a kid’s electric motorbike which was luminous green. He was one happy chappy.
• He smokes 30 cigarettes a day. I could make a joke about the effects of smoking but instead all I will say is what my mum said to me: “Mr. Ping-Ping frightens me.”

Thanks for the update, Keith. Also, Linkstigator Mike also sent along this link to the web page of the show, but it won’t allow me to watch the show because I’m not in the UK. I did a brief search on Youtube but couldn’t find any footage. If anyone can unearth this on the internets in a form we can all see, please send me the link.

• Because Myles asked: Yes I got Madden and yes it’s amazing. It’s worth buying, I promise. The game looks a little cleaner than before, overall, but there’s a couple of cool innovations, such as the REWIND button. They’re also promoting this as “the game that adjusts to you.” When you start the game it puts you through a quick test and gauges how good you are at Madden, and then the game is supposed to adjust its difficulty to your level.

Whatever, all I know is that it’s really fun to play with the Falcons and not be forced to use Joey Harrington at QB.

• Since I know you’ll care, here’s a bunch of pictures of Kobe modeling suits from some Italian magazine. Yawn.

• Anyone catch this NY Post story about Michael Phelps? Besides them tagging him “Boy Gorge,” the Post also runs down Phelps’ training diet, which seems a little excessive to me…

Phelps lends a new spin to the phrase “Breakfast of Champions” by starting off his day by eating three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise.

He follows that up with two cups of coffee, a five-egg omelet, a bowl of grits, three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar and three chocolate-chip pancakes.

At lunch, Phelps gobbles up a pound of enriched pasta and two large ham and cheese sandwiches slathered with mayo on white bread — capping off the meal by chugging about 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.

For dinner, Phelps really loads up on the carbs — what he needs to give him plenty of energy for his five-hours-a-day, six-days-a-week regimen — with a pound of pasta and an entire pizza.

He washes all that down with another 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.

Wow. Sounds like someone could have a Lipitor endorsement in their future.

• Worth noting: Pops Mensah-Bonsu is going to sign with Joventut Badalona, a.k.a. the team Ricky Rubio plays for.

• Also heading for Europe? Disaster!

• That’s it. I’ll be back tomorrow morning with notes from the epic Greece/USA game.

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  • http://www.mybleedingfingertips.blogspot.com/ Myles Brown

    Thank you.

  • poohbiz

    ping ping!

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com H to the Izzo

    After seeing the Ping Ping documentary,anything about him just makes me sad.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Khalid Salaam

    I found werewolf in harlem

  • http://www.slamonline.com Khalid Salaam

    and a vampire near the slamdome

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Eboy

    Lang, that Bourdin article is amazing.

  • http://slamonline.com Lang Whitaker

    Khalid, show us pictures like the gentlemen from Georgia and I’ll believe you.

  • Adam T

    Ping Ping can french inhale….and blow smoke rings

  • Boing Dynasty

    Is french inhale a metphore for oral sex?

  • Adam T

    haha, no but it sounds like it…it’s when you smoke and let it out through your mouth then inhale it through your nose..think every other rap video

  • viva la vida mayn

    What if Lebron James is like Bourdin

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Cheryl

    why’d they lighten Kobe’s eyes on the cover?

  • akimana

    Kobe Bryant is defnitely Bourdin.

  • http://slamonline.com Ben Osborne

    Well played, akimana.

  • http://slamonline.com Lang Whitaker

    Khalid, here are some details on the body of Bigfoot that was found (from http://www.searchingforbigfoot.com):

    *The creature is seven feet seven inches tall.

    *It weighs over five hundred pounds.

    *The creature looks like it is part human and part ape-like.

    *It is male.

    *It has reddish hair and blackish-grey eyes.

    *It has two arms and two legs, and five fingers on each hand and
    five toes on each foot.

    *The feet are flat and similar to human feet.

    *Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five
    and three-quarters inches wide at
    the heel.

    *From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its
    hands are eleven and three-quarters inches
    long and six and one-quarter inches wide.

    *The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the
    same day that the body was found.)

    *The teeth are more human-like than ape-like.

    *DNA tests are currently being done and the current DNA and photo
    evidence will be presented at the press
    conference on Friday, August 15th.

  • Dallas J

    7’7″ 500lbs! The Mavs are anxiously awaiting the capture of a live on in time for training camp.

    The Jazz are anxiously awaiting the capture of an albino variation.

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ TADOne

    I currently don’t have an hour to waste. But i’m going to print that article and read it later.

  • http://www.ravingblacklunatic.blogspot.com Allenp

    Dallas J is funny…Michael Phelps is amazing.

  • http://idunkonthem.blogspot.com/ albie1kenobi

    wait so they killed a bigfoot by accident?

  • Jackie Moon

    @Lang, a co-worker actually urged me to read that New Yorker column recently. I still want to know the truth about what happened to the “missing” kid.

    Back to Team USA, any chance of a live blog like you guys did for USA v Russia a few weeks ago (or was that only a week ago)?

  • http://slamonline.com Lang Whitaker

    There’s a possibility. Check the site in the morning…

  • Will

    Crap, I wasn’t ready to lose an hour of my life, but I clicked anyway… awesome story.

  • Yunki

    That New Yorker story is bogus!

    Fiction has to be believable, but reality does not!

  • http://blog.thebrooklynboy.net The Brooklyn Boy

    And for dessert, Phelps ate Mr. Ping-Ping, washing him down with a gallon of molasses. The Guinness Book could not be reached for comment.