Shhh!
When I first started working at SLAM, I used to wear a t-shirt to work pretty much every day. Shorts, sneakers, hats, jerseys — I dressed for each day in the office like it was a Saturday and I was heading to a sports bar. Because I could. Nobody told me not to. Ninety-five percent of the time I spent my day sitting at my desk and seeing the same dozen people over and over.
The problem was that other five percent of the time. Occasionally people would show up out of the blue. Agents, players, PR people, company owners. In some respect, they didn’t really care how I was dressed, but it did make some immeasurable difference.
One day I remember coming in wearing a hat and a t-shirt and, totally randomly, the BBC called and asked me to appear live on their nightly news to talk about the Kobe Bryant court case, and I had to spend about ten minutes sorting through the drawers in my desk looking for a sweater or something more presentable to wear on international television.
Since then, I’ve learned to make an effort. Now I wear a shirt with a collar every day, even in the summer. I still wear my Braves hat, but I can remove it with minimal collateral damage. Basically, I want to present the best version of myself every day, because you just never know who you’re going to meet or what opportunity you’re going to come across on any given day.
I don’t like doing this. If it was up to me, I’d wear t-shirts and sweatpants to work every day of the week. I want to be true to myself, dress the way I want to dress, but I recognize that there are societal lines I am not immune to. Perhaps one day my ability to arrange words in a certain order will improbably translate into a billion-dollar industry for me, at which point I will be able to be above initial perceptions. But for now, I’m a part of it, whether I like it or not.
The lesson here is that sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do for the benefit of other people. Which, generally, sucks for me. But it’s absolute truth in every facet of life. I don’t want to clean up the bathroom at home, but if Wifey asks me to do it and I don’t do it, it makes our relationship more difficult than it otherwise needs to be. Does it really make a difference to the world around me if my sink hasn’t been scrubbed in two weeks? None whatsoever. But it does make a difference to my wife, and her level of happiness makes a direct difference in my life. So I scrub the sink.
This seems to be a life lesson that Gilbert Arenas hasn’t completely grasped. Everything we do, every decision we make, has an effect, long-term or short-term or both. Maybe he’s never had to grasp it. Maybe it’s why he wasn’t picked in the first round of the NBA Draft. Maybe it’s why he’s not playing basketball right now.
I’ve generally found an unwillingness to conform an endearing trait in many people, specifically athletes. It’s what makes the rebels fun to follow. And it’s what made Gilbert Arenas so much fun. We could expect the unexpected from Gilbert. He said things other players wouldn’t say, did things other players wouldn’t do. And that’s all great, great stuff. That’s entertainment. But there’s a difference in being a non-conformist and in being obstinate, and over the last week, Gilbert crossed that line.
Regardless of what did or did not happen, there was one correct way for Gilbert to handle the situation he found himself in which would have resulted in him keeping most of his money and maximize his time on the basketball court: Shut up other than to apologize and then play basketball. Let the system run its course. Basically, stop being Gilbert Arenas, at least for a while. Maybe you are completely innocent, maybe you are as guilty as can be, but let those things play out in front of you without commentary. Because in a worst-case-scenario, you could actually make public perception worse. Which is exactly what happened.
I understand humor as a coping mechanism. I do. Anytime things get too serious for me, I crack a joke. Or, when I really want to make everyone laugh, I rip a huge fart. (I was kidding, but see, that was funny.)
Employed correctly, humor is a great equalizer. It deflates tension, smooths things out. But a bad joke is about the worst thing someone can drop into a tense situation. Think about how in nearly every action movie there’s a scene where something’s about to pop off, and then someone cracks a joke nobody laughs at. Gilbert was that unfunny joker, over and over and over again over the last week. He seemed to be trying to swing for the fences time and again, but swinging and missing every time. It was as if he felt that eventually, one of these jokes would connect and everyone would remember, “Oh, this is GILBERT ARENAS we’re talking about!” But the situation was too far gone for Gilbert to do anything about it.
I’ve seen a lot of people upset about Gilbert’s indefinite suspension, saying that David Stern is being too harsh in light of the penalties that other guys who’ve had gun incidents — like Delonte West or Stephen Jackson or Sebastian Telfair — received. But there’s one huge, immediate difference that should be obvious to everyone: Every one of those other guys immediately issued copious apologies and then went silent. They didn’t tweet incessantly, they didn’t attempt to engage every rumor, they didn’t say that David Stern was a mean person, but most importantly, none of them pretended to shoot their teammates during the pregame introductions!
By far, the most important word in David Stern’s statement was “ongoing,” as in it was Gilbert’s “ongoing conduct [that] has led me to conclude that he is not currently fit to take the court in an NBA game.” Basically, Gilbert didn’t know when to say when, and he didn’t seem to have anyone around him able to convince him that it was time to say when. So David Stern said it for him.
Gilbert told the Washington Post that he’d like the chance to talk to Stern. “I just want to remind him of who I am,” Gilbert said. “I’m the kid who jumped off the trampoline at the all-star game, the kid who throws his jersey to people in the stands. I’m not the hoodlum that’s being written and talked about right now.”
Look, Gilbert Arenas made some terrible, no-good, very bad choices. That doesn’t mean he’s not the guy who called himself “Hibachi” and got a tiger tattoo on his chest.
Most of us remember the other Gil, the one we all loved and had fun cheering for. Maybe the best way to make sure everyone focuses on that guy, and the best way for Gil to keep his job going forward, would be if he stopped trying so desperately to remind us.
A lot of people made their initial perceptions of Gilbert Arenas, and most of those perceptions were positive. As Gilbert’s finding out now, pleasing everyone is really hard, maybe the hardest thing for a person to do.
But that doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Or at least, you can’t try really hard to do it.
LATEST NEWS & RUMORS
View all »
- Report: Hawks Not Talking Extension With Josh Smith
- NBA Fines Erik Spoelstra $25K For Criticizing Officiating
- Knicks Sign Mike Woodson to 3-Year Contract
- SLAM Radio: Epitaphs Out East
- Avery Bradley to Undergo Season-Ending Shoulder Surgery
- Jeff Van Gundy Blasts Orlando Magic for Handling of Stan Van Gundy’s Firing
- JR Smith Arrested in Miami Due to License, Then Released
- Kicks: Derrick Williams’ Birthday Sneaker Scavenger Hunt
- Are the Orlando Magic Ready to Trade Dwight Howard?
- View All »
I read this piece, looked at my outfit (sweat pants and t-shirt with dried ketchup on it), realized I haven’t shaved in 4 days or showered since yesterday, and now just feel gross. Thanks a lot Lang. Now I gotta go get a shirt with a collar on it just to boost my flagging self-esteem. And I need to scrub my sink too. I used to come to Slamonline to read about bball news and to zone out of the real world for a bit. Now I have to dress nicer and clean my house. Has my fiance been talking to you?
I wish Stern had just suspended Arenas because he admitted to violating league rules. Then there would be no need for this discussion. Arenas knew the rules, he broke the rules, so he got punished. The decision to tie it Arenas “ongoing actions” or his attitude, irks me to know in because this sets a dangerous precendent.
It’s like Roger Goodell suspending multiple players four games for driving under the influence but then suspending Jared Allen only two games because he looked into Allen’s eyes and saw “remorse.”
It’s normal to use your emotions to make decisions, and none of us think black and white rules are always adequate. But, when you make decision based on gut reactions there is a much bigger chance for mistakes, bias and unfair treatment. Concrete guidelines establish a measure of justice in situations.
I feel you.
But the reasoning behind punishment is important. In order for to respect the process I have to believe decisions are based on logic and justice.
As I’ve said multiple times, Arenas should be suspended. Why the need to talk about him as “unfit” and basically tie his reinstatement to his contrition?
Arenas has apologized numerous times. He’s never tried to justify what he did, nor has he complained about the suspension. He’s only said that he doesn’t like the way the situation was portrayed in the media, and he would like to talk to Stern about his side of the incident.
At the same time, I don’t think this should be grounds for the Washington Wizards to get out of a contract they clearly wanted to get out of all along, especially if no criminal charges come of this. And I also think that Khalid’s view that Gil should get a LIFETIME BAN is, all due respect, wildly disproportianate.
Oh, I agree with you there. I’m not blaming the Wizards for wanting to get out of the contract. I’m saying that Stern shouldn’t allow them to get out of it unless they have proper grounds, namely a criminal conviction. Maintaining the image of your league is not grounds for voiding an $80 million contract. Stern has the power to suspend Arenas because he broke NBA rules concerning bringing guns onto NBA property, and I can’t blame him for his harshness in Arenas’s case because Arenas has been acting like a dumba$$. Fine.
But to suggest that he should be relieved of $80 million dollars, and, even worse, denied the chance to earn a livelihood in the NBA, even if he hasn’t been convicted of anything? I think that’s a bit too much.
P.S.
Co-sign Myles @4.08
It doesn’t have to be a criminal conviction. The contract allows them to void it for “immoral” behavior, which is just vague enough to work with damn near anything.
If you don’t like guns, fine. But, don’t pretend that guns are these evil instruments of doom that always result in bloodshed.
Lots of people use guns responsibly and lots of people don’t.
A lifetime ban for bringing an unloaded weapon into building is ridiculous. The only justification is what “might” happen. My opposition isn’t about being unreasonably pro-player it’s about being sensible.
You can’t go around handing down draconian punishments for what might have happened. That really makes no sense. That’s at the heart of many of the problems this country has had since it’s inception. You cannot tell me that bringing a gun into a locker room is more dangerous than driving drunk. That doesn’t make sense.
Can’t argue with you. The NBA has the “right” to deny Arenas the option of playing in their league and Washington has the “right” to void his contract.
So, do you think that would the right thing for them to do? And if so, please explain why you think that would be the right and just thing for them to do.
Oh. Well I still think that’s b*llshit. “Immorality”? In that case, any guy caught cheating on his wife should have his contract revoked.
I can see Washington voiding the contract and dumping him. Hell, I wouldn’t be super pissed at them, but it would seem more like a financial move than a move that stemmed from his actual actions.
I would be highly pissed if he got a lifetime ban. Like, beyond pissed.
A lifetime ban is not like being fired. A lifetime ban is much more severe and life-altering. Firing would be the equivalent Wizards voiding his contract and forcing him into free agency. A lifetime ban would deny him the chance to play in the NBA regardless of if any team had an interest in signing him. Yes, Arenas is a member of the NBA, but ultimately he is an employee of the Washington Wizards. For the NBA to restrict his ability to play for any other team for the rest of his life seems unjust.
Although, I will admit that Doyouwantmore made a decent argument for the ban.
I don’t think that the Wizards are evil for trying to get out of Gil’s contract. It’s a bad contract. A situation has presented itself which they may be able to take advantage of. The ruling is, according to Allenp, “immoral conduct” or whatever the hell it is. So, if I were the Wizards, I’d try to take full advantage of the situation. It would be foolish not to.
HOWEVA, in my opinion, I think it’s poppycock if they manage to get this contract voided on “immoral” grounds. In my mind, a married man cheating on his wife is much more “immoral” than a guy goofing of with a bunch of unloaded guns in an empty locker room. Less dangerous, but more “immoral.”
I think you all need to think of this in a more global sense too. Whether you like it or not the NBA is an international product. Whether you like it or not, not everyone who likes the NBA, or basketball for that matter, likes hip hop/rap. Whether you like it or not, there are stereotypes that get associated with players.
When you have a player bring guns to an arena and then use those guns in an altercation is, however you look at it, unacceptable. Then to fool around and try to make light of an already sensitive subject is just plain stupid. While you in America may be used to everyday life with guns, many people in the rest of the world are not, and probably find this whole situation quite unbelievable.
Yes, suspend him indefinitely. When all is said and done go to arbitration and try to get back what you think you deserve.
Yes, yes it does matter that he played with his guns at an NBA arena as opposed to at his own home.
There IS a difference and it’s epically large…..
Abe Pollin dies, then this happens a few months later and the Wiz get to undo his biggest mistake. Shadenfraude.
Gil needs to go on one of those celebrity poker shows for his next career
Comments