Wednesday, May 16th, 2007 at 4:38 pm  |  198 responses

Patrick Patterson is a Wildcat. Finally.

Maybe inbreeding isn’t so bad after all.

Understand, Kentucky fans, this happened in spite of you, not because of you.

I don’t mean all Kentucky fans, or even most of you, just the short-bus riders who posted on the Patrick Patterson diary pages we ran to preview the Jordan All-American Classic a few weeks back. I’ll give the benefit of the doubt to Wildcat nation in general and assume that most of you are decent, rational folks, not the sort of bed-wetting, life-lacking tools who polluted our website last month. But to those of you who are, and who did, well, this is more than you deserve.

I recently spoke to Pat for a piece in the next issue of SLAM, and he reminded me how a bunch of you — and I have no doubt it was some of the same intellectual midgets who graced our pages — had drooled all over his Myspage page last year. He said this made him laugh, and I’m sure it did, though one could argue that such blatant stupidity, which could’ve brought NCAA sanctions, might not in fact have been funny. Fortunately for you, there are idiot fans at Florida and Duke, too, so your existence was mostly negated. And no, if you’re wondering, I’m not a fan of a rival school: I went to Penn State, so there is no rivalry. (Although I do feel compelled to note that, the last time we did play you, at your place, we ended your 20-game home winning streak. Sorry about that.)

Anyway, props to Pat for wading through all the crap and making his pick, and to Billy Gillispie, who appears not to be a bad recruiter. And props to the majority of UK fans who will, I trust, root for this kid to succeed and wish him well when he’s ready to leave. To the rest, I welcome your comments. But please, as always, make sure your chin straps are buckled and your drool cups are in place before you get back in front of your PC. Go Big Blue!

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  • http://slamonline.com Ben Osborne

    Russ, where’s slamadamonth?

  • http://slamonline.com Ben Osborne

    Sorry Russ. Susan asleep on the job. You can resume your hysterical Blue Chips commentary.

  • Phil B

    reasonable and a sense of humor? hell yes! that’s why i’m married. wrong place? hell no! i really wanted patrick patterson to go to UK too!! of course, i didn’t even know he had a myspace page. of course all the kids do nowadays. i do too, but i don’t do anything to it. it was fun for a couple weeks though. i feel old.

  • http://slamonline.com Russ Bengtson

    Ben: Apologies for it not being in earlier anyway. P.S. Harris E-Mail ’07: Sucking More Than Ever.

  • tike

    HEY THERES NO PLACE LIKE PA..BEING THAT IM FROM THE GREAT STATE….ON ANOTHER NOTE THANKS PAT FOR PICKING MY SQUAD LOOK FORWARD 2 SEEING YOU IN A UK JERSEY…HOLLA

  • http://slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    Russ, I think I speak for all slamonline.com readers when I say I’m VERY excited to read your unique take on Flip Murray’s memorable dunk in the next issue.

  • Eoin

    Wait…where did these people come from?DO YOU IDIOTS JUST COME TO ANY SITE THAT HAS THE WORDS “PATRICK” AND “PATTERSON” ON IT??Good God.I know I’m late to this, but if there are any Kentucky “fans” reading this, they should try reading the magazine before they just abuse Ryan.And while they’re at it, realise that their comments on the Diary were everything that is wrong with college basketball recruiting.And shut the F*** up…God damn…

  • http://slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    Yes, Eoin. Yes they do. That’s the problem with google news alerts…
    Anyway, I do appreciate the support fellas, but in fairness, these people have definitely upped the unintentional comedy rate around here, so I’m sort of glad they’re around. As long as it’s only temporary.

  • H to the izzo

    Now I know I’m late on this but Gary Busey could play the coach in Blue Chips……oh ya F*ck Kentucky

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    I’m certainly not going to start now, OMWM.

  • oliver

    ata boy ryan-

  • brandon

    the only thing good that came out of the article was unintentional. The mark of a great sports writer

  • natchamps98

    Oj Mayo’s Weed Man – why don’t u suck yourself since your head is up your ass..come to our state and say that to anyone’s face and u will never ever see the light of day again…

  • H to the izzo

    Thy’re still here apparantly

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    Their stock is hearty, izzo.

  • http://. H to the izzo

    In a bid to get to 200 I would like to say that Adolph Rupp couldn’t coach Ben Wallace to a Defensive player of the year..oh wait Ben Wallace is black he wouldn’t have coached him anyway

  • natchamps98

    U all suck, Slam magazine sucks – u have ruined your self in state of Ky – good move dumbasses

  • brandon

    I do have a question when Izzo asks for your hand in marriage Ryan whose last name will be kept? Or are you all progressive and it will be. Mr. and Mr. Ryan Izzo-Jones.

    H: all you need to do is keep up the dumb posts and you can reach 200 on your own. Or did you not realize that?

  • brandon

    In an effort to help Izzo out in his quest.

    Ryan there are benefits to having a disabled domestic partner

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    Honestly, I can’t see why people feel the need to be insulting.

  • http://. H to the izzo

    Actually Brandon I’m spoken for and believe this or believe it not my real name isn’t izzo its Alan so…good one.
    And also if you could keep your ignorance away from this site it would be great,I have a brother that is paralyzed from the waist down and his life has been nothing but a struggle..my comments were nothing but playfull joking around but if you want to say things that you have no idea about how thier lives are affected by this…just stop you ignorant pr*ck…some people

  • http://. H to the izzo

    sorry about the rant

  • brandon

    I was referring to your mental disability. OH so I see you can make fun of inbred people where some have no choice they cant pick there parents. That is all fine and good. But once what you perceived as a joke towards someone that was closer to you then its time to get all up in arms and rant and call me a prick. So you are saying it is perfectly ok to make fun of people as long as they arent connected to you? What a hypocrite. You are what I like to refer to as a band wagon jerk. You take the side of what is popular so you can be a part of something because your to weak to stand up for what you really think. If you really think it is wrong to make fun of a group of individuals then fine. But dont pretend that my statement about disabled people was ANY different than the ones you made about inbred people you hypocritical a$$.

    How the hell would I know if you or your brother was physically disabled. I was connecting the dots between your posts and your MENTAL capacity. Sorry you havent done much else here other than toss out idiotic statements and kiss Ryan’s ass. On top of that you let your womanly emotions get the best of you in a pitiful attempt to rally support from others.

    You are pathetic

    I guess the difference in playful joking and offensive joking is if they relate to you or not.

    And Im not sorry about the rant.

    Your ignorance and lack of a spine has been displayed time and time again.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    I think izzo was saying it’s OK to make fun of people who choose to have sex with their immediate family members. And I would tend to agree with that.
    177…

  • brandon

    Well thanks for clearing that up for me ryan

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    I am your humble public servant, brandon.
    Since you’ve stuck around this long (and may in fact be the only one left), let me ask you something: Were you one of those people who posted on Patrick’s diary a couple weeks ago?

  • brandon

    Sorry I need to clarify that for Izzo he might not get it. That is such BS ryan and you know it. His and your statements were both about inbred people. Not the contributors of inbreeding. I dont see that clarified anywhere before now. I think you should work on your own back peddling before you try to do it for someone else.

    Why could Izzo not come up with this lame a$$ excuse for himself? Maybe he is searching through your purse for his balls.

  • brandon

    No honestly I was not one of those people that posted anywhere on Patrick Pattersons anything. Not that you read everyone of my posts but I actually stated my discontent towards those people, UK fans or not. There is no need for that. I also have openly stated my issues with many fair-weather UK fans. The ones that turned on tubby so quickly after his departure. These people are not UK fans, they are not inbred they are ignorant. The only excuse they have is lack of knowledge and commonsense. To me as a Kentuckian and a UK fan your comments were appalling on many different levels. I dont expect you to really care you wrote about your opinion and I am doing the same.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    Then I wasn’t talking about you. My comments on those diaries, and in this column, were incredibly specific. Obviously, I don’t think the state of Kentucky if populated with inbreeders any more than I think Central Pennsylvania is (and you should see some of the people around here). I used the inbred and short-bus references to make a point about the stunning lack of intellect and common sense these people exhibited, just as your implications that izzo and I are effeminate and/or gay are making a point… well, they’re not really, but I guess what’s the difference? You didn’t have to take any of this personally, man, but you chose to.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    Or “is” populated, if you prefer. I’m in trouble now…

  • http://. H to the izzo

    Brandon I honestly don’t know why I’m replying I never once said anything about you personally,I made my point through a rash stereotype that I don’t even believe,those people were trying to sway the choice of a potential player through threatening remarks,which was ridiculous.All points I made were directed towards them not you.If you were one of the people who wrote against it then you shouldn’t be offended.I didn’t want to get personal in any way because there is no need for it,but your remarks annoyed me because I never meant inbred in a literal way or directed towards everybody in Kentucky,I am not that dim,it was obviously not serious but you chose to take it serious.Also a question:What are you defending?

  • brandon

    Point taken. I knew your article wasnt directed at me persay but i was mutually included if that makes sense? Being a UK fan and being born and raised in Kentucky add to that I am a “redneck” or farm boy. Maybe that better articulates point of reference.

    And it was “And” not “Or” on my description of yourself and Izzo……..LOL

    Well I must say that you do have a talent for turning this all around.

    Im not an editor and I made enough grammatical errors in my posts. People in glass houses should not casts stones…..err something like that.

  • http://. H to the izzo

    Look if your here to stay make a comment on another aricle because this is getting a bit tedious

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    Deep down, I know we all love each other. Just not in a gay or inbred way.

  • http://. H to the izzo

    Can’t we all say we’re all gay and inbred just to be done with this

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    That wouldn’t really work, izzo. If we were both, I mean.

  • http://. H to the izzo

    We would have world peace if everyone was both

  • Steve O

    UK is pussing out playing at UMASS… bums!!!

  • brandon

    Ryan could you please write a more generalized UK hate article to appease steve o? He’s like the 3 yr old no one pays attention to when the adults are talking. Next time Steve just say “Hey, I want some attention”

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    Sorry man, I don’t have it in me.

  • Steve O

    What can i say brandon I wasn’t hugged enough as a youngster, obviously sarcasm is tough to pick up through type. I read that in the paper the other day and wanted to fire you up, again. Mission accomplished.

  • brandon

    Sorry but I dont tend to think about any of you when reading the sports page. I kind of play it by ear. Like the true evil master mind you are you only relate your fiendish plan after springing your trap on me. OH THE HUMANITY…..WILL IT EVER END. I have been out smarted by STEVE OHHHHH!

  • anonymous

    Pat is a great player and i wish him well at Kentucky.

  • bigmike407

    Questions of the day: Will he want out since Tubby has left the building? And how long will he stay at UK? As a UK fan (in UF country, no less. I went to the camp after they won it all in ’96 and had a ball.), I hope he stays all four. But in this day and age, where the League is now the new get-rich-quick scheme, will he leave unprepared to get paid? I’m glad we got him, but I doubt he’ll stay around long.

  • DaGr8Won

    Uk All Day P2 will revive the Blue World Order -DaGr8Won

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  • http://www.freewebs.com/betcats BETCATS

    Jones you are the greatest Kentucky provocker in human history

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