Friday, December 29th, 2006 at 11:25 pm  |  44 responses

The Most Inevitable Divorce Ever?

There’s a new World’s Most Eligible Bachelor in town and it’s not you.

Ah, fickle love.

Michael Jordan and his wife, Juanita are apparently divorcing. This only five years after she originally filed, citing the usual “irreconcilable differences.” Guess they weren’t so irreconcilable after all. This time around they mutually agreed to call it quits, which means, among other things, that she’ll be getting a rather large amount of money.

This has been coming for years, of course. When Mike played/worked for the Wizards, Juanita stayed in their palatial Chicago estate. Whenever he was seen at parties/restaurants/bars, it was never with his wife—unless he’s a bigamist with Charles Oakley. (Gonna leave that one alone.) And the stories, oh, the stories. I hope, in my lifetime, that someone is able to write a truly definitive, no-holds-barred Jordan bio. It’s not libel if it’s true!

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  • Break'in Ankles Posted: Dec.29 at 11:59 pm
    Money’s soon to be ex-wife looks like Michael Jackson 145 surgeries ago.

  • mutoni Posted: Dec.30 at 3:21 am
    that look wifey is shooting $ is frightening.

  • namik Posted: Dec.30 at 3:22 am
    Russ hook me up with SLAM 100! Please!!! I cant find it anywhere. I swear I’ll suscribe if I can get this.
    That Chicago “house” is crazy…..

  • BETCATS Posted: Dec.30 at 9:45 am
    Break n Ankles and Mutoni, MJ’s ex aint gonna care what nobody has to saw shee is gonna be so god damn rich shee could shoot $100 a day out of her vajayjay and still have more money than me for the next 300 years, now that shit right here is disturbing

  • BETCATS Posted: Dec.30 at 9:47 am
    because all she needs is around 11,000,001 and she could do it

  • Jason Posted: Dec.30 at 12:33 pm
    Juanita is friends with one of my aunts. Everybody always focuses on MJ’s cheating but Juanita’s been tricking on other dudes for years. She’s been on some how Stella got her groove back ish for real. They only got married in the first place for MJ’s image. She’s just as cold blooded as he is.

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Dec.30 at 2:18 pm
    I’ll just say this: Juanita’s older than Mike, and he wasn’t the first Bull she “dated.”

  • itai Posted: Dec.30 at 3:27 pm
    mike and his everlasting earing of greatness with pull through

  • mutoni Posted: Dec.30 at 3:45 pm
    russ, why don’t you write the definitive mj bio.

  • H to the izzo Posted: Dec.30 at 6:32 pm
    Won’t somebody please think of the children!!

  • Break'in Ankles Posted: Dec.30 at 7:42 pm
    Will Juanita or Heather Mills walk away with the larger amount of undeserved riches? I kinda feel like insulting the mother of $’s children is some kind of blasphemy…
    but Russ, you can’t imply his Airness married sloppy seconds (or worse) for his image’s sake and then leave it at that. Who else “dated” her?

  • Max Airington Posted: Dec.30 at 9:58 pm
    Reggie Theus!

  • Reggie Evans Posted: Dec.31 at 3:40 am
    Vanessa Bryant, take notes!

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Dec.31 at 4:31 am
    Yeah, Reggie Theus was one for sure. At least as far as I remember. I don’t think she was quite old enough to have dated Johnny “Red” Kerr.

  • Max Airington Posted: Dec.31 at 4:58 am
    If anyone, it was Kobe Bryant taking notes. People say he was a sucker for buying her that $4mil ring, but it’s alot cheaper than alimony and child support. Juanits may walk away with 20 times that amount.

  • rpcjr Posted: Dec.31 at 2:20 pm
    dang, why peeps hating on her? he shoulda just kept it in his pants or never gotten married.

  • Mr.100 Posted: Dec.31 at 5:00 pm
    MJ deserves to have his privicy. So I wonder if he’ll marry again,if so he chas some good options,

  • Dblizzy! Posted: Jan.1 at 3:09 am
    He’d be an idiot to marry again. I know it’s hard to say, but if I was a world famous athlete, I would never get married, or at least not until I’m waaaaaaaaaaaaaay past my heyday. How can you ever truly know if one of these chicks loves you, or if she’s a golddigger? Chicks use regular hardworking dudes for their money, so why put it past a chick when you got crazy cheddar. Call me a pig, but I’d have me one main chick thats willin to pop out some kids and continue to do my thing. If she stays down long enough, maybe then I’d marry her. And is that a #6 earring in MJ’s ear? Thats crazy…

  • Jason Posted: Jan.1 at 2:22 pm
    Reggie Theus was just one and wasn’t the only other athlete before or after their marriage. Juanita got around just as much as Mike and they’ve had an understanding for the last however many years. She threatened divorce last time because Mike wasn’t keeping up his end of the deal at the time.

  • J R Posted: Jan.1 at 4:52 pm
    one word, PRENUB!!! gotta do it when you got money like that.

  • Lang Whitaker Posted: Jan.2 at 2:17 am
    I didn’t know he was married to Liza Minelli.

  • Darksaber Posted: Jan.2 at 10:05 am
    Damn, that “estate” is off the charts. Way to spend it Airness. So, is Juanita gonna get more than spielberg’s ex (around 500 mil.)? I guess he can now get together with the clin-ton in their favourite hobby: let’s go bag us some chubbies!!

  • Omar Posted: Jan.2 at 4:08 pm
    Don’t worry Mike, she looked like a masculine Prince anyway.

  • Harlem World Posted: Jan.3 at 7:51 am
    Juanita has been doing her thing for a minute now. She actually has ‘scouts’ out there ‘recruiting’ for her (or used to, anyway). You’d wonder why none of the guys would make a grip and sell the story after the fact? Paperwork. You don’t get to go there till you sign on the dotted line – no exposure or you’re hit with a no-contest lawsuit that will have your unborn kids, kids working to pay off what you’ll owe. No joke. No disrespect, but I always thought $ could do so much better – and i’m not just talking about her Prince/MJ (the other one) looks. She’s a couple nickels short of a dime – in my opinion.

  • illydiva Posted: Jan.3 at 4:48 pm
    How old are the kids? (Can’t be bothered to look it up.) Juanita & Mike have done their time. They got married for image sake, stayed married (original divorce filing happened around the time he was making his last comeback) for image sake and they no longer need each other for image sake. Everybody gets what they want. He won’t even miss the money he’ll pay.

  • illydiva Posted: Jan.3 at 4:50 pm
    And didn’t he have a child before his marriage with his college girl, who was even more a regular chick than Juanita in the looks department. Guess that didn’t work for his image.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Jan.3 at 7:00 pm
    Omar’s got it right — that’s Prince circa like 98. Wow.

  • BigL Posted: Jan.3 at 7:59 pm
    Hilarious stuff. A Prince look-a-like, a #6 earing, and a house that is ridiculous all in 1 column. I hope she writes that book; It would be funnier than the “Jordan Rules” one.

  • Chief Posted: Jan.4 at 12:57 am
    yeah man they only stayed together this long caus eof the wizard things…MJ’s been away forom the game long enough that this wont’ hurt him at all, Juanita’s a ugly bitch anyway…word. Besides God is infallible.

  • Cheryl Posted: Jan.4 at 1:14 pm
    Now, why she gotta be “@itch”, Chief?

  • Max Airington Posted: Jan.4 at 1:16 pm
    You think Money used to make her wear the Prince Pants on special occasions?

  • Jaime Posted: Jan.6 at 9:46 am
    I know the current blonde ladyfriend now and she’s really nice. She’s not a groupie and she works,as well. She comes from a good family and will not introduce MJ formally to them unless he’s divorced. I guess, this is the time now.

  • umm Posted: Jan.10 at 6:45 pm
    Umm…Quote: “Guess they weren’t so irreconcilable after all” would be a double negative? i.e. it would mean that “Guess they were reconcilable after all.” Correct me if I’m wrong?

  • Blue Posted: Jan.11 at 8:47 pm
    That’s cold, Lang. I mean…not only does she get some serious change out of this, but she has been cheating on G.O.A.T. for at least 4 years…with Buster Bluth?!? Just cold!

  • mishling Posted: Mar.6 at 11:23 am
    What’s with all the negativity towards Juanita??? I hear from everybody’s comments that they know someone that knows her through someone, etc, etc. The truth is none of us know the truth but MJ, Juanita and God. It takes two to make a relationship work, so obviously neither one of them put the continued effort forth to make their marriage last. Stop being haters, you all with the negative Juanita cracks sound jealous. What’s wrong? Are you mad that she’s about to get paid and your as* is broke! And no she’s not a Halle Barry, but some of the people’s comments would make you think that this woman’s face caught fire and somebody had to put it out with an ax! She’s not a ugly woman and it makes those individuals making those comments look like even bigger haters.

  • Tina Posted: Mar.17 at 12:50 am
    Have some compassion. No wife wants to share her man. I am sure the public scrutiny and pics have to be embarrassing for her and the kids. She’s stuff she has always remained a lady. Mike now you must pay the lady.

  • userdady Posted: Mar.29 at 11:52 pm
    Swiss bank account if MJ was smart. Sell all assets and put the money in gold and platinum and bury it in the ground then get a divorce. Once divorced you can by more Charlotte Bobcats stock than ever before.

  • userdady Posted: Mar.29 at 11:57 pm
    Kobe Byrant listen to me. Liquidate everything and buy platinum so you can put it in a small hole where no one can find it. Vanessa and kids can have it if they remain faithful til your departing.

  • kc cristian Posted: May.28 at 4:28 pm
    Sometimes men don’t know what they have until it’s gone. Juanita is one of a kind. She successfully raised three beautiful children and loved a man that ‘we’ the fans only ‘used’ to make our lives happier. We don’t know Michael; she does. May he return in all sincerity to the wife of his youth and may she not keep a record of wrongs. Peace unto their household.

  • Nilly tha kid Posted: Jun.15 at 12:00 pm
    Good, look at that chick…ewww!How did the greatest basketball player in NBA history with almost every record in league history or at least his hand on every record,end up with a B*#$@ named Juanita anyway. He’s a bamillionaire times a trillion anyway. Hey MJ pay that ho off and start BALLIN!

  • unknown Posted: Aug.1 at 12:34 am
    hey mike its been so long u were married to your wife even if u think u are right most of the time i will consider counselling so u can be a good role model for your kids
    u are the greatest icon ever on planet earth come on mike show some good example

  • tredelta Posted: Aug.4 at 2:46 am
    Juanita you were the luckiest woman on EARTH to wake-up next to the SEXIEST man on the planet!!! I would go see Mike play when he was a TAR-HEEL and me and Brad remain friends to this day. Keep your head up Omega Man this Delta STILL thinks you are the greatest. Life goes on. There are plenty of women who wish that they were in your shoes to have loved Michael J. Be OWT Tail DAWG!!!!!

  • fa Posted: Sep.13 at 8:44 am
    mike shoulden never marryed her or the prenup juanita get over it and be ind and make a buisness get ur own money

  • LAVERDADDUELE Posted: Oct.27 at 10:44 pm
    Juanita trapped a guy that was taught to marry a girl if she is pregnant,His mistake was to married her , He should have paid the child support only, and continue with his life

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