Saturday, December 6th, 2008 at 12:00 pm  |  21 responses

Line Of The Night — Pivot Friday

…and Big Baby wants to know how K.G. can be so Dr. Evil.

Yao Mingerby Shannon Booher

A moment of silence for the end of the Death Ray Goggle Era…and now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Line Of The Night:

Yao Ming — 33 points, 14 boards, 5 assists, 1 steal, 1 block

Domination, baby (word to Method Man). Yao put it on the Warriors Friday night, taking full advantage of his physical stature, drawing foul after foul after foul, and getting to the line 19 times. He fouled out Andris Biedrins and Ronny Turiaf, and had Anthony Randolph, Stephen Jackson and Corey Maggette taking ridiculous turns at guarding him. “Shrimp in the edifice!”, he cried all night long.

Beast Of The Night:

Dwight Howard — 23 boards, 21 points, 6 blocks

Oh, so Chris Wilcox, Johan Petro and Joe Smith can’t guard Howard? OKC is still horrid under new coach Scotty Brooks, but definitely more entertaining with Russell Westbrook at the helm. Let’s hope Earl Watson gets O.J.-time on the bench.

Must. Not. Comment!Contraction Club Of The Night:

Portland Blazers — 78 points vs. The Ceatles

Now THAT’s what a contender looks like, Portland. And another moment of silence to hear all of the WAAAAY too easy jokes resulting from Big Baby Davis literally crying in the fourth quarter after K.G. gave him an ol’ ear whuppin’. Come on, man. Honestly? Your nickname is Big Baby and you give us the classic cry face on national TV?

Indiana Pacers — 73 points vs. The LeBrons

The reward for upsetting the Lakers? Smashtime the next two games courtesy of the Beasts Of The East: Boston and Cleveland.

Clippers lucky to avoid this list… only a couple J.R. Smith-esque garbage time heaves from Boom Dizzle got the Clip Joint over 80.

Near Oscar Robertson Of The Night:

LeBron James — 11 points, 11 assists, 8 boards, 3 blocks, 1 steal

This is like an Old (present) Jason Kidd NTD. Biggest disappointment of the night, though, was provided by LeBron, but through no fault of his own. During the Boston/Portland broadcast, the halftime host said something like “stay tuned at halftime for one of the best LeBron dunks ever.” A nice dunk, sure, but maybe not in LeBron’s Top 50.

An honorable mention to Paul Millsap, of all people. He’s a five-star general in the double-double world, but triples? He approached “near” status, but fell one dime short. Wow.

Status Quo Of The Night:

Welcome to the NBA, Jay Triano! Toronto’s new coach, faced with the unenviable task Sorry circumstancesof going into the hardest arena to visit in the League, took a 27-point L. Somewhere, Sam Mitchell was laughing at his suit. And wishing he had that Vince Carter locker room scuffle on video.

Eat Your Breakfast Of The Night:

“Have some of this hot, Queens, quinoa, Ronny!”, said Ron Artest.

Actual quote from a Wizards announcer the other day, following a drive and lay-up by Portland’s Steve Blake: “Steve Blake… unstoppable” Um, really?… Kevin Ollie is not the answer… If you felt an extreme sense of peace and ease for a brief moment Thurs. night, we know the reason. For a few beautiful seconds, J.R. Smith dribbled in the corner, guarded by Manu Ginobili, and then executed a beautiful behind-the-back dribble move. All was right in the world of L.O.N. with those two going head-to-head… Marvin Williams–that’s American for good, solid basketball… Does Jermaine O’Neal’s knee brace have hydraulics? It definitely has candy paint. Wood grain?… Can we get an Avery Johnson/Bill Walton Christmas duets album? Awesome…

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  • B. Long Posted: Dec.6 at 12:23 pm
    Great L.O.N. but the Eat Your Breakfast was kinda weak.

  • Darksaber Posted: Dec.6 at 12:49 pm
    hot queens quinoa. Classic

  • awesomepossum Posted: Dec.6 at 12:59 pm
    still dont get how KG made him cry?

  • ti-sizz Posted: Dec.6 at 1:31 pm
    “Shrimp in the edifice”!!!!!!!! lmao, that cracked me up

  • ti-sizz Posted: Dec.6 at 1:32 pm
    .. and dirk, that’s how you handle three-foot midgets (says charles barkley)

  • h-wag Posted: Dec.6 at 2:20 pm
    Are 21 boards & 6 boards something like 15 assists & 3 dimes ?

  • B. Long Posted: Dec.6 at 2:29 pm
    Should be 6 blocks h-wag. And I’d just like to point out to the Slam public that yesterday I predicted exactly how many points and assists that Corey Maggette would score on the Worthy of your attention post. Check it. 1st Comment. B.Longstradomus just doesn’t sound very fly though. Maybe I should open an educated guess line like Miss Cleo!

  • Tarzan Cooper Posted: Dec.6 at 2:57 pm
    its good to see yao go off, heres to yao playing the rest of the season

  • nastierthanyou Posted: Dec.6 at 3:00 pm
    F slam for that. Isn’t this what vets are suppose to do. Has anyone ever heard of tough love. You zoom a camera in to a guys face because he’s upset. It’s amazing what fans and media will do when someone cares so much about something they’ve been doing for all but 7 years of there life. Passion for the game is what put tears in big babies eyes. I love to see it. What happened @ that very momemt could turn up the notch for Big Baby. I ask you this. Wouldn’t it be great to Eddy Curry in tears. Won’t happen because he don’t care. Besides when has the last the editor the slam mag and this site shed any tears after writing an article. BLOOD SWEAT TEARS are building blocks for championships. Besides all slam really does is pole jock ballers cause you can’t. If that’s gonna be the case you should be a little more understanding when situations like this arise

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Dec.6 at 3:02 pm
    Kevin Love dished out something hot to Vince Carter as well.

  • the baconator Posted: Dec.6 at 3:26 pm
    Yo guys, I need your prayers. A teammate of mine’s father recently died, and calling hours were today. Both varsity and jv teams went to them, and it was really emotional cuz we like this kid a lot. Prayers and thoughts would be greatly appreciated. R.I.P. Jon Norton’s dad!!!

  • Glen Davis Posted: Dec.6 at 4:56 pm
    :[

  • L.O.N. » Blog Archive » Line Of The Night — 12/05/2008 NBA Basketball Posted: Dec.6 at 5:12 pm
    [...] As seen on SLAMOnline: [...]

  • Moose Posted: Dec.6 at 5:17 pm
    RIP indeed, Baconator. Sorry to hear about that.

  • Shannon Booher Posted: Dec.6 at 5:19 pm
    No doubt, bacon. Thoughts are with you, indeed. To you nastier… I actually think it’s great as well. And KG even said in the post game interview that he was gonna go “get deep” with Big Baby, so it’s probably going to bring the whole team together and make them better. The Eddy Curry reference is perfect.

  • Teddy-the-Bear Posted: Dec.6 at 5:24 pm
    Condolences, baconator.

  • mole Posted: Dec.6 at 5:36 pm
    man big baby crying on the bench was hilarious last night. haha. He should be grateful he landed on a good team. Hes lucky the sonics traded him to the cs or his fat ass would be sitting the bench i ok city right now

  • FLUXLAND Posted: Dec.6 at 9:12 pm
    Yeah, what was that idiot talking about with the LeBron dunk. You realize I spent the rest of that q imagining all sorts of thing. I thought he did a somersault and dunked or a 720 in traffic or dunked someone thru the hoop with the ball, I was expecting some video game type ish. Nothing. Whoever that guy was, he needs to be fired immediately and banned from sports forever. Idiot.
    –
    The Raptors are a complete trainwreck, like some thought they would be. 50plus games and 2nd round, my ass. Lottery, baby! Here we come.

  • Teddy-the-Bear Posted: Dec.7 at 6:15 pm
    On a side note…
    Yao Ming kicks @ss.

  • NosebleedSeats aka THEnewEDDYcurry Posted: Dec.7 at 7:37 pm
    …I’ve been yelled at by a teammate, and I never cried. Guess I don’t love “the game” enough.

  • B. Long Posted: Dec.7 at 11:57 pm
    Sorry bout that Baconator. Prayers are with you.

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