Thursday, February 5th, 2009 at 9:27 am  |  78 responses

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Line Of The Night – L.eBr.O.N.

You can’t spell LeBron without L.O.N.

by Shannon Booher

Line Of The Night AKA Triple-Double Of The Night:

LeBron James — 52 points, 11 assists, 10 boards, 2 blocks

No question on this one. The Kobe-hating part of our office wanted the King to go for at least 62. However, the side of the office that likes sunshine and carefree frolicking, was excited LeBron put HIS signature on the game. A triple-double is more his style. And 52 points + 11 * 2 (at least) = 74 points. So he accounted for more offense than Kobe’s 61 and 3 anyway, right?

But on the reel-to-reels, these inflated stat lines should not be getting as much play as they are, since they are coming against the D’Antoni Knicks. After all, this is the same system that produced the two sham Steve Nash MVPs. Shouldn’t the Knicks be angry the League’s stars look at the them as the team they are going to try and set records against?

Fat Lever Of The Night:

Stephen Jackson — 30 points, 11 boards, 10 assists, 2 steals, 1 block

Wow, his first one? He has been close before, but he finally did it, Brooklyn, last night against the Suns in a victory.

Near Triple-Double Of The Night:

Jermaine O’Neal — 22 points, 9 boards, 9 blocks, 4 assists

Almost the rarely seen triple-double with blocks. It was not enough to help the Raptors shine some light on their disappointing season, however, as they took a home L to the Lakers. Biggest bust team in the League this year, right? Somebody please get Anthony Parker in the Playoffs, though. Really. On a legit contender, preferably.

NBA-Tinged Lyric Of The Night:

“When they see you coming down and you outta luck/They gon look at you and say that clown/gassed up, you can hear it when he talkin’/Scored a couple points and now he thinkin’ he Jordan,” “Amnesia”

Pa-poose, pa-poose. This joint is fire. It’s over a classic Sade beat, and Pap goes in.

Everybody’s talking about an economic stimulus plan, but what we want from Barack is some sort of stimulus to get Papoose or Saigon to put out an official album. Soon.

Shaqism Of The Night:

Shaq on his new intro ritual:

“‘The guys holding me up are called ‘The LPC,” O’Neal declared. ‘The Levitation Process Crew. It’s because I levitate above all competition. And of course, because there is no such thing as levitation, I need a Levitation Process Crew. This Gentleman in my Arms,” he said pointing at Alando Tucker, “shows that we have trust in each other because he’s just diving into my arms – and I just want to let him know that I got his back. It’s a symbol of trust.’”

Keep ‘em coming, Shaq.

Honestly, Give Durant The Ball In Crunch Time Of The Night:

Looks like every time Denver and OKC get together it’s gonna go to right to the end, culminating in some manner of spectacularity. Last night Carmelo came out on top again, hitting a ridiculous runner. We are still angry though, that Kevin Durant’s teammates do not fully realize the capo status he has attained. GIVE THE MAN THE BALL! In the final few minutes, Russell Westbrook actually waved him off, then ended up shooting a fadeaway jumper that had absolutely no chance! Come on, y’all. Let the man live.

The Pistons took down the Heat in a battle for Eastern Conference mediocrity supremacy. Good, close game, too… How gross does this Hornets team look without CP3?…