Thursday, February 5th, 2009 at 9:27 am  |  78 responses

Line Of The Night – L.eBr.O.N.

You can’t spell LeBron without L.O.N.

by Shannon Booher

Line Of The Night AKA Triple-Double Of The Night:

LeBron James — 52 points, 11 assists, 10 boards, 2 blocks

No question on this one. The Kobe-hating part of our office wanted the King to go for at least 62. However, the side of the office that likes sunshine and carefree frolicking, was excited LeBron put HIS signature on the game. A triple-double is more his style. And 52 points + 11 * 2 (at least) = 74 L.O.N.points. So he accounted for more offense than Kobe’s 61 and 3 anyway, right?

But on the reel-to-reels, these inflated stat lines should not be getting as much play as they are, since they are coming against the D’Antoni Knicks. After all, this is the same system that produced the two sham Steve Nash MVPs. Shouldn’t the Knicks be angry the League’s stars look at the them as the team they are going to try and set records against?

Fat Lever Of The Night:

Stephen Jackson — 30 points, 11 boards, 10 assists, 2 steals, 1 block

Wow, his first one? He has been close before, but he finally did it, Brooklyn, last night against the Suns in a victory.

Near Triple-Double Of The Night:

Jermaine O’Neal — 22 points, 9 boards, 9 blocks, 4 assists

Almost the rarely seen triple-double with blocks. It was not enough to help the Raptors shine some light on their disappointing season, however, as they took a home L to the Lakers. Biggest bust team in the League this year, right? Somebody please get Anthony Parker in the Playoffs, though. Really. On a legit contender, preferably.

NBA-Tinged Lyric Of The Night:

“When they see you coming down and you outta luck/They gon look at you and say that clown/gassed up, you can hear it when he talkin’/Scored a couple points and now he thinkin’ he Jordan,” “Amnesia”

Pa-poose, pa-poose. This joint is fire. It’s over a classic Sade beat, and Pap goes in.

Everybody’s talking about an economic stimulus plan, but what we want from Barack is some sort of stimulus to get Papoose or Saigon to put out an official album. Soon.

Shaqism Of The Night:

Shaq on his new intro ritual:

“‘The guys holding me up are called ‘The LPC,” O’Neal declared. ‘The Levitation Process Crew. It’s because I levitate above all competition. And of course, because there is no such thing as levitation, I need a Levitation Process Crew. This Gentleman in my Arms,” he said pointing at Without Chris, the Hornets one of the worst?Alando Tucker, “shows that we have trust in each other because he’s just diving into my arms – and I just want to let him know that I got his back. It’s a symbol of trust.’”

Keep ‘em coming, Shaq.

Honestly, Give Durant The Ball In Crunch Time Of The Night:

Looks like every time Denver and OKC get together it’s gonna go to right to the end, culminating in some manner of spectacularity. Last night Carmelo came out on top again, hitting a ridiculous runner. We are still angry though, that Kevin Durant’s teammates do not fully realize the capo status he has attained. GIVE THE MAN THE BALL! In the final few minutes, Russell Westbrook actually waved him off, then ended up shooting a fadeaway jumper that had absolutely no chance! Come on, y’all. Let the man live.

The Pistons took down the Heat in a battle for Eastern Conference mediocrity supremacy. Good, close game, too… How gross does this Hornets team look without CP3?…

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  • Ken

    I will grudgingly concede that LBJ deserves this.

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Eboy

    “The Pistons took down the Heat in a battle for Eastern Conference mediocrity supremacy”.

    That’s about as accurate as you can get.

    Oh….Lebron is just horrible.

  • Ken

    In all seriousness, superstars looking at the Knicks as a chance to pad their stats reminds me of the Clippers of old, when guys like DRob and Shaq would go into their games looking to score 60, 70 points. Oh wait, the current Clippers are kinda like that…

  • http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=RBQEmmgDl9I Boing Dynasty

    I guess its worth it for JO getting banged on from time to time, when he gets to host block partys like last night. I feel like that dude Powell’s soul was crying after getting his shot punched on back the back plays, the second including the always embassasing collapse to the floor followed by a whole lot of sh!t talk from JO. Maybe close out the win tho next time Raptors? No? Oh, okay then.

  • http://www.another48minutes.blogspot.com Gerard Himself

    Speaking of the Warriors, I wrote a huge blog about Don Nelson, check it out.
    Yes, I am a whore.

  • http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=RBQEmmgDl9I Boing Dynasty

    SB, for enough NBA tinged lyrics to last you till the playoffs, peep Duo Live ft Joell Ortiz, Red Cafe, MOP – “Shootin”. It also features one of the most hilariously ignorant verses of all time by the one and only uncle munda.

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ TADOne

    Jermaine O’Neal is auditioning for the screenplay “Escape from Toronto part 2: The Bosh Years”.

  • The Last Kings Fan

    I will now smile every time my school calls a meeting for LPC. Thank you shaq.

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ TADOne

    Whatever a Josh Powell is, he got his sh*t thrown by JO last night.

  • riggs

    saigon got ripped by joe budden…album? hahahaha

  • http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=RBQEmmgDl9I Boing Dynasty

    Indeed, theres no crying in basketball(mr davis), but i would have let young josh slide, had a tear slipped last night.

  • Mendel

    The Real LINE of the night: D,Antoni says, loosly pharaphrased, “Yeah LeBrons a good player. But were not playing against LeBron were playing against the Cavs and we only lost by five points due to a couple errors and not getting a stop”

  • Michael

    wow..regardless of the opposition, we are lucky there are two guys in the league capable of performances like these. as for Lebron, barring some catastrophe i cant see a scenario where he doesnt wind up as statistically the greatest player ever.

  • Syk

    I was at the Raptors/Lakers game last night and it was just crazy. The JO block, then the Powell block and then JO coming back with another block and trashing talking Josh was a great sequence of basketball. One thing I do want to point out is that Gasol was an absolute beast against the Raps. They didn’t have an answer for him at all. If Kobe didn’t take so many bad shots in the 3rd and passed it inside to Pau, I’m guessing Pau could have easily had 45. Oh yeah, Lebron’s line last night was NASTY!

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Eboy

    Oh yeah…..amongst all the fantastic NBA games and happenings last night…..no one’s mentioned the fantastic choke job Duke pulled off against Clemson. Yes..it was a great night!

  • http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=RBQEmmgDl9I Boing Dynasty

    Syk, Luke Ridnour could beast the Raptors in the paint.

  • The Seed

    “After all, this is the same system that produced the two sham Steve Nash MVPs. Shouldn’t the Knicks be angry the League’s stars look at the them as the team they are going to try and set records against?” Great Article and line, Kobe and Shaq-Miami want there MVP’s back Steve “one hit wonder” Nash.

  • http://slamonline.com Ben Osborne

    <

  • EC

    Nash is a fraud and Lebron and Kobe are sick

  • http://where-basketball-b-longs.blogspot.com/ B. Long

    Rasheed Wallace has Basketball Alzheimer’s. It’s like when your grandpa forgets where he’s at and start’s punching his male nurse and cursing about the Koreans.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    That’s 39.3, 7.7, and 7.0 over the last three games… but I know Line of the Past Six Nights doesn’t have the same right to it.

  • http://lastknickstanding.blogspot.com Bryan

    So Lebron had to score fifty and drop a triple double to barely beat the knicks that doesn’t bode well for the cavs chances (sarcasm directed at the people who said that about Kobes 61)

  • http://double-technical.blogspot.com Zee!

    Duke vs UNC next week. Niiice. And last night was insane. That’ll always be the knock on KB24, is that he never was a passer, just a cold blooded scorer. But I ask you all, who would you start your team with if you were a GM?

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ TADOne

    Zee, thanks for opening Pandora’s Box.

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Eboy

    Shia has no self-respect left as his team is continually ass-r*ped by team after team and superstar after superstar, soiling their already poor recent history with more and more embarrasment. Someone post a r*pe hotline number for him.

  • http://double-technical.blogspot.com Zee!

    @TAD Well we already know who MVP is. So there’s no debate there. Might as well ask the unanswerable question.

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Eboy

    Too easy………….Kevin Love.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    BTW, Holly’s continued refusal to do Post Ups after LeBron goes off is getting to be a problem. Her negativity is really unfortunate.

  • http://www.manutd.com Z

    I’d start my team with Ty Thomas. He’s been having tremendous upside potential (TUP) for the last 3 years. His potential is basically exponential at this point. I think it’s safe to say that he can potentially have as much potential as anyone in the history of the L when it’s all said and done. Ceteris paribus and all, he definitely has a case.

  • JamesPH

    Who’s better? Lebron or Kobe? Kobe or Lebron? Cha-chiiiing! iid say i know why kobe changed from 8 to 24, because he’s more than jordan (or lebron), even the number speak for itself.. tru dat!

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    he, thought Holly was off entertaining friends, Ryan?

  • JoeMaMa

    Shannon Booher is a sham writer.
    Steve Nash has two MVPs. He put up crazy numbers on a team and won lots of games.
    Steve Nash is probably a better writer than Shannon Booher.
    Trash talk his hair, or his constant licking of fingers. But hating on his TWO MVPs is pathetic.

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    lots of near trip.doubs last night. Wade was also close enough (loved how Prince fouled Wade on the last play at halfcourt, froze, then realizing refs didn’t call it, berated the closest ref and forgot his defensive assignment. Great move, Tay)

  • tenorca

    I love that the Warriors can beat the Celts, Hornets, and Suns yet get dominated by the Bobcats and Grizzlies. They make no sense at all.

  • http://where-basketball-b-longs.blogspot.com/ B. Long

    @Tenorca:Have they ever?

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    imo, a fifty point triple double is one of those platinum type seldom achieved statlines. Along with a quad.doub. And 20 rebound or 10 block games. Dont care about the opponent, its the bloody nba. That was amazing.

  • http://www.manutd.com Z

    If it’s possible to be a a first ballot HOF and overrated at the same time. Well, that’s pretty much Steve Nash. Soon people will think he was as good as Zeke, Stockton, GP (I left Magic out intentionally because nobody is crazy enough to suggest that).

  • http://double-technical.blogspot.com Zee!

    Z it’s all about the TUP baby

  • http://fdklf.com Jukai

    Instead of trying to debate in any reasonable way, I’ll just say Shannon Booher is a racist and doesn’t like white people and that’s why he thinks the way he does of Steve Nash.

  • http://fdklf.com Jukai

    What the hell is up with this Z? You crazy talking now. Nash is nearly averaging a double double (and will at the end of the year) in this BS hosh-posh offense that Kerr set up. What the hell does the man have to do to get superstar status, 20 assists a game?

  • tenorca

    B. Long: You’re right, of course. Most teams would’ve tried to keep the unit together who caught fire, upset the Mavs, and held their own against Utah in the playoffs two years back. Not the Dubs though. No. They traded JRich for a guy that still doesn’t get much PT, miss the playoffs by a game or three, sign young guard with penchant for riding sissy-scooters, then bring in a redundant lineup of shot happy swingmen. And now they suck all over again. That didn’t take long.

  • Sparker

    if it was all d’antoni, chris duhon would be averaging 19 and 11, be in contention for his first mvp and leading his team towards a deep playoff run in a real conference. you nash haters are becoming a serious bore

  • http://www.manutd.com Z

    Jukai, he’s got superstar status on lock. He’s just not back-to-back MVP worthy. That’s not a knock on him, very few people are. However, that does make him overrated.

  • k1d Crush

    hey lebron is better than aaron brooks… hey lebron is better than the whole houston rockets…

  • WhaHuh

    The stars really came out last night. Kobe, LeBron, Mayo, Carmelo, Harrington, Gasol, Jackson and Durant all had 30+ point games

  • kane

    haha screw that gay kid crush!!!!! aaron brooks could probably dunk over lebron!!!

  • k1d Crush

    you look gay from the back with that blue sweater…

  • http://fdklf.com Jukai

    Z: I agree he’s not back-to-back MVP worthy. Really, I do. What pisses me off is the thought process which was that he didn’t even deserve the one. The dude -CLEARLY- deserved one of them… he only got the second MVP pretty much because there was no one freaking else to give it to (really weak year in terms of super stars in basketball).
    To me, Nash is a top-ten all-time point guard. Of course, once Chris Paul and Deron Williams mature, he probably wont be anymore… but sometimes I feel Nash would have been better off only winning one MVP, therefore people wouldn’t be so god damn pissed at him for it.

  • http://fdklf.com Jukai

    Also, everything Sparks said.

  • kane

    haha y u looking at me!!!! i’m taken!!!!!! and u look gay wit a white shirt

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