SLAMonline Mock Draft: Tyreke Evans, No. 9
This is the remix!
With the ninth pick in the 2009 SLAMonline Mock Draft, the Toronto Raptors select… (Biz Markie voice) REMIX!
Stern: With the ninth pick of the 2009 NBA Draft, the Toronto Raptors select…
(Black Bush rushes the stage)
B. Bush: WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, Ladies ‘n Gentlemen… A change of flow is in order! Secretary of MOS DEFense will announce the pick. And now…
(The crowd looks shell-shocked. Didn’t this guy retire after a $50 million contract? He was the Allan Houston of jokes.)
Secretary of MOS DEFense: I’ll repeat it so you ain’t got to press rewind. The ninth pick be disguised as welcome signs. And the signs point to… TOO EASY! This ain’t yellow cake from the motherland, this ain’t aluminum tubes… This is Tyreke Evans.
That’s right residents of Toronto, rest easy, too easy in fact. We finally have that missing piece! As we speak, our season tickets are being sold out. As we speak, Chris Bosh is noticeably happier. He might not request a trade now. Can you imagine this starting five:
1: Jose Calderon
2: Tyreke Evans
3: Shawn Marion
4: Chris Bosh
5: Andrea Bargnani
Back to Tyreke Evans. Sure, like Knicks GM Russ Bengtson s
aid, “The kid’s only 19, and he couldn’t hit a perimeter shot if you paid him.” That much is true. But I’m drafting him to… What’s the term? “Here to f*ck shit up.” (Thanks Will Ferrell.) He’s going to be slashing to the hole every chance he gets. We’re going to run defenses ragged.
You remember when Tony Parker wasn’t allowed to shoot outside of 15 feet? That’s Tyreke Evans, only he’s 6-6, loves hurting your feelings and enjoys ruining ankles. I have to admit, he really doesn’t shoot a basketball very well, in fact it looks somewhat like an Olympic shot-putter. But did you see that game against Missouri in the NCAA Tournament? He exploited them. It was NBA Live ‘09 on rookie mode!
After careful review of the game footage we realized something: Let him cut all day long. It will allow the Raptors to compensate for Bosh being more of a high post guy. It will bring drive and dish threes for Calderon and Kapono. They can be a similar squad in player make up to Memphis and their high octane set up. Perfect fit.
On the other end, I have to admit I considered a few players for the position. Jonny Flynn, for one. I feel he has a chance to be a Stephon Marbury-esque player (the one we had such high hopes for in Georgia Tech, not the so-called pariah). But at the end of the day, we’re committed to Jose. We just can’t justify another PG. We just got rid of T.J. Ford a while back; we’re all high on Jose. How does it look if we draft yet another floor general? I also considered Earl Clark, the potential injected swingman. Then I looked into our team makeup. The styles don’t fit. We don’t need a SF/PF. We needed a slasher.
Tyreke is admittedly one-dimensional at the moment, but that’s what we need from him right now. His skill set will fit to the point that we can start him from day one. This fits with his philosophy, his mindset. Everything about this pick makes our squad a playoff team. With the right work ethic, we can push for 50 wins.
ESPN, cue up the hyperbole, praise and talks of a high motor! Team 10? You’re up. This was Too Easy.
| 2009 SLAMonline Mock Draft Results | ||
| Pick | Team | Player |
| 1 | L.A. Clippers | Blake Griffin |
| 2 | Memphis Grizzlies | Hasheem Thabeet |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Thunder | Ricky Rubio |
| 4 | Sacramento Kings | Brandon Jennings |
| 5 | Washington Wizards | Jordan Hill |
| 6 | Minnesota Timberwolves | Demar DeRozan |
| 7 | Golden State Warriors | James Harden |
| 8 | New York Knicks | Stephen Curry |
| 9 | Toronto Raptors | Tyreke Evans |
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