SLAMonline Mock Draft: Jeff Teague, No. 26

In A Teague of His Own.

by Aaron Kaplowitz

With the 26th pick in the 2009 SLAMonline Mock Draft, the Chicago Bulls select…

Tyler Hansbrough
Omri Casspi
Paul Pfeiffer
Jeff Teague.

Do you remember that feeling in high school when you waited and waited to build up the courage to ask your dream date to the senior prom, only to find out that she accepted Gleich’s offer the day before, leaving you scrambling to find a buxom and willing coed on JDate.

Neither did I. Until now.

Giddy like a schoolgirl, I watched team after team pass on Tyler Hansbrough. I envisioned his huge eyes and bloody nose emerging from the red and white mesh uniform, as his grit and muscle authored the next great chapter in the UNC-Bulls relationship. And just before my Noah-Hansbrough all-hustle frontcourt was about to be realized, alas, Mark Madsen 2.0, my prom queen, was snatched away from me.

In a situation like this, you could go for the dependable Jdate pick, or you can learn your lesson from years past and explore the potential of a Craigslist Casual Encounter.

Although this sentence is sure to impair my locker room reportage, Jeff Teague is my Casual Encounter.

With the 26th pick, I’m playing with house money. I had committed myself to addressing our frontcourt needs, but in a draft short on big men, I’m prepared to take the best player available – even if his position has already been filled for the foreseeable future.

Drafting Teague into Derrick Rose’s system will gradually allow the former Wake Forest guard to develop into his natural off-guard position. His explosive first step is NBA-ready, and he’ll carry the scoring “burden” for a defensive-minded second squad.

As mentioned when drafting Sam Young with the 16th pick, Ben Gordon has no place in our future plans. Our starting five will feature Rose, John Salmons, Luol Deng, Tyrus Thomas and Brad Miller. To bolster our chances to counter LeBron, we will have the strongest second unit in the league with Kirk Heinrich, Teague, Young, DeMarcus Nelson and Noah. What the 2001-02 Sacramento Kings’ reserves were to offense the 2009-10 Chicago Bulls’ reserves will be to defense.

It is our intention to incorporate a stifling press into the second unit’s defensive scheme, adding Thomas’ length and athleticism to the pack. For ten minutes each game, the D-Unit will stymie the opponent from baseline to baseline, forcing turnovers, causing panic and changing the pace of the game much like a third down running back in football.

Of all the remaining players, Teague appears to have the most upside. Despite his slight frame,, he he could be a game changer on both ends of the floor. He should help clean up the residue from Gordon’s departure.

In mathematical terms Sam Young + Jeff Teague – Ben Gordon = Jean-Claude Van Damme.

As any true Bulls fan knows, this cannot possibly be a bad thing.