Saturday, December 26th, 2009 at 8:00 am  |  27 responses

Decade’s Worst: Jerseys

The ’03 Rockets and Thunder inflict fear to designers.

by Jonathan Evans

When it comes to unfortunate NBA jerseys there is certainly a healthy supply of candidates. Indeed the League has been ripe with jerseys that should have never seen the light of day. Even now as the decade is winding to a close, it seems as if teams are still fighting to set new lows for on court fashion. Amongst all the decade’s offenders, the hardest part is picking out the worst of the worst. In a world of clashing colors, garish fabrics, and unfortunate logos, there are two jerseys that stand out amongst the rest. The dubious honor of worst jersey of the decade is shared by the Rockets (1995-2003) and Thunder (2008-present).

Like other teams in the era, the Rockets convinced themselves that slapping their primary logo on the front of their jerseys as big as they would be a good idea. The Raptors and Hawks made similar moves with similarly disastrous results. Making room for the garish logo meant moving the number on the front of the jersey up and off center to the chest. This break with convention should have been the first indication for the Rockets that they weren’t on the right track. But no, they pushed forward to new depths of ugliness by butchering the very notion of pinstripes.

Pinstripes, in and of themselves, can be a fine detail that subtly adds depth to a jersey’s composition. The Rockets misfired in trying to be too clever. Instead of using them as a background element, they made them so think that you can’t not look at them. Yes, everything is bigger in Texas. But wait, it gets worse. As a finishing touch, these fat stripes were given a bit of flare with a gradient glow. Obviously the fatness wasn’t enough, these stripes have to glow. All and all, these jerseys look more like a costume to be mocked than a uniform to be respected.

The birth of these jerseys coincided with the end of Houston’s two-year championship run. Whether this is a coincidence or aesthetic karma is up to the basketball Gods. Nonetheless moving forward the Rockets should be in good graces now that they have atoned for their aesthetic sins with a new clean and inspired look.

The Rockets getups were indeed a colossal failure but at least they had the guts to swing for the fences. It’s one thing to step up in the batter’s box swing and miss. Another, arguably more offensive failure is when a team doesn’t even step up to the plate. If the Rockets struck out swinging, than the Thunder get called out for bunting foul with two strikes. Their jerseys rank as the decades worst not just for ugliness but also for their uninspired blandness.

Point blank it looks like the Thunder didn’t even try. Their entire branding strategy looks as if they were given 30 minutes and Microsoft Paint and told not to get to crazy. Granted the pull for a solid, quiet look that doesn’t repeat the failures of teams that tried to do too much is well intentioned. But that position doesn’t mean that the jersey should be devoid of personality or aesthetic intent. The shortcomings of the jersey should not be much of a surprise after the Thunder’s logo was initially released. A poster on The Denver Egotist put this together which pretty thoroughly outlines how the Thunder essentially ignore basic design fundamentals.

The home jerseys, in all their generic high-school like glory, are quietly competent. Overall they’re pretty clean, and in taking cues from other NBA jerseys, they blend in without distinguishing themselves in anyway. The only subtle offense on the home whites may be the navy blue piping accents. The color looks out of place as its nowhere else in the jersey and calls attention as to why the team has two contrasting shades of blue in its color scheme in the first place. That minor detail aside, the home jersey is decently average. If the Thunder were a franchise that has been around we would likely turn the other way. But for a team needing to embrace a new identity it shrinks from the challenge. A sin that is multiplied many times over when looked at the dullness that is their road jersey.

Let’s begin with the color. As renowned uniform blogger Paul Lukas has already pointed out – the sky blue is an odd color choice for a team named after ominous weather patterns. Also, seeing as how 16 other teams wear blue on the road, going another way could be an opportunity to establish a unique identity. Instead it looks like the Thunder decided to slap together the Nuggets and Warriors colors and call it a day. The blue works as a banal, safe choice. Ultimately it’s the tope wallpaper of NBA jerseys.

Moving on, the font adds to the disappointment with the Thunder road jersey. For a team so proud of its new permanent home, the lettering for “Oklahoma City” is wispy and wimpy and doesn’t at all look bold or proud. Further, their size and placement of the text looks squeezed and uncomfortable. It’s understandable that the long city name makes it difficult to place on a jersey, but it’s not impossible to make it work. During their stint in the area, the Hornets figured out a solid way to make the “Oklahoma City” text work in a confident manner. Instead of showing pride in their city’s name the font looks more like something from a computer screen. Watch out western conference, here comes the Blue Screen of Death.

The recent creamsicle sneaker gimmick was cute but more than anything, it pointed out that a guy that could be a marketing force in the League is stuck wearing some unfortunate colors. Having a once in a generation talent like Durant is obviously something that a team should want to take advantage of. That, coupled with the circumstances around the move from Seattle almost demanded that the Thunder create a strong identity to rally around. The haphazard and lazy product does not do that. One can only hope that the uninspired jersey will take its rightful place in the jersey graveyard and Durant and Co. will one day get a jersey that matches the promise of their talent.

***

For more Decade Awards, check out the archive.

  • Add a Comment
  • Share
  • RSS

Tags: , , , ,

  • Nadav

    a column about jerseys and no photos? really?

  • erik

    for real, pictures really would have added much to this article. im sure it only would have taken a couple of minutes to find and post them. poor effort

  • LeoneL

    I kinda think that that Pistons uni you have linked to is kinda good.

  • letsmotor

    i liked this pistons jersey too. i don’t see what’s so awful about the thunder jersey either. for me, that gold wizards uni is by far the ugliest.

  • tinchek

    well you have all the pictures and more in the links. poster from the denver egotist was awesome. great piece :)

  • d.j.

    the new rockets is the ugliest in L right now, as is any of the suns jerseys.. the raptors that carter wore on the beginning of the decade that was all black in the back with the dinosaur on the front is one of the nicest ones, idk why you would think that it is ugly… they need to look at euro jerseys more they actually make sense they got some nice ones over there…

  • Sporting-Lisbon-Blazers

    thunder road jersey is UGLY

  • http://360silkscreening.com JR

    The Dallas trashbags this decade were pretty bad. They looked like they were sponsored by Hefty!

  • doyouwantmore

    I’m a Sacramento fan and even I think the old gold joints were about as ugly as it gets. Do throwbacks that the team wore during the decade count?

  • http://www.hibachi20.blogspot.com BETCATS

    i actually really like the thunder jerseys. Phuck the haters

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    The jerseys with the logos on them are AWESOME. The look great! What’s lacking on today’s jerseys is a little creativity. Really? The New Jersey Nets jerseys were a candidate for best jersey of the decade? They were plain as paper, and not even white paper–grey paper. Those Nets jerseys were just chunks of dull grey. On the other hand, the Raptors, Pistons, and Hawks jerseys with the logos on them looked great.
    Also, the Philly jerseys during AI’s prime are better than the Laker jerseys, in my opinion.

  • kevin

    thunder isnt that bad…

  • Vince5

    I never liked the Rockets one (1995-2003).

  • Young C

    Hey kev and BET, you dont happen to be legally blind by any chance?

  • http://www.hibachi20.blogspot.com BETCATS

    what did you just say Young C? I couldnt read it, the braile feature on my laptop just turned off. I have no idea what i just typed.

  • http://www.hibachi20.blogspot.com Hursty

    ^LMAO.
    The Houston Rockets of 2009/10, Officially sponsored by McDonald’s. THOSE are the worst jerseys around right now. (Said from a Rockets fan).
    The Thunder jerseys aren’t that bad.
    Portland’s ones are pretty average too mind you.
    Remember everyone biatching about how the Hawks had stolen Team USA’s jersey? Yeh. It looks good.

  • http://www.clutchfans.net nick

    Hurst: serious disagree. Yes, the new rockets alternates are “mcdonalds” colors…but they are also classic, championship era rockets colors, and are damn fresh if you ask me. Certainly better than the 95-03 pajamas.

  • http://nextgg.com DMC14

    Pistons uni at begining of decade is my least favourite (one with the horse on it). i remember seeing it for the first time and just hating it. i didn’t mind the hawks one.

  • nastierthanu

    The pistons joints were garbage but the wizards joints were atrocious. Still personally the worst of the millenia would have to be the all star game jerseys that were carolina blue with the cactus on them back n the day.

  • J

    houston’s unis are ugly, but the Mavs silver alt, Kings gold, and memphis alternates are the worst unis. damn, any uniform that is too shiny is ugly.

  • J

    okc’s unis are too simple i agree, but it’s not ugly at all.

  • Rus

    Not just the uniforms but the logo and colors do look weak and below NBA par put together on short notice. when i first saw the logo i thought it was temporary and would be changed mid-first season or something once they figured it out! hopefully the Thunder will get rid of them early in this decade. The current Houston Rox jerseys look like someone said ok market to china and they drove the red point home but took personality out of everything….sell outs__still my team though. anything’s better than the loaded ’95-’03 jerseys of course.

  • Hussman25

    I will not agree with the choice as the Rockets Jersey was the last that CB34/CB4 wore while in H-Town! OKC is plain, but not ugly; the worst are those HIDEOUS alternate Silver unis Memphis has Now! Looks like a flash back to Bad Boy 98… NO MORE SHINNY SUITS! (SB:Got 2 love the Lox!)

  • Jon

    WHAT?! all this hate for a bland jersey? the title says decade’s worst. the thuder’s jersey is so so bland, but it is hardly the worst! if anything, its bad but not decades worst. decades worst UNDOUBTEDLY goes to the vancouver grizzlies. everything they wore, from that big country teal green jerseys with bite marks as trimmings and a big teddy bear in front. thats the kinda jersey u see sold for $5 on the streets of thailand not worn by NBA players! urgh i feel sick….does anyone even know what jerseys im on about??? unless canada is not in the debate then this is the WORST EVER!

  • SWIFTboy

    What about the Hawks yellow jersey? http://www.nba.com/hawks/news/Third_Jersey_111504.html

  • Pingback: SLAM ONLINE | » Team S. Dot Timeout: Thumbs Up To Thunder Unis

  • Bobby

    Does anyone edit this column? Way “to” many spelling errors.

Advertisement