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Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009 at 12:53 pm  |  52 responses

Ron Ron Drinks, Plays and Shines

by Tzvi Twersky

Over the course of the past few months, Ron Artest has been all over the news. For good reasons, not so good reasons and no real reason. And, far as I can tell, as long as Artest’s in Hollywood, get used to seeing his name in your RSS feed.

We (Marcel) kind of called it in our initial Ron Artest to L.A. headline: “Ron Ron Comes to Hollywood.” Not “Ron comes to Los Angeles”. Not “Ron Signs With Lakers.” “Ron Comes to Hollywood.”

Ron wasn’t just joining the Lakers organization. He was joining a community of stars and starlets.

A byproduct of Ron Ron’s summer move to L.A.–and in retrospect, probably an intended one–was increased visibility. Everything is magnified in the City of Angels. Everything. Ron, always good for a quote or two and some laughs, has been taking full advantage of the bright lights (or, depending on how you look at it, been taken advantage of).

Ron’s been seen running around in his underwear, alternatively promoting his new songs and his new film. Most recently, Ron parlayed his new celebrity status and pecs into a magazine cover. Fitness RX, “Your Ultimate Perscription For The Perfect Body,” ran Ron Ron with his model chick friend, Nataline Avci. If you were unaware or just forget, Nataline is the same girl that Ron brought with him to an SI interview this fall–an interview that had no scheduled photoshoot accompanying it. Ron’s reason for bringing Ms. Avci? “[T]o have fun.”

When not promoting his offcourt self, or explaining the reasoning behind his latest jersey number or weighing in on Tiger Woods, Artest’s been telling people to blame a non-Championship season on him.

We have eight months to go, but as of a recent interview, if the Lakers don’t repeat  and you want to take Ron up on his offer, blame it on the a a a a a alcohol.

In an interview for an upcoming issue of Sporting News magazine, Ron told a writer–among other things–that “I used to drink Hennessy … at halftime…I (kept it) in my locker. I’d just walk to the liquor store (near the stadium) and get it.”

Other notable clips from the interview include: “When I was a 19-year-old father, whew. I was a single pimp! I was wild. A lot of marijuana and alcohol—even before (that age). … I (still) party and I have fun, but not like I used to. I used to drink every night and party every night;” and “I see Ben (Wallace), I’m on my guard now. I’m always in the mood to fight him. … I’ll get suspended 10 games, 15 games (because) I’ll just fight him right there. It won’t go into the stands.

Less than 20 games into his tenure as a Laker, it’s clear that Ron Artest finally has the audience and spotlight that he’s always desired.

Yes, Ron Ron is ready for Hollywood. The real question is: is the ‘Wood ready for him?

Ron Artest's newest Mag cover.

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  • http://www.nydn.com Matt Caputo

    Ronnie is the man. So is Tzvi.

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ TADOne

    I drink Henny on my lunch break and it’s just not the same.

  • tavoris

    She is a good look for Ron (or anybody, for that matter.

  • http://slamonline.com Allenp

    Wasn’t Ron married? I thought I remember an old school SLAM article about his wife. Wait, did they split up after that domestic violence thing in Sacremento?

  • el gee

    excellent.

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ TADOne

    I’m sure she will be next on Tiger’s “people to text” list.

  • http://www.realcavsfans.com Anton

    I’d malice all up in her palace.

  • http://slamonline.com Brad Long

    As long as he keeps doing his thing on the court and stays out of trouble he can go on Kimmel with his junk swinging for all I care. You know what is kind of wild about this whole situation? He has been doing EXACTLY what the Lakers need him to do and nobody is really talking about that. He’s almost fit into the triangle as easily as Pau did and that has to be scary for the other teams out there. Do I wish he was shooting his freebies better? Sure, but if he keeps doing what he is doing I’ll be happy all season.

  • tavoris

    co-sign Brad again. I feel like I have no original thought today, cuz u keep saying it first.

  • Tommy Patron

    Wow. I wonder what the deal is with the, “I’m always in the mood to fight him” thing. Stern won’t like that.

  • heartlandG

    I shmoked before I hooped but neva drank…lol thats funny tho, I know after a night drinkin and you hoop dat cognac be comin thru yo pores like a mutha…a ni99a be sweatin like when Barkley got pulled ova fo runnin thru a stop sign to get some head lol…this ni99a Ron need a reality tv show or sumthin

  • http://slamonline.com Ben Osborne

    We could make limit Top News items to just Ron Artest and Allen Iverson and suffer no drop-off in the amount of stories we ran.

  • Tommy Patron

    Also, it’s hilarious for me to visualize Ron Ron walking into that liquor store at Madison and Damen. Obviously no TMZ-stuff going on in that joint.

  • http://www.manutd.com Z

    I’m not convinced that Ron is doing anything for the Lakers that Ariza wasn’t doing already. Defense, shooting, chemistry, etc. At this point, I consider Ariza a better perimeter defender than Ron. I guess none of this matters as long as LA keeps murdering everybody. I just think it’s odd to (essentially) trade a very unassuming up and comer for a baggage-heavy older player who does exactly the same thing for you.

  • http://www.teflinprague.com SAB

    i’m guessing it’ll be a loooong time before we see a headline saying “Ron Artest Lacking Confidence”

  • http://myspace.com/brandnew Bryan

    Explains his shot selection.

  • Mike

    is artest still wearing those k1x sneakers ?

  • William

    The only thing left for us to consider is

    Who will be his A.C Cowlings, I have emergency popcorn and my favorite Pizza place on speed dial given that i live in L.A, I might as well get a comfy lawn chair just in case he uses a nearby freeway.

  • slamfan4life

    damn this dude is ripped as hell

  • http://slamonline.com Brad Long

    Z:really?

  • Sparker

    i was not aware of that si photo shoot, but i sincerely thank you for making me aware

  • tavoris

    @Z, people had no problem abandoning Ariza on D to double Kobe. Artest, not so much. Ariza is better at getting steals because of his length, but he’s nowhere near Artest, who makes offensive players think about what they’re gonna do.

  • http://www.manutd.com Z

    Brad Long, Tavoris: from the gaves i’ve seen this year, guys are NOT thinking twice about double-teaming Kobe on the block at all. Artest is getting the same looks and knocking down the same 3s that Ariza was knocking down in the playoffs last year. On defense, let’s remember that it was actually Battier who was getting the tough assignments last year. Artest’s feet are not moving like they used too, he’s quite heavy. Yes, he can still body up guys but I’ve seen him get blown by on numerous occasions. Basically, what I’m saying is the Lakers didn’t get better. Artest is a better player than Ariza ceteris paribus, but not necessarily a better fit for what is being asked of the sidekick wingman on that Lakers team.

  • http://www.manutd.com Z

    Honestly, I don’t care THAT much about the Artest-Ariza thing. It’s just not so obvious to me that the Lakers are better than they were last year.

  • http://www.sixers.com 360vue

    @Z I agree with you in some ways, but tavoris kind of hit the nail on the head; Ariza was so potent for lakers in playoffs because he got so many open looks. Now Pau, Kobe and Lamar will be findin their work considerably easier with the chances of doubleteam alot rarer. And at this moment Ron’s D is pretty much the finished article, Ariza needs to learn a fair bit to get to a similar standard. But still, considering they won the chip and one player is on the up, the other on the down I don’t think it was a strategically start move. At least Trevor gets to show us what he’s got at last though, he has been around for 5 or so seasons hasn’t he?

  • onions baby onions

    I always wondered if drinking the perfect amount of alcohol (aka not much at all) before a game could actually enhance athletic performance, because it would solve any confidence/overthinking issues. I kno Ron Ron only drank it at halftime (and hes also crazy), but just sayin, it would be an interesting experiment.

  • Shally

    I didnt know he was so ripped. Great article. Ron Ron is ridiculous. I didnt know he was a math major and a shadchan (match-maker)

  • tavoris

    Z-you’re correct that Artest is slower, but reputation goes a long way, especially when the Lakers are on their home court.

  • http://slamonline.com/ niQ

    @onions baby onions. You can try it out. But I can practically guarantee it will hinder your performance.

  • http://joe@aol.com Mike

    this act is getting old – quickly

  • http://thegayestwebsiteever.com Big Ben

    I don’t know, Ron Ron didn’t look like he was in the mood to fight Wallace the day of the brawl…

  • str8 from samoa

    dam str8 cut!!! u could be body builder too!! haha

  • Adam T

    “I’d malice all up in her palace” – LMAO Classic Anton

  • http://slamonline.com Dave

    Ahahah. Ronron, please don’t change.
    What is with prize defenders having so much damn personality? Worm, Ronron, Oak, all letting their mouth run wild.

  • http://myspace kenneth chavis

    Even at this point with Ariza’s improvement this year, Artest is still a much more complete player who not only rebounds better, but is also an underrated playmaker, solid post up player, and a better outside shooter than Ariza right now. Obviously, Ariza is 23 and Artest is 30, so in the long run Ariza would have been a better fit for the Lakers.

  • http://IJustWantMyNameToLookBig.com Chukaz

    i’d like to have fun wit her too…

  • http://badnewzballer John Cortez

    its funny how you guys continuously hate on Artest when the fact is you would love to have his game on your team. Im mainly talking to cav/celt/mav fan. stop hating already….gets old!

  • http://badnewzballer John Cortez

    “Basketball Diaries” drugs/alchy= NoNo playing ball

  • http://fjkld.com Jukai

    Chukaz is pretty much an unfunny Anton.

  • onions baby onions

    Haha wasn’t thinkin of trying it out niQ; I play college basketball, don’t think my coach would be too impressed with shots right before gametime. I just thought it would be an interesting experiment.

  • k.a.

    Kobe is either loving or hating all the attention rons hogging even if at this point kobes largely immune to the distraction. Phil probably loves it because its a way for ron to lay all the excess baggage off court.

  • letsmotor

    so who else is just waiting for a headline about ron artest’s wife murdering him?

  • snasty10

    drinking before a game i would not try, ive done it before, no depth perception, and you are gassed your first run up the court.

  • ClydeSays

    Ron could you, uh, get out of that picture. The girl can stay.

    I don’t believe much of what Ron says. Like the story said, Ron + Hollywood. A match made in hell.

  • juliusj14

    Artest is bigger and stronger than Ariza. The Lakers benefit from having him because in the playoffs Kobe won’t have to defend the bigger 3′s like Lebron and Carmelo, who Ariza couldn’t defend, for the entire game. The Lakers have a little more versatility with him as defender because of his size.

  • http://www.triplejunearthed.com/dacre Dacre

    If Ron Artest and Rodman ever played together you’d just draw a couple of early fouls and sit that matchup out really… I reckon even Jayson Williams would favour that route.

  • JoeMaMa

    Anton’s line broke my computer. Awesome.
    Ron-Ron should have a UFC match with Ben Wallace. Everyone wins there.

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    “i see Ben Wallace, i’m always in the mood to fight him”. Face, meet palm.

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    To hell with Avci, Ron, where Shin Shin at?

  • http://idunkonthem.blogspot.com/ albie1kenobi

    @Dark, you are never gonna let that down are you? can you try to find that article and re-link it for us?

  • nastierthanu

    Watch the malice in the palace again. Artest looks at wallace and goes the other way. He had his chance and backed off. He don’t want none of big ben. Old girl is bangin’ must be nice to be rich

  • dee

    dam that girl is sexy! please take Artest out the picture

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