Tuesday, March 30th, 2010 at 4:34 pm  |  10 responses

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Prokhorov and My Scooby-Doo Mug

A short story.

by Matt Lawyue / @mlawyue

“Add ‘Mikhail Prokhorov owning the Nets’ to my Knickled & Dimed list.

The guy’s an immediate threat to everything Walsh and D’Antoni have done over the last year. He’s potentially built a tremendous roadblock in the ‘bring LeBron to NY’ scheme. He’ll bypass Manhattan and jump to the BK, as if The Mecca never existed. If the guy isn’t afraid to spend, as has been reported, we’re all screwed.”

I wrote this in my first K&D post back in September, while sipping coffee from my green, Scooby-Doo mug.

Fast forward seven months to Sunday, March 28, 2010. 60 Minutes begins to unwrap the mysteriousness of this 6-8 Russian. He speaks in a foreign, robotic monotone with a nonchalant swagger to his speech. We quickly learn he loves extreme sports, military weaponry, seductive women and decadent dining. Prokhorov built a fortune through connections and capitalism, banking on precious metals and luck.

I want to dislike this guy. I really do. What kind of Knicks fan would I be if I didn’t?

Fast forward one day to Monday, March 29, 2010. The Knicks are taking on the Jazz in Salt Lake City, playing, yet again, another meaningless game in March. MSG show’s a clip with the headline “Mike D’Antoni on playing the spoiler role.” Brilliant. Let’s her Coach spit cliches about competing and playing better defense. There’s a greater chance I’ll ride ponies until the sun goes down than of intense, Knicks defense.

Deron Williams goes off for 14 points and 8 assists in the first quarter. Off goes the television. I watch the Prokhorov story for the second time. I must find something to dislike about him.

It doesn’t happen. I can’t help it. Prokhorov is so damn intriguing, it’s disgusting. Here’s this foreign guy who kick-boxes and could probably wrestle a bear and win. The man’s a high roller with a swagger so heavy, he’s making my mug embarrassed of its chipped rim. Scooby’s a baller too, so to make him wince away is some achievement.

Fast forward one more day to Tuesday, March 30, 2010. I wake up to consistent rain pounding my window. I had fallen asleep with my iTunes on and woke up to N.Y. State of Mind. With Nas quickly filling my room, I lay in bed pondering the pros and cons of the 60 Minutes story, last night’s Knicks game and my Scooby-Doo mug.

Prokhorov owning the Nets is a brilliant idea. There are no ifs, ands or buts about it. It simply makes too much sense. Deep Russian money, GM Rod Thorn’s leadership and the potential of John Wall running the point and Brook Lopez dominating the middle. A beautiful, Brooklyn home to contest the Mecca, as far away in the Tri-State region from the swamps in East Rutherford. Spirit, life and a breathe of fresh air. All that jazz.

Jazz. The Knicks did lose last night. It’s been a waiting game since the trade deadline, but I’m getting anxious. Nothing is going right for the Knicks. Joe Johnson is winning in ATL. Carlos Boozer is winning in Utah. LeBron is winning in Cleveland. Dolan is still plucking his guitar. I still don’t like reality dancing shows and the world keeps on spinning. It begins to rain harder, pressing the cold air into my room. It’s time to get warm.

I take one filter and fill it with fragrant coffee beans. Five minutes later, there’s dark coffee in my mug, putting a smile on Scooby’s face. I walk back upstairs to check my mail, but my slumber-state causes me to slip. Coffee spills all over the place and Scooby has another crack on his rim. Hearing the fallen mug, my housemate opens his door and asks me if I watched the Prokhorov story on Sunday night.

Knickled & Dimed List
-Waiting so long to give Toney Douglas regular burn