Friday, March 12th, 2010 at 11:18 am | 136 responses

Sure Shot

They say a picture’s worth 1,000 words. But you only need a couple to win.

Bill Russell & Dwight Howard In many ways, Dwight Howard is a direct descendant of the legendary Bill Russell: Unselfish on offense, big rebound numbers and copious blocked shots despite being short of 7-0. On the other hand, some SLAM readers claim Dwight disrespected shot-blocking in SLAM 134 when his “How-To” advice included “block it into the crowd.” There’s also the little matter of rings (or lack thereof). None of this answers what the two were laughing about over All-Star Weekend. Got any ideas?

Whoever writes the funniest caption will win a dope prize from our vault and see their name in Trash Talk next issue.

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Tags: Bill Russell, Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic, SLAM #137

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Luke Strgar

“This year I’m averaging 18.6pts, 13.2reb, and 2.8blks. Whatchu gotta say bout that?”-Dwight
“haha good one, now lets have a look at these hands. Very soft but no rings. Interesting, very interesting.”
Luke Strgar

“This year I’m averaging 18.6pts, 13.2reb, and 2.8blks. Whatchu gotta say bout that?”-Dwight
“haha good one, now lets have a look at these hands. Very soft but no rings. Interesting, very interesting.”-bill
Rich H

Bill: Cover that hand up! It looks naked without rings on it!
Luis

Howard: This dunk contest is the worst one I’ve ever seen. Nate Robinson 3-time champ? It’s hilarious.
Russel: Wanna know what’s even funnier? Last year he beat you.
Antonio Girling

Bill: “And we danced the waltz when we scored a hoop back in our day. Come, son let me show you” Bill goes to grab Howard.
Howard Laughs and trys to get away “is this guy for real!?” he laughs.
Gannon Rust

Bill: So Dwight, tell me again how to block a shot? Do I pump my chest like this?

Dwight: Uh…
Aaron Neal

Bill: C’mon Dwight let me see how many rings you got.
Aaron Neal

Bill: Can you believe Jay-Z, he thinks he is going to get Lebron in New Jersey.
Dwight: I know, you have more rings than they have wins.
Mr. Cruzer

Dwight: Nice ring

Bill: Thanks, and uh…. nice watch. Ha Ha c’mon now were are you hiding your ring.

Dwight: Ha Ha Ha. That’s SO funny. Hey um where’s your walker.
kevin smith

Dwight to Russell ” Shaq just challenged me to a foot race”
Chinkerdinker

Bill: I’ve got more rings than you’ve got post moves
Otto

Bill: Come, I want to show you my special ring collections
Dwight: Nah, maybe next time, I want to go home and watch SUPERMAN
Twinparadox

Dwight: SO, um, Mr.Russell, how do you keep all those pesky little guards out of the paint?
Bill: Hit them right around here when they come, and then publicly tell them it’s gonna happen everytime.
Twinparadox

Dwight: Instead of this joke we call the slam dunk contest, me and shaq should have a free throw contest. Winner takes Superman.
Bill: Please, please, let me be the judge!
Twinparadox

Dwight: Instead of this joke we call the Slam Dunk Contest, they should have me and Shaq have a free throw contest. Winner takes Superman for the year.
Bill: Please Please let me be judge!
the_baller20

Dwight thinking: Man, when’s the last time Bill shaved???
jheremy gundran

Bill:”I haven’t seen bad dunking since the sticker dunk! Do you remember who that was?
Dwight:”uhhhhh……nope…don’t remember.”
http://aol.com Rj

Priest: Bill do you take Dwight to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Bill: I do.
Preist: And do you, Dwight, take Bill to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Dwight (leans in close to the priest and whispers):If i divorce him I get half his rings right?
Priest: Well…yes I believe so
Dwight (leans back and smiles): I do!
The Last Kings Fan

Dwight, where’s your ring? Oh wait…
http://www.realultimatepower.net doyouwantmore

Bill Walton and his anonymous partner on ‘Dancing with the Stars’.
Cody Murphy

Dwight: You were pretty good back in the day Bill.
Bill: Ya, 11 rings that alright.
http://619rockinghamnixamo65714 Kendall Tilley

What! The Magic only gave you a watch.
Johnson Liu

Howard: oh my god! the legend Bill Russell is shaking my hand!(excited and laughs)

Bill: i wonder when is Dwight going to let go of my other hand? (pretends laugh along with Dwight)
chintao

“Boy, gimme my Mr.-Rogers’-a$$-lookin’, old man sweater back. You look like a 7-foot Urkel.”
Andrew Utter

Dwight: “Look, it’s Shaq workin on his freethrows!”
scott staude

Hey dwight you see that, D-Wade is still hanging from the rim. You think I should tell him I put a fake spider on the ground?
Marty Rendon

Bill to Dwight, “Say, let me give you some of MY magic …”
http://www.myspace.com/Fatboy_jon Jonathan Helmick

Dwight: Bill if i played in your day i would swat your shot.

Bill: Man your Funny.
Austin M

Young fella, that watch is nice. But you gotta try to get cha one of these rings!!
http://marcusmag2@aol.com Marcus L

Bill:What do you call the nba without yourself,Kobe,
Lebron, Melo @Dwade. Dwight:WhatBill. Bill: The Dleague
Dwight:hahaha or the no D league haha!
Daniel Segura

Bill: So can I?
Dwaight: No Bill you can’t borrow my magical toothbrush!
Daniel Segura

Bill: So can I?
Dwaight: No Bill you can’t borrow my magical toothbrush!
rodney edwards

bill russel: hey young’n…you can’t win no championships wear’in dem tight swaeters..you look like a fake Ron Howard!happy days….dwight howard:aww… man… stay out my videos…fuzzy…
http://alecheilimo@hotmail.com Alec

Bill: Now those are the hands of a shot blocker Dwight: Ahah, Akward.
http://www.thecomfortofyourseat.blogspot.com twahc

Bill: Hey KG! You forgot to wear your championship ring! Ha…
Howard: Ha… I am not KG… (I am SuperMan!)
JohnD

“I’ll cover your fingers Dwight until you get at least one ring”.
Rob Gaeta

Dwight: Look Bill Lebrons on TV telling everyones hes going to be in next years slam dunk contest.

Bill: All these fools are going to buy their tickets early again.
Rashad Luckett

Dwight: Hey Bill hows All Star Weekend going for you
Bill: Mighty fine Superman, you’ve seemed to brighten it up with that shirt of yours
(Both): LAUGH
http://CiCi_hoopstar Rashad Luckett

Dwight: Hey Bill hows All Star Weekend going for you
Bill: Mighty fine Superman, you’ve seemed to brighten it up with that shirt of yours
Dwight and Bill : LAUGH
Richard Foster

Bill:Nice Watch…Aint got nothin on this ring though
(Both Laugh)(Dwight Stops)
Dwight: Wanna Trade?
Christopher Thomas

Bill-Nope Just Like I Thought Not a Ring LOL, Dwight- Awwwwwwww Grandpa why u play me like that Lol
Martin Torres

Bill: The problem with you youngsters is that you have no GAME!
Dwight: GAME????? WHAATT SHUU KNOW BOUT GAME???
http://slamonline.com RayintheBay

Bill: DAM, look at her right therr, she got it goin ON!!

Dwight: Haha yea, thats my MOM man

AWKWARD!!!
Aviel Shirian

Hey Dwight guess what?

what?

I’m the Real Superman!
http://kicksoncard.tumblr.com zack

“Let Shannnon dunk?!? Are you kidding me?? HAHAHA
Ryan Hamilton

Dwight:I wonder if he’d notice if i slipped that ring off his finger.
Bill:I like you and all kid, but you aint K.G., dont even think about touchin my ring.
Andrew T.

Bill: Awww, poor boy, aint fit to wear a ring yet. Tell you what, if you win the game tomorrow *sighs*…. I’LL GIVE YOU MY RING!

Dwight: Really?!? *tears up like a baby* I never thought you cared about me like that, I only thought you talked to me cause.. *BILL SNEAKS IN SAYING…( see below)*

Bill: SIKE!!!

Dwight: Awww man! can’t even look at you. *Bill holds his hands and apologizes heartily along with a laugh*
Tyler Slocum

Dwight: I bet you 10 bucks you could dunk and get a higher score than these “Pros”.
http://SLAMALLDAY Shai Evenhaim

“You might be superman under that cute yellow cardigan but these rings are my kryptonite, get on my level.”
shannon

Bill: Hey Dwight its been such a long time since i felt young firm skin,don’t mind me
Dwight: Feels some type of way but turns away and smiles

Sure Shot

They say a picture’s worth 1,000 words. But you only need a couple to win.

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