The zone made them do it.
by Dennis Tarwood / @tuffyr
“You unlock this door to a competitive Western Conference Finals with a key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension. A dimension of Amar’e. A dimension of Robin. A dimension of the Lakers losing their ever-lovin’ minds. You are moving into a land of both shadow and substance: of ridiculous fouls and turnovers. You’ve just crossed over into the Phoenix Suns’ zone.”—With apologies to Rod Serling
Stranger than a man on the wing of the plane. Harder to see than all the world’s books with shattered glasses. More difficult to revive than the “Twilight Zone” series itself. It could only be the Phoenix Suns’ playoff chances, which reappeared in a sudden twist to the series with a 118-109 win and 2-1 Lakers series advantage Sunday night achieved not through offensive prowess but through the Phoenix Suns’ zone.
After spending two games lobbying the league to wear their alternate jerseys with the team name “Phoenix Down Tens”, the Suns returned home for Game 3 both written off and written out of the playoffs. Why, the Suns would have to live in a land where the ugly were beautiful and the gorgeous shunned for the series to make sense again.
Enter the Phoenix Suns’ zone. This mystical creature, rarely seen in the Western Conference Finals to this point and difficult to observe thriving in the wild due to its apparent ability to be sliced to ribbons by predators, had been rumored to be hiding on the Suns’ home court during their time in Los Angeles and biding its time.
Picture a man: Suns coach and Phoenix Suns’ zone curator Alvin Gentry was quizzed before the game about its possible appearance and received only coy responses: “Maybe. Maybe. We’ll see. I’m sure we’ll use it some; it won’t be a mystery to anyone if we do. We probably will use it some.”
“Lost”‘s smoke monster got a stronger tease Sunday night.
And yet that zone took the Lakers out of four quarters of offensive domination into merely two, leaving them floundering in the second and fourth frames and adding up to a merely average scoring night, enough for the Suns to pull out the needed win at home.
Of course, one might point out the liberal doses of the zany version of Lamar Odom in those quarters contributing heavily to the downfall with three turnovers and deeply questionable decisions on both ends of the court, like Phil Jackson did after the game: “He had really a game he doesn’t want to remember about. He wants to go home and forget about this one.” But those people aren’t hewing to the narrative. Hew! Hew to the narrative!
One might also note the lack of a second large fellow in the lane for the Lakers as Andrew Bynum fought pace (193 combined possessions), bad wheels, and his own meager speed limit to foul six times in 7:31 of inaction. Still: zone! Magic!
Bynum insisted often after the game that his problems stemmed from poor play and not pain: “I’ve been able to play well with the same level of pain; it’s not getting worse. So that’s why I feel it’s not that… you don’t know how long it’ll take to come back from it, so I’d rather play than miss the whole thing.”
And Phil Jackson did admit he is considering sitting Bynum for a spell after his “ineffective” night, but that’s probably because the Phoenix Suns’ zone causes swelling.
Certainly, Amar’e's aggressiveness in the lane (a redonkulous 42 points on 22 shots, aided by 18 free-throw attempts, and 11 boards) could only be explained by the Phoenix Suns’ zone, even if Amar’e stared blankly at the reporter who attempted to connect the dots on this one after the game.
And don’t you listen to Kobe Bryant (36/9/11 on 24 shots): “Offensively, we adjusted okay. Defense, we couldn’t get the stops when we needed to… (Robin) Lopez made big, big plays.”
Speaking of dangerous zones, Robin Lopez proved he was a Phantom Zone villain to Angelenos worse than General Zod ever treated Metropolis. He showed his stamina and his skill returned under a yellow Phoenix sky, turning in his best professional performance (20 points on 10 shots) in 30 minutes.
He also showed the heel in him to be in the best shape of his career, dropping Derek Fisher on screens on multiple occasions and then brushing past Fisher while running back down court like a moving telephone pole with a bird’s nest on top, his arms akimbo (all the better to nudge you with!).
Both gentlemen earned third-quarter technicals for the ensuing tête-à-tête, though Fisher probably lost his focus because he couldn’t stop thinking about the Phoenix Suns’ zone. Yes. Kneel before Zone.
(Asked after the game if there would be work in practice Monday to run down court without bumping into objects, Steve Nash (17 pts, 15 asts) deadpanned, “You know what? We leave Robin alone. We leave him alone.”
The Phoenix Suns’ zone removes the need for Channing Frye to attend any further games though you’d be hard-pressed to prove he was in the building for previous games. The Phoenix Suns’ zone means 42-20 FTA disparities in your favor in every game. Seventeen Lakers’ turnovers, mostly “unforced” (Phil) and “silly stuff (Kobe)? Zonegasm!
Despite the fact that it is entirely possible the last made layup by the Suns was completed by Kevin Johnson and the vaunted bench was last spotted at J.D. Salinger’s final birthday party, the Suns’ playoff run has been set to full sprint, thanks to the Phoenix Suns’ zone. Feel free to zone out on the series.
If you don’t believe us, listen to noted NBA expert Justin Bieber: “lakers vs suns…this is a good game. about to just chill out for the rest of the night and watch the rest of this game. kobe is a beast”
Shoot. Man-to-man, fronted by Bieber. That’s an unexpected turn of events.
OTHER NOTES
- Steve Nash “bent” his nose, in his own words, on Shannon Brown’s head which left a gruesome curve. He claims it’s not broken, which seems like semantics.
- Also, Amar’e Stoudemire sliced open his face above his eyes when his goggles were pushed up into his forehead. Dwyane Wade has not yet filed a lawsuit for stealing his bandage-over-his-eye fashion.
- One couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting simmering tensions between Lakers and Suns fans, with security apparently increased to keep the peace. Chants of “Beat L.A.” turned from vociferous to violent-sounding in the fourth quarter.
- If you weren’t already surprised by Phil Jackson’s response to the AZ immigration law, he claims Sam Zell as a close friend. This is the same Sam Zell that has run the Tribune Company into the ground and tried to turn the Chicago Cubs into a tax dodge.
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I did the math. 22FT Disparity. What’s your point?
hate when being a smartass backfires………..
Amare literally was just grabbing the ball in the 1st quarter, taking 4/5 steps and doing and 1 layups. I couldn’t believe the travels he was getting away with.
After days of hearing about how Amare sucks, dude goes out and drops 42 and 11 while straight dominating, and people are overlooking that to praise Nash’s toughness? Really folks? Did you happen to notice how Amare carried this team?
And Nash’s is superlative?
So, when Amare struggles, it’s because he sucks. When he succeeds, it’s because Nash made him good…
Where is Jukai? Do you see why I do it now?
The signature move from last night was the nastiness that Amare gave Gasol on the baseline from the face-up position. Don’t talk about how he just punished Bynum and put him and Odom in foul trouble doing the same thing.
At this point, Amare should just change the name on the back of his jersey to “Nash made me” given the way some of y’all see the game.
That being said, I mean, Nash has been decked in the face so many times in the playoffs and continues without complaining or missing a beat. If Vince Carter or Paul Pierce took a headbutt like that and broke their nose, they’d have to be carried out on a stretcher. They wouldn’t READJUST THEIR NOSE IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS and keep playing.
I think people are still in that mindset. It’s not true anymore.
It’s fine that people criticize Amare for his lack of defense… but it’s aggravating people question his desire. Amare has COMPLETELY REDESIGNED HIS GAME since his pre-micro-fracture surgery days. He has great footwork facing up, has great IQ when it comes to his spacing on the floor and how much he can get away with while spinning or barreling into the post, he has a wet 15-footer (he should do it less off the dribble though) and the way he can adjust his shots in the air is truly incredible and shows how hard Amare works as a basketball player.
I know people have been disappointed in Amare in the playoffs, looking towards Richardson for the Blazers series and Nash in the Spurs series as the true heroes of the Suns… but to beat the Lakers, the Suns need their best player, Amare, to dominate night in and night out. Game 3, he showed he can do that. Now let’s hope Phil is slow to make adjustments.
And I wish that folks would stop believing that Amare is only good because Nash makes him good. Even when Nash first got there and Amare was more dependent on him to score, Amare still was making incredible catches and incredible finishes that 95 percent of hte cats in the league could not make.
And if Amare is the Suns best player, I wish folks would start treating him like the best player when the team plays well instead of only when the team loses.
And Nash is tough, no doubt, but the non-stop slurping directed at him by the mainstream media and many fans is just ridiculous.
I certainly dont think that Nash is a superb defender, I was just saying that Amare was being critized for his defense more than his offense especially in a series were he has to guard talented laker bigs and Nash is guarding someone like Fisher, Farmar, etc. And im not saying that he didn’t have a good game either. I wish Dwight Howard played on the offensive end the way Amare did, he would without a doubt be considered the best center in the league if he did. When he puts his head down and decides to score he is damn near unstoppable most nights, add that to the fact that he can hit that 15-18 foot jumper and its a tough cover. For anybody. But Nash’s defense (or lack there of) is nothing new, neither is Amare’s (or the rest of the suns for that matter). I hate them, but, Lakers in six.
VIVA STEVE SMASH!
VIVA STAT!
VIVA LOPEZ!
VIVA JR, GRANT, LEANDRO, LOUUUUUU, DUDS, FRYE,
and especially (para el CORAZON)..VIVA THE DRAGON!
And the biggest problem?
Amare SHOWED he could play defense after the all-star game. So the fact he’s casually letting Odom get to the basket is inexcusable and deserves more slack than others. Hell, FRYE is a better defender than Amare. That itself should cause a tear in space-time.
I’m also getting increasingly annoyed about your hate for the love Nash is getting for toughening out all the blows he’s getting. You were pretty much MIA when Duncan pretty much obliterated Nash’s eye and Nash dropped 10 and 5… yet you show up to praise Amare after Amare had the game we’ve been waiting for 13 playoff games to see. I love Amare. I’ve loved Amare since he got to the Suns. But Nash has been dinged and bashed so much this series, that the fact he got a black eye and a broken nose in the last game and is STILL TICKING is something to admire, media-love fest or not. I’ve never seen you complain about Iverson or Kobe getting that type of love, yet suddenly Nash is getting too much press for playing through all the punches he’s taking?
Get the F out of here.
No, really.
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