Tuesday, January 4th, 2011 at 9:00 am  |  213 responses

LeBron James Re-names Miami the ‘Heatles’

by Marcel Mutoni / @marcel_mutoni

There have been a lot of great nicknames throughout the history of the NBA. The one that LeBron James revealed to the world last night will unfortunately not be making the cut.

In fact, it’s one of the worst ever.

James and the barnstorming Heat crushed the Bobcats in Charlotte, and following yet another win on the road, LBJ unveiled what his teammates have taken to calling their impressive roadshow.

From the Miami Herald:

The Heat is referring to itself as the “Heatles” — as in the Beatles — these days because of the large crowds it receives on the road, said James. “I see we sell out 99.1 percent on the road, so we call ourselves the Heatles off the Beatles, so every time we take our show on the road we bring a great crowd,” James said.

The obvious question: So who’s Paul McCartney and who’s John Lennon? “I knew that was going to be a question,” James said. “We’re just the Heatles, man.”

I just want to know who will step up and become Yoko Ono for this group.

Apparently, this love of Beatles-inspired nicknames is nothing new for LeBron and friends: in Cleveland, they used to call themselves the “Cleatles” back in the day.

Do with that information what you will.

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  • Mr. Robinson

    ^Yeah, I feel you man. Like I said before you guys be handling business and I hope that “these dudes” dont mess up you all concentration. Kudos, my dude. and enigmatic” and “allball24″ made a great suggestion.

  • http://slamonline.com kobehater

    LONG LIVE THE KING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope now hurts there ankles jumping off tht laker bandwagon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KOBE Suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    @Mr. Robinson: Preciate it, bro.

  • the nerve

    alright bryan. that was me. i meant for u to know it was me. it aint hard to sound like anybody up here. u know that. thats about a earlier point u tried to make. u were me last night. im u 2nite. anyway i wont do that as long as u dont do that. it dont matter to me either way tho. but ima get serious w/u 4 a minute. a while back, slam was a respected site. it still is now. ive been down since the beginning. u dont know that tho. and the reason im telling you this is becuz theres a few things that need to be said

  • http://www.bulls.com Enigmatic

    Ha, what a coincidence. My ipod is playing DMX’s “Here We Go Again”…

  • http://slamonline.com Eboy

    I don’t know $h!t about music or basketball.

  • the nerve

    u constantly come up on slam talkin about how people troll and what the right and wrong thing to say. so why when a clown come up here and sound like clown, u diss him. blackphantom. u know he just tryin 2 be part of the club, that young dude. how can that not be a double standard? then when somebody like “the nerve” REALLY go in now all of the sudden u get funny? is that weird on yer part? to be able to freely do something that somebody else shouldnt do according 2 u? anyway my main point of this whole thing is, whenever i see u clown some dumbass 4 no reason, i clown u in response. that all. i aint got nuthin personally against u. u just b wrong sometimes. like 4 real. so, you know.
    call it “obsession” “groupie – ism” whatever. just be ready to get clowned when you go at somebody (TROLLING) 4 no reason.

  • JTaylor21

    There you go Mrs. Robison, looking like a fool again. I think it’s jtaylor my a**. Since when was it fashionable for males to talk more than females? Bucketmouth clown.

  • DeeDre

    Its funny how every single article about the Heat on here gets 100+ comments every time, no matter how trivial. “Lebron James has……a cell phone?” 151 comments. Read more….

  • Mr. Robinson

    Calm down Taylor. You just came into your own like, yesterday. Eboy still has your wallet.

  • hillbilly

    @DeeDre If you wanna see something really funny, go to YouTube and check out the hot, new video featuring LeBron’s birthday cake. (((SPOILER ALERT!!!))) Around the twenty-six second mark, a semi-nude Chris Bosh pops out of the cake & shrieks, “I’m a Witness!”. (no fake)

  • Mr. Robinson

    And everybody already know that you were the one who made tha holacaust comment. And everybody already know that you’re “kobehater”. so stfu

  • http://Slam Bron Bron

    Haters you can KILL YOURSELF!!! STFU LeBron Haters your not hurting no one but wasteing your time its not like LeBron will actually see the comments and if he does well hes probaly thankful that you at least no who he is stop being jealous and stop making exuses!!!!

  • doyouwantmore

    The Beatles were basically a constructed boy-band mass marketed to sell albums to teenage girls with brand new purchasing power. So basically all these music lovers and indie bands are copying the 50′s Backstreet Boys.

  • http://www.need4sheed.com Tarzan Cooper

    Caboose, why you basically copying my post? Jk, u good. Sam cooke is that dude!!! Johnnie taylor too. ………. ….. .. Idk whats been going on between crawford and nerve, but that was by far the most eloquent nerve has ever been, so, I doubt it was him. But he does have nerves reasoning. …. Idk or care, its just funny, sometimes. Now it mostly just weird

  • http://www.need4sheed.com Tarzan Cooper

    Doyouwantmore, actually the beatles started out as a grimy band playing in dirty stankin clubs. ….. Yes, they later became the squeaky kids u saw on ed sullivan. But they didnt start like that.

  • JTaylor21

    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    Yeah nerve, I saw your comment yesterday where you accused me of posting as you. I ignored it because that’s not how I get down.
    You look stupid on your own and you clown yourself to the point that I don’t need to do it for you. You can think it was me all you want, but unless you think I’m the only one that doesn’t care for you then you sir are sadly mistaken.
    That’s childish and I don’t play those games so get that straight. You ain’t that major, pimp. Know this.
    You feel the need to protect and stand up for people in here. That’s stupid too.
    If people have a problem with what I say to or about them, they know how to speak for themselves I would imagine. Not once have I seen anyone thank you for standing up to me on their behalf.
    No, you engage me because you like it, not because anybody asked for your help. You do it because it somehow makes you feel good about yourself. That’s why I ignore you even though you try so hard to get my attention.
    As far as I’m concerned, unless I address or engage you directly, any keystrokes you spend on me is a waste of your time.

  • http://www.need4sheed.com Tarzan Cooper

    You what supercorny movie has an amazing soundtrack? Jingle all the way. That bowl of cinematic diarrhea belies the awesome soundtrack.

  • http://www.bulls.com Enigmatic

    How crazy would it be if we found out nerve and Bryan Crawford were really the same person? Like a split-personality, Gollum/Smeagol type thing?
    Sorry y’all, I watch too many movies.

  • the nerve

    maybe it wasnt u. but i’ll do like u do to people n call u a liar. not lookin 4 gratitude. not in it 4 that. besides, n teddy said thanx. call it stupid. its cool. thats what u need 4 ur therapy. insult people. u jus need 2 do that. one more thing. lots of chumps up here DONT know how to respond 2 u. they might be in awe or shock that u would diss them 4 no reason. so they come back w/a wack comeback. those r da ones u target. the weak minded. cats who cant engage. its obvious bryan. n im still bein real w/u. u the only slam writer dude who will target somebody who u think wont git in urass. u act like u tryin to b “this certain kind of dude”. so i understand ur point u try 2 make cuz it make me look all crazy in a way defending deez clownz. idgaf bout all that. i know im crazy long time ago. but we all r. even u. so,

  • http://www.slamonline.com Eboy

    I’d like to play the nerve in Scrabble.

  • the nerve

    waddup e

  • JeffOG

    @ Caboose: Sorry, but whenever I look at the Beatles (whom I love) and Elvis (yuck) I see what type of success can be acheived when Black art is taken by others with more mass appeal. Eminem is the better comparison. He is super talented and is among the greatest selling rappers of all time. If he were to die today, and people started calling him the greatest twenty years from now, it would be the same situation as the Beatles and Elvis. All are crazy talented, but NONE are the greatest ever.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Eboy

    Still going in on my boy BC, huh? You cats are funny as fu$k.

  • http://sjfklfsl.com Jukai

    Bryan: I’m sure you can ban via IP. Sure, there are easy ways around that, but it makes it a pain for someone to try and do it

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    Jukai, when someone openly acknowledges having a messed up life and freely admits to being crazy, you take them at their word and you let them do their thing.
    Usually I feel pity for people like that, but when they’re belligerent and disrespectful a-holes, I could care less about their personal problems and whatever it is that they’re going through.

  • the nerve

    nah e, ima leave him alone cuz i really dont wanna dumb this site down more than i already did. i mad my points. n they good points. i prolly stop comin up here tho. maybe 1ce in a while 2 see if they banned me. i’ll say this n this will prolly be it up here. u know better than anybody else that this shtt aint what it used 2 be. so on dat note PACE!

  • http://www.slamonline.com Eboy

    The nerve actually made some valid points this evening without mentioning BC.

  • the nerve

    i thought U were the “king ass hole” u said it not me. but 4 real im out. 4real u walkin contradiction cabrini ass nicka

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    You won’t be missed…

  • robb

    Lebron James is Ring-O actually.

  • the nerve

    i is leavin da site cuz mmy ignant self cant conversate without soundin like i only got a grade skool edumacation. IM OUT NUKKAS!!!

  • the nerve

    Oh, 1 more thing 4 yall. yall got my username n email n all that. so if u ever wanna sound like u got ballz n shtt w/o exposin ur tru self, use “the nerve” name so yall sound like yall tuff.
    Aight peace

  • http://sjfklfsl.com Jukai

    I just realized that Bryan doesn’t want to ban The Nerve for impersonating him because he’s impersonating The Nerve. Sigh… and Myles/Ryan accuse the commenters of dumbing the website down.

  • http://thetroyblog.com Teddy-the-Bear

    The Beatles started out definitely riffing on the style black artists had invented, and some of their biggest hits from their first album were covers. However, it IS wrong to say that all they did was steal music from black artists, like JTaylor (who probably hasn’t listened to more than 5 Beatles songs) falsely accused them of doing. Unlike Elvis, Lennon/McCartney/Harrison WERE talented songwriters of their own who DID influence a generation of bands and artists. I realize they’ve been ridiculously hyped up, but saying they weren’t that great because African-Americans inventing rock & roll makes absolutely no sense. At all.

  • gunrex

    sounds like a,Le-curse to me

  • http://thetroyblog.com Teddy-the-Bear

    I think people have neglected to mention James Brown in this comment thread…

  • Justin

    Kevin Calabro was horrible. There aren’t a lot of very good announcers which is why they are local. Tommy Heinson might just be the worst though. Listening to him beg for calls and making the most overrated player in NBA history, Paul Pierce, sound like he’s a legend is beyond brutal.
    @Jackie Moon…the reason nobody will argue when people say Michael Jordan is the best basketball player ever is because HE IS!

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    Jukai, I thought you way smarter than that… But I guess not.

  • Joe A

    @ Teddy, I mentioned James Brown at 11:37am. Real recognize real. Anyway, this is the most bizarre comment section I’ve ever seen. Some basketball talk, some music talk, announcer talk, and some bizarre melodrama that I think I’m better off not trying to understand.

  • JeffOG

    My apologies for not mention the REAL king of Rock N’ Roll…James Brown.

  • JeffOG

    I meant ‘mentioning’

  • http://Philosophervision@blogspot.com The Philosopher

    The music conversation was good.
    Agree with most every piece of commentary regarding the music.
    @Mr. Robinson: I am a fan of U2 as well. In my opinion, they are one of the greatest rock bands of all time.

  • http://www.need4sheed.com Tarzan Cooper

    phil, i just lost a ton of respect for you. u2? wow.

  • http://thetroyblog.com Teddy-the-Bear

    Ah, sorry Joe A. Real recognize real indeed. Same to JeffOG. Haha.

  • http://Philosophervision@blogspot.com The Philosopher

    Tarzan:
    I said, “one of the greatest”. They really are. Bono is the truth. His clout. Clayton, Edge. My musical preferences are very, very wide ranging.
    But yes, U2 is a great, great band. A lot passion, those guys.
    I like many rock groups, though. Nirvana, Guns N’ Roses. Live, Soundgarten, the list goes on, and on. On the sly, I am a “music” guy. Many of us are, as it turns out.

  • http://www.need4sheed.com Tarzan Cooper

    live and soundgarden, throwback! sonic youth? ……. u2 is total crap homie. youre better than that phil, well,, maybe not.

  • robb

    well u2′s a watered down band right now, but they remain one of the greatest bands of all time no doubt. And they are killer live.

  • http://www.need4sheed.com Tarzan Cooper

    no robb, they are not one of the greatest bands of all time. ….. maybe they are if you just parrot whatever the goofy dorky white writers say about them. if you do alot of music research on your own, you will find that u2 is commercialized, processed, homogenized and pasteurized for your safety. they are beyond terrible.

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