Thursday, January 13th, 2011 at 5:18 pm  |  129 responses

Sure Shot

They say a picture’s worth 1,000 words. But you only need a couple to win.

Ron Artest

We, as much as any media outlet ever, know all about Ron Artest’s soft side. We’ve kicked it with him in high school, chatted him up in college, visited with him in QB. But we can still chuckle with him, right? If nothing else, we know this pic calls for a one liner.

Whoever writes the funniest caption will win a dope prize from our vault and see their name in Trash Talk next issue.

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  • http://www.hoopsvibe.com/features/overdribbling chiqo

    ron: oh, so that’s what that says.

  • http://chancej.blogspot.com/ C.J

    So are u SURE that if i send this kobe is gonna pass me the ball?

  • Casey

    “Psst…Say ‘QueensBridge’.”

  • Jermaine

    Little girl to Ron artest “it says they been watching you play lately and they are sending your championship ring back.

  • ryan

    ron: It’s a flat shipping fee and you don’t even have to choke the mailman to send it.

  • Taranvir

    Does that say Official Sponsor of the Boston Celtics?!?!

  • Homie

    When I worked at the post office, I used to mail my underwear home at lunch time.

  • Andrew S

    You said you put all your mommy’s liqour in there?

  • http://dodgers.com Joey E.

    Does that say ‘Free Hennessy’ ?

  • j.Spadez

    Ron:…D,G,E spells QUEENSBRIDGE!

  • j.Spadez

    (May bad forgot part)
    Ron:Q…D,G,E spells QUEENSBRIDGE!

  • James

    Those are from my psychologist!

  • Mark Tacderas

    Ok, if you can guess which box my ring is in you can have it.

  • Ben

    Keep talking little girl and I’ll shove you in that box and mail you to Sacramento. I’ve been there and it ain’t fun.

  • Ali Saadat

    Ron: In there is my championship ring that I can ship anywhere in the country for one low flat rate. (Postal Service Flat Rate Box Slogan)

  • Idrees

    Artest: “you wanna open it, or can i? it might be another ring”

  • http://www.kwapt.blogspot.com KobeWearsAPurpleThong

    “Merry Christmas little girl. Do you want some of Uncle Ron’s sweet green & white Prozac? Or a handful of his pretty anti-psychotics..?”

  • http://www.triplejunearthed.com/dacre Dacre

    This is what Daddy call’s “mailing it in…”

  • Chris

    Hey lil girl….i lost my game this year….do you think its in these boxes that are from QUEENSBRIDGE

  • Juan Carlos Rodriguez

    little girl: “it says
    from : David Stern
    To: Ron Artest
    Subject : Pat Riley”

    Ron: DON’T OPEN IT!

  • DeeJayNOLa

    little girl – Are these going to Santa for this year.
    Ron – Nah it’s all my kiss-A$$ mail from the commissioner.

  • carlito

    Ron: Can we negotiate the price? I brought you this box of goodies.
    Lil psychiatrist: Sorry Ron but it is what it is.

  • http://slamonline.com GlobeTrotter

    Ron “pssst, I’ll give you $10 if you change Kobe’s name to Ron Artest. It’s gotta be the shoes…”

  • mvpitzki

    young psychologist: Ron this is where you lost your mind.

  • Timothy

    Karl Malone aint got nothin on me

  • Timothy

    Ron whispering to lil girl: psst Karl Malone aint got nothin on me

  • San Antonio Gunslinger

    Ron: In one of these boxes is my championship ring, you find it and it’s yours. Girl: I just wanted a hug.

  • t-sizzle

    Little girl: Here ya go Ron Ron. Some nice old lady just donated some nice text books to help fund the battle against mental illness. Let me just sign it off.

    Artest: Rar? Mwarh Mwarh..?

    Little girl: Yup, that’s why I joined the NBA Cares.

  • t-sizzle

    NBA: Where future brain surgeons work with live specimens happen.

  • http://www.sonicbids.com doyouwantmore

    Artest goes postal. Little girl unfazed.

  • http://www.sonicbids.com doyouwantmore

    Today a representative from NBA Cares took some time out of her busy schedule to work with one of the less fortunate members of our community.

  • Joe

    We all knew Ron completely lost his mind when he started to see an 8yr old psychiatrist who also told the future by looking at Priority Mail boxes.

  • GodsWarrior

    I thought i was the only one who didnt understand the triangle offense…

  • Tommy Rothman

    So i jumped in there and then i grabbed him like THIS

  • BJ

    Ron: If you can guess how many copies of “My World 2″ are in this box, I’ll let you pick out my jersey number for next season.

  • rob stewart

    Ron”You think you can push my cd’s to some of your friends?
    Girl”You’ll never go platinum”

  • Caleb

    Ron: “What do you mean all the free copies of my CD got sent back”

  • http://staticseth.blogspot.com Sarcastic Seth

    “Hold up, little girl. These basketballs are being shipped to an NBA team in Canada? I didn’t know we had a team up there!”

  • Scott Carter

    Kid: “Hey Ron, what’s in the boxes?” Ron: “(pauses)Umm, just a late Christmas gift I’m sending to Lebron.” Kid: “What’s that ticking sound?”

  • Scott Carter

    Ron: “Alright, kid. If you can pick which box I packed my Championship ring in, you can be our coach next year.”

  • http://slam.online iwaggs

    girl. why does it say 10 pounds of crack

  • Dustin

    Ron: Now when they ask, say “he’s a great role model.”

  • Will E.

    Ron: “When we’re on the road, I send my therapist the journal entries of my thoughts and feelings.”

  • Ryan

    Girl: Who are you?
    Ron: Who am i? Im a member of the world champion LA lakers!
    Girl: but you’re not Kobe..

  • Ryan

    Ron: Hey listen, ill let you do my hair for the WHOLE next season if you just don’t tell ANYBODY whats in these packages.

    Girl: I don’t know that doesn’t seem like a good offer to me.

    Ron: What if i throw in my championship ring?

    Girl: Deal!

  • dime

    this is for you and your gramma, oh she’s dead now? uhh, is this really your box?

  • Dave

    Girl: I’m not sure how to spell that…? Ron: Just spell each word by itself, QUEENS and BRIDGE. If that doesn’t help call up Craig Sager, he knows.

  • Sergio Rodriguez

    enough with the reading lessons, someone tell ron-ron the season started!

  • John Holtz

    I said I don’t want to listen to your new CD no matter how much money you give me!

  • Robballa

    (In a soothing, quiet voice )”Hey Sweetie can you do me a favor…say Queensbridge”

  • Robballa

    RON: Oh damn, it looks like all my cd’s I sold just got sent back.

  • Kevin Henry

    Ron: “Watch, I can blow this box up with my mind!”

  • Jasmine

    Girl: I want a doll house. Artest: Open it. Girl: I said i wanted a doll house not a replica of your NBA Ring!

  • Jose Tristan

    Ron: You do know i play for the lakers, right?

  • Jesus Vargas

    Girl: please tell me kobe’s in here

  • Chalmers Brown

    Ron: “Little girl, what are you doing here? You should be in school getting an education. I know it doesn’t seem that important now, but in the future you’ll see how important it is. Do you want me to help you get home to your parents”

    Little Girl:”I’m 35 years old and don’t live with my parents. Sorry we’re not all be 6 foot 7.”

  • Howard

    This is how I travel to Detroit for away games now.

  • Casey Hill

    Ron – whats in the box?
    Girl – I stole kobes cookies (rings) and i’m sending them to LeBron James to show him what a ring looks like

  • marc maldonado

    Go ahead take the ring im gonna win another one next year anyways.

  • Truthballer

    Girl: Ooooh, Uncle Ron-Ron! Your orders of fresh crazy are here!!

    Artest: And just in time, too! I think I was just about to start acting normal!!

  • Shaun McDonald

    Ron: To Shaun McDonald, c/o SLAM. So, this is where his LRG prize pack that he won in the spring of 2010 ended up. They were supposed to get this to him after he emailed him his size of shirt back in April. Too bad SLAM doesn’t send the prizes like they promise. Little girl, don’t waste your time with online contests, and certainly don’t wait for the editor to email you back, because nothing will happen.

  • zc

    Artest: Yeah i cant believe priority mail ships at a flat rate either!

  • David Marquez

    believe in forgiveness

  • jack boutchard

    im sending lebron a info sheet about how im auctioning off one of my rings

  • Player

    Ron: Please don’t send me away, I can give you my championship ring!

  • Erik

    Young Girl: Ok now lets try that again.
    Ron Artest: I just don’t get it. No matter how much I try I will never be able to read these words.
    Young Girl: You will never be able to read with that attitude.

  • Hugo

    The girl: “Are you the post office man?

    Ron Artest: “No, that’s Charles Barkley. I’m only Santa’s Smurf and I give you this presents”

  • Muggsy

    Ron : Ok, so send this present to Doc Rivers, Boston, MA, and make sure the 2010 NBA champs t-shirt don’t fell off the box.

  • http://hajrazigic@yahoo.com Weapon E

    ron: what the heck? To Ron: you suck
    love, celtics

  • Eric

    Ron: And it all ships for one flat rate!

  • Kyle

    Ron: uh…thats my Christmas present..from kobe.
    Girl: no its not it says my name right here.

  • Wan LaFon

    it’s just something about this triangle offense that i dont get, doc

  • Wan LaFon

    i hope kobe and phil likes fruitcakes?

  • Damion

    Dont worry my psychologist said these are QueensBridge certified.

  • http://saintmark5171@yahoo.com BLOXSTAR

    Ron: “they’re all self-help dvd’s”.

  • D2L

    Ron: so whatcha sending?
    Girl: I’m sending my old clothes to the less fortunate, what about you?
    Ron: in-n-out burgers to my physchiatrist

  • http://hajrazigic@yahoo.com Weapon E

    Ron:look, I know I beat up Ben Wallace, but at least I didn’t beat up the mailman.

    Girl: I’m telling Karl Malone.

  • http://slamonline.com Goose

    Girl: Are you sure you want to send off your championship ring?
    Ron: Yeah what do I need that for I’ve got a couple more coming my way!

  • LakeShow

    Little Girl: To Karl The Mailman Malone from Ron-Ron. Are you really sending him ur Laker bling? Artest: Naw, its a box of popping snakes! Little Girl (with a smirk): Ur so crazy.

  • http://slamonline Luis

    Ron: Omg, are those weaties, can i have some?
    Little girl: no, ima be sendin these to my fave playa, KOBE!
    Ron: awe man, can’t even get the girl to pass the weaties.

  • http://tyonntyler@yahoo.com west philly

    Hey Phil said “to avoid going postal, think outside the box”

  • http://tyonntyler@yahoo.com west philly

    RON “Hey Phil said to avoid going postal, think outside the box, man this zen offense is hard”
    Lil Girl “trianlge Ron”

  • Jeff Washington Jr

    UHHHH!! I don’t know what it says either.

  • Rob Murrie

    “cant read so i’ll just repeat anything she says” (ron’s inner-thoughts)

  • James Lotz

    Ron: “OK, this is the package of food that’s supposed to go to Spree’s kids.”

  • James Lotz

    Ron: “Are you sure Miami doesn’t have three “I”s in it?”

  • James Lotz

    Ron: “So I boxed up the voices in my head. Can you mail them far way?”
    Girl: “I don’t think it’s going to work!”

  • James Lotz

    Ron: “Do you think they’d give me a discount on shipping if I got a job at the post office?”

  • Ian Erickson

    Ron: “I’m being a good boy right now.” “Please don’t let anyone know unless it is Commissioner Stern.”

  • Tianyi Zha

    Hey, let me tell you a little secret. I used to mail my game shoes to the arena cause I like the feeling of receiving a package of kicks. It was a like a teenage dream come true.

  • Akam Taghizadeh

    Girl: These say they’re for your psychiatrist!
    Ron: Uhhh…

  • Garrett

    RON: “Im just gonna overnight you my sanity. I havent used it in years. Just have your Mom sign for it.”

  • Adam Green

    Ron: “Who’s the box from?”
    Little Girl: ” Your psychiatrist. And it’s a good thing too. I’d need a psychiatrist also if Kobe didn’t pass me the ball at all.”

  • Anuroop Kumar

    Ron: ” Uh……I don’t know what it means either”

  • Garrett Collins

    Ron: Well if your thinking about going postal, you HAVE to try it at The Palace of Auburn Hills.

  • http://neonracerp_g@yahoo.com Ray Allen Garcia

    “whos the package for?”

    Little Girl
    “Its for you from the Palace of Auburn Hills”

  • http://13592FM1130OrangeTx77632 Ray Allen Garcia

    “whos the package for?”

    Little Girl
    “Its for you from the Palace of Auburn Hills in Michigan!”

  • Michael

    Ron- Im sorry little girl, I know your a Pacers fan, but I just couldnt control my anger back then. Do u forgive me?

  • http://751SapphireDr.BolingbrookI.L. Hamzah Bennett

    Ron: Know what I hate, Priority Mail boxes cost more than my championship ring. Little girl: Oh wow

  • Connor Stewart

    This is the most expensive thing I could buy with my contract

  • Liam

    The Mailman delivers again.

  • Geek

    wrap it good. it’s for my psychiatrist.

  • Lawson Warren

    Girl: “C’mon Ron, sound it out.”

  • Wierdo

    They sent me Dwyane Wade’s ring???

  • http://www.facebook.com/hlopez84 Henry Lopez

    “WOW… Little girl I’m just a basketball player!!”

  • http://Uiandtherest.com Adrian

    Look girl, this ain’t Seven! You can’t go mailing heads around town.

  • Mohamed

    Ron: Ay Girl Look In The Camara And Smile!#!

  • Reo

    Ok, now go kick Kobe in the shins

  • goingnomad

    Yo Gurl “If It Fits It Ships” that’s how I did it up with my championship ring!

  • Quran Mustafa Hall

    spongebob cannot guard me

  • Gannon Rust

    Artest: If you think this reading is exciting, wait until you see what’s inside!

    Girl: Ooo . . . books?

    Artest: Oh, no, Phil Jackson’s championship acceptance speech for next year! It’s a hoot!

  • Logan Camillo

    Ron to little girl: Alright now just put this on ben wallace’s door step, ring the bell and run.

  • Stefanie

    Ron: okay lil girl, i want you to tell me whats in this box. Girl: (in her head) sure wont be a ring! (said) hmmmm why dus it weight 15 pounds!? ron: ooops! look at the other box.

  • http://ggmd@mail.com greg

    Don’t worry. Go ahead and open it. There’s no Frog or snake inside.

  • Victor Landin

    Girl: Okay repeat after me, M-A-I-L
    Ron thinks: “Man I should have gone to that school after all”.

  • Joel Jose

    Honey, I promise I didn’t put your little brother in there. Didn’t you see my interview after game 7 last year?

  • Joel Jose

    Honey, I promise I didn’t put your little brother in there. Didn’t you see my interview after game 7 last year?

  • quran mustafa hall


  • Alan

    It’s simple Ron, if it fits it ships. However, even at the cheapest shipping rates no one is going to order your album.

  • http://roryl.h@gmail.com rory

    Girl: ” Yo. This ain’t going overnight!? ”
    Ron: ” Uhhhhhh”
    Girl: ” Don’t give me some recession excuse.”

  • Blake Burdack

    FAN:Now remember our deal i give this to you and i have your pomission to think about you in the tub later tonight.
    Ron : fine

  • Craig M.

    Little girl; “Look Ron it’s from the Indiana Pacers, I think they finaly gave you your self respect back”
    Ron;”Wow this box is really light”

  • http://slamonline.com james h. ellis jr

    lil girl; i don’t listen to ur music.and i don’t think some kid in africa wants to either..why don’t u send him some ur shoes…that they could use.RON RON….AHH LIL GIRL IT”T CALLED TAX RIGHT OFF/MAYBE THEY CAN SELL EM ON THE BLACKMARKET? DANG LIL GIRL U SURE ARE SMART!

  • http://www.sonicbids.com doyouwantmore

    “Mr. Artest, this box is ticking.” Artest: “Never mind that, keep writing. It’s spelled S-H-A-C-K-L-E-F-O-R-…”

  • Ethan Krygier

    Ron:our next mission is to send Shaq his birthday present
    Girl: I hope its a Guide to Free Throws. Ive seen those before and they aren’t so pretty.

  • Craig M.

    Ron; “Wow the NBA sent me all of Lebron’s points he can’t use this year. I wonder what they did with the ones I havn’t scoredb this year”
    Little Girl:”I dont think they can fit those in a flat rate box”

  • Craig

    “Look Ron Kobe sent you thos dribbling goggles you can”t look down in.”
    “Maby he’s trying to send you a message.”

  • Yatah Zama

    Little Girl: Uncle Ronnie there is a shipping price here.

    Ron: Girl don’t worry. You know I’m on the Lakers. I gets PAID!

  • MistahCee

    Ron: “Here are all my earnings from when i auctioned off my championship ring…. the nba cares? more like Ron cares :)