Wednesday, April 20th, 2011 at 1:43 pm  |  6 responses

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L.O.N. — Melllllllllooooooo!!!!

Ray Allen won a couple Playoff games, his mom ran a marathon.

by Shannon Booher

Line Of The Night:

Carmelo Anthony — 42 points, 17 boards, 6 assists, 2 blocks

Spectacular. With Chauncey out from the start, and Amar’e knocked out midway through with back spasms, it was an all-time performance, but… the Knicks still lost. Doc Rivers smartly doubled the ish out of him in the final few minutes, and we were all shown that “point forward” is not an accurate descriptor of Jared Jeffries. You think Melo looked around at any point and thought, “Wait… I thought I rejected the trade to the Nets?”?

Honorable Mention Of The Night:

Rajon Rondo — 30 points, 7 assists, 4 boards, 2 steals

We could not give him the L.O.N.nie because, well, he BETTER score 30 when given that many wide open lanes to the basket! After he picked up an early foul, Toney Douglas did not even try to guard Rondo in transition, but what was worse, was the lack of help. With Billups sidelined Douglas was probably making the smart play, in an effort to remain on the floor, but the four other guys out there need to be aware of the situation too. But then what in the world was that play where it looked like he intentionally fouled Rondo close to halfcourt? Bizarre.

Worst Of The Night:

Bill Walker — 2 points on 0-11 shooting

Ouch. And he got a dumb technical, giving the Cs a free point which proved fairly important at the end of the game. This was the Knicks downfall in a nutshell — the side cats did not come through.

Near Beast Of The Night:

Dwight Howard — 33 points, 19 boards, 2 steals, 1 block in 48 minutes

That’s EVERY minute in case you didn’t know. Another dominating performance from the guy who received the L.O.N. M.V.P. vote. They almost blew this one, though, despite a seemingly uninspired (except for J-Creezy) effort from the Hawks. Seriously — Josh Smith and Joe Johnson — the Playoffs started a few days ago. Y’all are invited to participate. Special note to Josh — you are allowed to drive to the basket and utilize your insane physical gifts.

Sixth Man Of The Night:

Peja Stojakovic — 21 points, 5 boards, 1 steal

This role is filled by different guy every night from a seeming cast of thousands in Dallas. Sometimes guys like this falter on the road, though, at least that’s what the Blazers are telling themselves. Also, given the fact that Peja is a virtual statue at this point, why isn’t someone in his pocket out there?

RAY. ALLEN’S. MOM. Fan. Bedazzler. Stander. Clapper. Marathon Runner. STAR… Dirk’s Dad? Not so much… Our congrats go to Lamar Odom — the official player of L.O.N. — for his Sixth Man Of The Year award. L.O.N. fo’ life… The Andy and Landry Shooooowww, duh, doom, doom… Love, love, love the successful KG post move in the clutch… Maybe the Hawks should have shot strictly from 30+ feet the whole night. J-Creezy and Joe Johnson got it done from out there… Are those Playoff beards in Orlando? But Dwight is only giving us the goatee?… Orlando is part of the “Unnecessary Three-Man Booth” Club. Pat Garrity sounds very similar to Matt Goukas (who’s a pro), and adds basically nothing interesting to the conversation…