Monday, December 3rd, 2012 at 9:00 am  |  164 responses

Kobe Bryant Says He’ll ‘Kick Everybody’s Ass’ if Lakers Don’t Improve


by Marcel Mutoni / @marcel_mutoni

Prior to the start of the season, this is not how anyone pictured things going for the Los Angeles Lakers, after all of the splashy moves they made in the summer.

They weren’t supposed to fire their coach just five games into the season, they weren’t supposed to play without Steve Nash for this long, and they most certainly weren’t supposed to lose to the hapless Orlando Magic at home (giving up 40 fourth-quarter points in the process.)

And yet, here we are.

Naturally, Kobe Bryant is infuriated by his team’s struggles, and says it’s time for everyone — especially Pau Gasol — to toughen up, or else there will be hell to pay.

Per Fox Sports:

“I’ll kick everybody’s ass in this locker room if it doesn’t happen,” Bryant said after a 113-103 loss to the Orlando Magic at Staples Center. Yes, the 6-10 Orlando Magic. “It’s the attitude you have to have. Metta (World Peace) is the same way. Dwight (Howard) has it in him as well. Even though he smiles a lot, he cares a lot about this. Come hell or high water, this has to get done.”

“Pau has to make some adjustments, obviously, to his game. He might not be posting up as much as he likes, but he just has to adjust. The reality is, I’ve adjusted. I’ve never run this many screen-and-rolls in my entire life. But I’ve worked on it. I’ve worked on handling the ball; worked on coming off screens and making plays. I’m used to being in the post much, much more. You have to adjust; you have to master what it is we’re trying to do here. Pau’s talented enough and good enough to be able to do that.” [...] “Put your big-boy pants on,” Kobe said with a trace of disgust in his voice. “C’mon … just adjust. You can’t whine about it or complain about it. Heck, I’m 34 years old, and I’m running screen-and-rolls out there because Steve (Nash) is out, and my ass is running up and down the court more than I ever have in my entire career. But you have to adjust to it. I stay after practice and work on my ball-handling and screen-and-rolls, and when you have the talent to adjust to it, you just … have … to … adjust … to … it. We’re not going to lose (Pau). This is just not going to happen. I’ve been around him long enough to know how to deal with him.”

The last comment from Bryant regarding Gasol sounds like a threat … which probably isn’t too far from reality.

Pau is posting career lows in points (12.6ppg) and field goal accuracy (42%), and generally looks lost in coach Mike D’Antoni’s offense. He was on the bench late in the fourth quarter last night, as the Lakers suffered their latest humiliating loss.

Kobe Bryant’s threats of violence notwithstanding, it promises to be one long, strange season in Los Angeles.

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  • shockexchange

    The Shock Exchange thinks it’s “trial-and-error.” Horry Jr said something to Chris Childs’ face and look what happened.

  • Caboose

    Cosign, save the Kobe FG%, I agree he tried to start a run, which was a good thing, but it didn’t work. He wasn’t at 50% when he started chucking, and he sure wasn’t after.

  • http://twitter.com/Jzakoni Sanchez

    Lol probably will

  • keyon dooling

    this MF is NEVER accountable. take some responsibility and try to shoot 47% for a whole season you clown

  • http://twitter.com/Jzakoni Sanchez

    This fool acts like Pau is the one blowing games when it’s the whole squad messing up huge. Things are only gonna get harder when nash gets back

  • Caboose

    Nobody? You’re telling me that if I looked through the archive here at SLAM I wouldn’t find a single Laker fan who was happy that D’Antoni was hired?

  • Max

    Have you seen the games? Dwight is having a ton of fun even when they’re sucking lol.

  • Caboose

    C’mon, when has Kobe ever done anything wrong, EVER?

  • Chris

    Exactly.

  • Mike Mihalow

    Spurs rest their players: $250,000 fine.
    Kobe threatens violence towards teammates: $0 fine.

  • Chris

    look, Antoni’s system is flawed to begin with. He philosophy is to outscore teams to win, yet this Laker team are not athletic enought to run & gun and put that kind of points on the board every night. When they then have absolutely no defensive ability whatsoever, they’re screwed. It doesn’t help that they’re all gassed from running up and down either. The core players are well into their 30s and and have more mileage than most. Antoni is just a bad, bad fit for this team. Nash alone won’t change that, unless they somehow magically become better at the defensive end with him in the lineup. Which they won’t of course.

  • shutup

    lmao @suckerpunch.

  • Chris

    I certainly don’t mind Kobe ripping Pau a new one, cause he really deserves it. That being said, Kobe would be wise to stop roaming and trying to play some decent D for once.

  • Caboose

    While I’m sure your medical knowledge and training is extensive, I feel compelled to tell you that not all forms of tendinitis are the same. But I’m sure you knew that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jay.brodes Jay Brodes

    kobe is ticked and i do not blame him. they look like ish. i would not be doing this publicly but yeah things have to change and fast. i hate the excuse wait til nash gets back. this only makes the defense worse. only thing with nash coming back it takes wear and tear off of kb! period..not looking good. kb..drop your inline cw!

  • http://twitter.com/sooperfadeaway nbk

    YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

    .
    .”He philosophy is to outscore teams to win” – well no f*cking sh*t? that’s stupid as all hell. he should be trying to score less than other teams, definitely.

    D’Antoni’s system isn’t run and gun. First of all. It’s fast paced. But there is structure, it’s not just get out there and shoot a bunch. The team has been running the offense for what, 9 games? you expect it to work well that fast, without a training camp, and without their starting PG? Are you at all, looking at the situation with any sense of reason?

    .
    What happened to Phoenix when Mike D’Antoni traded Shawn Marion for Shaq? Did the offense die because they traded one of the fastest forwards in the league for it’s slowest Center? I bet, you being as ignorant about this situation as you obviously are, wouldn’t respond, “well, they still had the best offense in the league” —- when that would be the correct response.
    .
    Having a fast team, and D’Antoni being successful is not related. It would probably help, assuming you have players that can shoot and guard multiple positions, but it isn’t the key aspect of a successful offense.
    .
    The key to D’Antoni’s offense is spacing and efficiency. Neither of which have emerged 12 games in for a few VERY VERY simple reasons.
    .
    .First – They are all new to the system except the one guy who is injured. With no time to practice, it’s EXPECTED that they struggle to get into a rhythm.
    .Second – As of right now, Kobe Bryant is their lead playmaker, which, given his career, is not the position to expect him to play in and flourish right away. Especially without giving him the opportunity to learn the small things that make it work, that he will inevitably learn from Steve Nash. Assuming we realize how smart Bryant is, and how badly he wants to tie Jordan in rings.
    .Third – The guys are not in shape to play this offense. That is the most fixable, but biggest issue right now. They went through training camp preparing to play a grind it out, defense oriented game that was more about physical braun then physical stamina. Now they are in the complete opposite situation and have to adjust……which will take TIME.
    .
    No reason to come to any conclusions about the Lakers yet. To do so, is stupid.

  • Redd

    He still has the tendinitis issue.

  • Redd

    Never ever, he’s the Basketball Messiah.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=509819249 Gaurav P.

    Pretty sure he said he messed up to the media when he had 10 turnovers just last week. Its rare, but Kobe does call himself out once in a while. But not as often as he calls out Pau.

  • R32

    Lezbehonest, hes not fighting anyone esp. MWP.

  • robb

    C’mon Lakers dammit!!

  • LakeShow

    Atta boy Kobe, let them know what’s up.
    Time to get serious.

  • Junior Taylor

    Come on now, LakeShow… even a die-hard Kobe fan like yourself can’t back him up when it comes to this constant habit of him calling out teammates and never taking blame for the team’s struggles.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=509819249 Gaurav P.

    Great breakdown. That actually helped me feel better about the Lakers situation.

  • LakeShow

    Why would Kobe take blame for the teams struggles? I mean that’s always cute and stuff when players like Nash or LeBron take the blame, but we all know it’s not their fault. They may have made bad choices or not executed well 100% of the time, but that doesn’t make it their fault, to me anyway. Where would the Lakers be without Kobe or the Suns all those years without Nash? You shouldn’t blame your MVP’s for the teams struggles when they are playing above the rest of the team.

    I would call Pau out if I were him too.

    12ppg on 42% shooting out of the most skilled post player in the L 20 games into the season……..

    It’s the teams struggles.

    Himself and his team mates are included in that.

    I’m not going to go in on Kobe when he’s playing good ball. He’s made mistakes, but still not as many as Pau, the PG’s, and others have made.

    It’s not Dwight’s FT’s, it’s not the defense, it’s not the offensive execution solely. There is allot of things going wrong with the team right now and if Kobe Bryant wants to call them out…. I’m all for that. If they want to call Kobe out…. I’m all for that.

  • Chukaz

    How cares if Mike Brown didn’t use Jamison, Duhon, and Meeks as well as D’Antoni. He made better use of his 2 all-star bigs. So D’Antoni makes better use of his 8th, 9th, and 10th men. Mike Brown’s issue wasn’t with the starting lineup. The starting lineup was playing really well. Now that d’antoni’s in charge, the starting lineup suffered and i’d argue the the bench is worse. So he’s making good use of Jamison, so what? He’s wasting away Pau and Hill.

  • http://twitter.com/sooperfadeaway nbk

    i appreciate it. i’m telling you, if there will be a time to worry, it’s if the Lakers haven’t put together a good string of games by February. Sounds really late, but given Nash will take another 2 weeks to get back (mid december is the target), Dwight is still rounding into shape (he has a good dominant game, then 3 games where he just looks tired, so probably January at the earliest before he’s back to being daily dwight), and then the 3 or so weeks (approximately 13 games) to get everyone meshing together. February would be the key time for them to come together. If they aren’t showing signs by then, then by all means, start to worry.

  • http://twitter.com/sooperfadeaway nbk

    WHAT IN THE ENTIRE F*CK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

    .

    .First of all, under Mike Brown the Lakers were 28th in Defense, and their record was 1-4. Defending him, is immediately stupid – like unbelievably stupid. (For Comparisons Sake the Lakers are 7-5 with D’Antoni at the helm, and have JUMPED 18 SPOTS to 10th in Defense – without a f*cking training camp)

    .Here is Pau’s stats with Mike Brown – http://www.basketball-reference.com/players/g/gasolpa01/gamelog/2013/#797-801-sum:pgl_basic

    .Here is Pau’s stats with Mike D’Antoni – http://www.basketball-reference.com/players/g/gasolpa01/gamelog/2013/#802-813-sum:pgl_basic

    .

    Well yes, Pau is less productive, but he’s also playing 4 less minutes…..so actually, he’s just as productive. Nothing has changed. -

    ,
    And Antawn Jamison is the 6th man, not the 8th, 9th or 10th. — And Jordan Hill doesn’t play because he can’t shoot. So, in essence, he’s Dwight’s backup. You want him playing over Dwight?
    .
    Bye.

  • speedy

    Cosign NBK.
    It will be hard to adjust to this system without training camp during an 82 game season.
    I still think hiring Phil would have been the better decision to win this year also I love ’7 seconds or less’, because if played right it’s a system that can win it all.

  • J25

    Pau is playing as bad as I’ve ever seen him. No fire, no passion, no power, no motivation. Punch Kobe in the mouth? I don’t think so…. Trade his ass now!!!!!!!!

  • Junior Taylor

    I guess that’s just one of the few qualities a great leader possess and Kobe isn’t one of the them. It may be harsh but it’s 100% true. All-Time great player but all-time bad teammate.

  • RondU33

    @disqus_rOeXXBD2qs:disqus While most of what you posted is 100% true, there’s a point that is pretty easy to conclude, right now. Mike D’Antoni’s “style” on the defensive end is a lax and disinterested affair. There is absolutely no emphasis on defense (other than typical lip service). He’s horrible out of time outs, and routinely gets out coached. He alienates players & will not/can not meld his system to maximize his team’s talent. He’s a gimmick. The “7 secs or Less system” has never been proven to beat an NBA team who’s roster wasn’t a huge underdog. As a head coach, he’s as fraudulent as a $3 bill. By reading your post, it’s obvious you understand the game. Wait until you get to see “DamnPhoney” night in, night out. There’s really no way to prepare you. Oh, his postgame after a tough regular season or playoff loss is a thing of beauty! “The (insert other team)’s are pretty good” was his go to line in NY. I’m not a LAL or Kobe fan, by any stretch, but you guys deserve better than an “offensive coordinator” masquerading as a head coach.

  • J25

    At first I thought is might be okay. After seeing the past few games, Nuggets excluded, I have to agree. I’ll be surprised if D’Antoni’s system works with this team.

  • http://twitter.com/AjpDos Allen Powell

    Don’t forget Doug Christie

  • J25

    This MF is the only player on the team throwing his ass on the line every night. Pau sucks!!!, period.

  • LakeShow

    12ppg on 42%FG’s.
    I mean it’ isn’t Pau’s “fault”, per se, but he isn’t making it easy not to scapegoat on him.

  • LakeShow

    Shut up! NEVER!

  • Fact

    Pau won’t last with the Lakers through January. Hid gradual decline in play is not a result of the current system, as I’ve watched every game over the past few years. His weakness, is he’s weak & inconsistent. Guys just run through him. He doesn’t bring it every night. Gets discouraged easily, can’t get up and down the court, he can no longer hit the outside shot consistently, has trouble holding on to the ball, gets outworked for position in the paint, and can’t seem to make fast moves in the post anymore. He is still a good passer, but this is not enough to offset his deficiencies – ie., for someone making $19M and playing 38 minutes per game. As much as I’ve enjoyed watching him over the years, including his time in Memphis, it’s probably time for a parting of the ways.

  • http://twitter.com/sooperfadeaway nbk

    I live in Phoenix dude. I am the furthest thing there is from a Lakers fan on this website. And I have lived through D’Antoni. I know what his system is, i know what it focuses on, it know how it works.
    .
    And the whole myth that he is a bad defensive coach is purely a myth. He focuses more on offense, because his “theory” is, if you have a better offensive team (like the Lakers do, and the Suns did) then your opponent, it will serve you better to have more attempts. Law of averages if you understand what that is. So, faster paced + better offense = more attempts & more makes (more points). His teams are ridiculously successful. And his defenses in Phoenix, were consistently middle of the pack. Despite not having a single defensive anchor.

    .
    Now that he’s taken over for Mike Brown, the Lakers have jumped from 28th in defensive rating to 10th. To put things into perspective.
    .
    “has never been proven to beat an NBA team who’s roster wasn’t a huge underdog.” – FALSE
    .
    http://www.basketball-reference.com/playoffs/NBA_2005_WCS.html

    .
    See, you don’t really know what you are talking about, but you obviously do watch ESPN and believe what you are told by Magic Johnson and other hired “analysts” who don’t actually pay attention to the things they are saying and whether or not they are accurate.

  • J25

    Agree with Chukaz. Pau has been simply – below average.

  • http://twitter.com/sooperfadeaway nbk

    your boy Kobe was half the defensive problem last night. — (the other half was Antawn Jamison).

  • http://twitter.com/sooperfadeaway nbk

    @disqus_oxoGJMLagc:disqus @disqus_j65FuvcSML:disqus – i gotta show this to you guys. Afflalo really bothers Kobe. http://www.basketball-reference.com/play-index/h2h_finder.cgi?request=1&p1=afflaar01&p2=bryanko01

    .
    Check the efficiency.

  • LakeShow

    Means more to me that the opponents always felt the need to get physical with Kobe than anything else.(Childs, Christie, Artest, Bell, Barnes, list goes on) Can’t stop him on the court better try to stop him some other way…

    If you hate Kobe, you see it as a cool thing for a guy to punch him, but if you respect and understand his skills it makes guys like Christie and Childs look like well child’s. OK, fine children.

    Nothing special about punching a dude in the face, ask me I’ve been on both sides.

    How’s Christie’s career ‘stack up’? He ain’t even Stackhouse.

    How bout Childs? You google his name and the 1st thing that pops up is him punching Kobe…

    You google Kobe and the first thing that shows up is “stats.” Followed by “Networth.”

    …………………………………………………………………………………………………
    …………………………………………………………………………………………..

    ………………………………………………………………………………….
    ……………………………………………………………………
    ………………………………………………..
    ……………………………….
    ………………
    …….
    …
    .

    Yeah…

  • LakeShow

    Pretty well? Right? 5 chips, Over a dozen first teams made, both offensive and defensive.

    I mean he’s no Chris Childs…. Childs was the ’94 MVP!!!

    Sure it was of a different League all together, but the dudes one of the greats!!……..

    NBA Averages of 6.9 PPG on a career 40% FG’s…. Pheewwwwie!

    Baller!

  • LakeShow

    Yeah it is an absurd thought to think that the best PG in the world at running this offense might help the team….
    We’re all a bunch of dreamers I know…

  • LakeShow

    career 6.9 ppg on 40%Fg’s….

    Shhhhhhhhhh….ut your Got Damn pie eating hole.

  • LakeShow

    Always a good read.

  • ByAnyMeansNecessary

    This would be funny if anyone was comparing Chris Childs to Kobe as a player. But no one was. At all.

  • shockexchange

    The Shock Exchange sees some “revisionist history” in your comment … The fact pattern is that (i) Horry Jr stepped to Childs, (ii) Childs cleared Horry Jr out of his personal space, (iii) Horry Jr threw a short left and (iv) Childs introduced Horry Jr to his two best friends – “Pete” (right fist) and “RePete” (left fist)

  • ByAnyMeansNecessary

    No one is comparing Kobe and Chris Childs or Doug Christie as players. Of course it means more to you to talk about the kind of players they were because it makes you feel good to know that Kobe was better than they were. But that means nothing here. Kobe doesn’t exactly have a reputation for being a fighter. Growing up in Italy and the suburbs of Philly and then spending the rest of your life living in Newport Beach and taking helicopters to practices and games doesn’t really make you hardcore. Which is why him even joking about doing anything violent to anyone is laughable. It’s pretty pointless to bring up the stats of these guys as if anyone here is unaware of the fact that they weren’t exactly Hall of Fame caliber players.

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