Friday, September 4th, 2009 at 8:00 am  |  132 responses

Top 50: Rudy Gay, no. 44

The definitive ranking of the NBA’s best players.

by JeffRudy Gay Fox

High up in his office at the NBA’s headquarters, commissioner David Stern sits silently plotting which territory his league will conquer next on a giant world map.  He is interrupted by his secretary buzzing in on his phone.

Secretary – Sir, Mr. Gay is here to see you.

Stern – Send him in please.

Rudy Gay enters the room, kneels before Stern and kisses his ring.

Stern – Rudy, my son, to what do I owe this pleasure?

Gay – Godfather Stern, I have come to humbly ask a favor of you.

Stern – We’ll get to that, my son.  But first I want to congratulate you on the summer you are having.  I’m hearing good things about you my boy.  Your putting on muscle to enable you to have a more formidable post up game to go along with your already strong slashing and outside shooting abilities.  I also heard good things from USA Basketball – you opened a lot of eyes while at their camp.

Gay – Thank you Godfather Stern – it has been an eventful summer.

Stern – Mark my words Rudy – you’re going to be a star, kid.  You just turned 23-years-old – you haven’t even come close to reaching your potential yet.  You have great size for a small forward, you can knock down the three or slash to the hoop.  You will be one of the top scorers in the League before long.  You also have the potential to be a lockdown defender and above average rebounder if you put your mind to it.  The sky’s the limit for you my son.

Gay – Thank you Godfather Stern – it is quite an honor hearing this come out of the mouth of such a great and powerful man like yourself.

Stern – I mean everything I say, Rudy my boy.  Now, you mentioned something about a favor.  Is this about that travesty of a Top 50 player list that SLAMonline just came out with?  No. 44 for such a great talent like yourself is a slap in the face of all that is good and just in the world.  You’re only a few spots ahead of that one-dimensional Ben Gordon.  Say the word Rudy and I’ll “have a word” with those know-nothing SLAM writers.

Gay – No, no – it has nothing to do with that.  I’m honored to be ranked at No. 44.  What I wanted to talk to you about was the ball.

Stern – The ball?  We already took those synthetic balls from the past out for a little drive in the desert - they won’t be heard from again, if you catch my drift.

Gay – No, I’m talking about the number of balls that are used in a game.  I humbly ask that you consider having two balls in play at the same time during our games next year, Mr. Godfather sir.

Stern – And why would you want us to do that?

Gay – Well, to be considered one of the top scorers in the League, which I should be, I will need to get plenty of touches each game.  O.J. Mayo was just a rookie last season and he still took more shots than I did.  Now the wise guys that run our team have decided to add Mr. Black Hole, Zach Randolph, to the roster.  I’ll need an extra ball in play just to get up enough shots.

Stern – I like that idea, my boy.  It would help us sell more balls.  It would raise scoring levels, and we know how much fans like scoring.  Plus, with more teams hitting the 100-point threshold every game, you know what that would mean?

Gay – No, what?

Stern – More free chalupas!!  Everyone loves chalupas, especially when they are free.  I will take this two ball idea into serious consideration, young Rudy.  And if I decide against it, the least I will do is “have a word” with Mr. Randolph and Mr. Mayo.

(Shortly after this story was written Zach Randolph “mysteriously” vanished off the face of the earth and O.J. Mayo woke up one morning with the stuffed head of the Grizzlies mascot, Grizz, in his bed).

Read more of Jeff Fox at The Hoops Manifesto.

Notes
• Rankings are based solely on projected ’09-10 performance.
• Contributors to this list include: Jake Appleman, Brett Ballantini, Russ Bengtson, Toney Blare, Shannon Booher, Myles Brown, Franklyn Calle, Gregory Dole, Emry DowningHall, Jonathan Evans, Adam Fleischer, Jeff Fox, Sherman Johnson, Aaron Kaplowitz, John Krolik, Holly MacKenzie, Ryne Nelson, Chris O’Leary, Ben Osborne, Alan Paul, Susan Price, Sam Rubenstein, Khalid Salaam, Kye Stephenson, Adam Sweeney, Vincent Thomas, Tzvi Twersky, Justin Walsh, Joey Whelan, Eric Woodyard, and Nima Zarrabi.
• Want more of the SLAMonline Top 50? Check out the archive.

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  • http://www.infamousklav.blogspot.com Klav

    @Pardeep
    straight up, thats a pause. LOL

  • http://myspace.com/showbread Bryan

    Nbk doesn’t know sh*t.

  • http://dwd nbk

    Disregard that guys…I know nothing of basketball. I am an idiot. Sorry for wasting your time.

  • http://nationofmillions.ca ciolkstar

    Granger’s gotta be top 20. Right?
    Gay is more athletic than Danny Boy, but I’m not sure if he’s got the right makeup, in terms of effort and intensity, to get to Granger’s level. Although, Granger does get a lot more looks in Indy than Rudy’s been getting in Memphis… Gay definitely has top 20 upside.

  • davidR

    nbk, you realize a 38 year old michael jordan was able to average ~21ppg in 02 right? i’m pretty sure a prime nique would be very close to averaging 40ppg in todays game.

  • davidR

    ciolk, with indiana’s offense and granger’s output, i’m sure he’ll be in the top 20. if not, at least in the low 20s

  • davidR

    of course, nique would have to be on a whack team that likes to run

  • davidR

    i’m curious to see where monta will land on this list

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com Moose

    davidR: Don’t get your hopes up. I don’t see Ellis past 35.

  • Furious

    tavoris is a douche.

  • tavoris

    The comments section is a place to further discuss the topics in this post. Commenters who seek to accomplish any of the following may be banned:
    - Personally attack other commenters.
    - Make derogatory comments regarding race, ethnicity, language, gender, sexual orientation or religion.
    - Troll, or comment with the intention of creating problems. Trolling includes, but isn’t limited to, baiting people to flame at you, encouraging people to leave the site, spamming and using alternate IDs.

  • tavoris

    furious..that was for you.

  • http://www.realcavsfans.com Anton

    CJ: “Gay over Jameer Nelson?” How do you know Jameer is a bottom? Just cause he’s short don’t mean he take it.

  • Furious

    But the real question is: by posting that are you baiting me to “flame at you”? in which case it would be for you also.

  • tavoris

    nah furious…not even gettn into that. If my refusal to co-flame with nbk makes me a douche, then so be it. For the record, I think Gay should be ranked somewhere around where Granger is…he’s really that good. I just don’t see how anyone can think that he would be JUST AS GOOD now if Houston kept him. I guess the fact that TMac’s progression as a player rapidly accelerated once he got from under Carter’s shadow doesn’t look like a VERY similar situation.

  • tavoris

    Anton…whoa

  • Furious

    i reckon you should probably copy those rules to Anton as well tavoris. That could be the worst post i’ve ever seen.

  • tavoris

    that did come out of left field. Anton is obviously one of our more “progressive” posters…

  • http://Www.bbaxn.com Darksaber

    Leave Anton alone, people. He can’t help it, he just loves those provocative one liners. Don’t worry, he knows Ryne is keeping an eye on his comments, just in case. :-)

  • http://Www.bbaxn.com Darksaber

    I prefer Darth Stern to Don Davide personally. (Nerdjuice!!!!)

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com Blinguo

    Did James the Balla mean Anthony Randolph?
    Perhaps Monta makes the list soon enough, not high davidR, as SLAM’s throwing a bone to GSW fans. Randolph is just as key – as Monta to anything the Warriors are doing next season(especially if Jax is out), but Monta has more regular fan and youtube highlight appeal.
    -
    ^LeoneL – Do this for line breaks considering sometimes the old Shift+ENTER does not work here, most infamously in like the nick naming contests.

  • http://images.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://slamonline.com/online/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/kobe_bryant_top_50.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.slamonline.com/online/category/nba/slamonline-top-50/& James the Balla

    No, Morrow.

  • http://bighish3@yahoo.com the big H

    he is not better then Iverson or Mayo how in the hell r you rating the list an win the list get`s 2 the end lebron beter be #####1 kobe can be 2 or 3

  • davidR

    test
    -
    test

  • http://youtube.com/pyrobooby tealish

    Haha, it’s getting to the point where I read something on SLAMonline and can foresee an Anton.

  • tealish

    Thoughts re. the ranking:
    - should be too low. I saw him in the early 30′s.
    - could be accurate if this ranking assumes AI goes to Memphis where the shots become even less to go around and is based on pure production in 09/10.

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com Blinguo

    Morrow is a supreme shooter James, he doesn’t set up the offense. He finds and creates his own. However in the Nellie offense(or anyone’s really) you need to do something to set someone else up. He won’t be any more important than Monta or Randolph, but just as important (doing his role). And of those three, I say Monta gets on, if any Warriors even get on this list.
    -
    But if you have some thoughts on why he should, let ‘em out son!

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com Blinguo

    Randolph though, if you forgot or misplaced the person with the name, is the one with tremendous upside. The lanky swingman who can run down a defensive rebound all the way down to the other end and finish himself. Among dunking on Yao and screaming at him last year (he did get a T), and people around here tend to like – as long as he doesn’t get corrupted under Nellie’s crazy guidance. He was in the quick one pagers in the Kobe Finals – How ya like me now issue, “Speed Racer”.

  • http://www.hibachi20.blogspot.com Hursty

    There are a bunch of guys who’ve turned out fine as 1st or 2nd options on good squads after playing as the 3rd or 4th option. If you’re good, you’ll get minutes (usually).

  • al

    have you really watched the guy playing?

    I know it is tough to play for Memphis but he has the worst decission making in the whole league, no kidding.

    Besides that, he has all the potential, I agree

  • Quail

    Jodie Meeks #1!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Kent Kanada

    iverson is the galactic plug to zebo’s black hole. but with a good offense…and defense. basically this all depends on work from the coach to have a good thought out and well-suited strategy for the team. but i think Iverson Mayo Gay Randolph Gasol lineup could definitely work if Randolph and Iverson became strong role players. I’d call them above average role players. But the players i dont know about sooo….so the grizzlies universe is just not possible. Canada knew it.

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