Monday, September 20th, 2010 at 8:00 am  |  175 responses

Top 50: Joakim Noah, no. 43

The definitive ranking of the NBA’s best players.

by Bryan Crawford / @_BryanCrawford

Oh man, I can hear it now…

Dude, no way Joakim Noah is better than Ray Allen, Gilbert Arenas, Lamar Odom, OJ Mayo, John Wall, Al Horford and Jason Kidd?! Four of those guys are effing All-Stars for crying out loud!! No way!!

It happens every year. Somebody gets ranked too high, too low, or in some cases, gets omitted altogether, and people freak out. So working under the assumption thatJoakim Noah people will have something to say about Joakim being ranked No. 43 in SLAMonline’s Top 50 (because someone almost assuredly will), this is my rebuttal…

Opinions are like a-holes: Everybody’s got one.

But not everyone has a 6-11 version of Troy Polamalu on their favorite NBA team. A player who goes hard on every single play, on every single down, er, possession, and yes, has great hair.

Let’s be real, of the seven players ranked lower than Noah, one hasn’t even gotten his NBA uniform sweaty yet, the other – his teammate – literally isn’t even the face of the franchise anymore, and the other five, my feeling is that their team’s would’ve been OK without them, more or less.

So, no, Joakim isn’t “better” than those aforementioned players, but none were as critical to their team’s success as Noah was to the Chicago Bulls. Not a single one. It’s very simple: When he played, they won. When he was out, they didn’t. No ifs, ands or buts about it.

When the recent talk around Chicago centered on Carmelo Anthony possibly coming to the Windy City via trade, people had the gall to say they’d be willing to part with Joakim in order to make the deal happen. It made me wonder if I was the only one who could see just how valuable he really is.

Look, Melo is a lethal scorer; one of the best in the game without question. But let’s be real, you can find another player who can put the ball in the hole without having to look very far. The League is littered with scorers. Maybe not of Melo’s ilk, but they’re out there.

What you can’t find so easily is a guy who’s basically a 7-footer, who’s all heart, all hustle, and who is without question the leader of his team without even being its best player. Or second best player. Or even its third best player. Name another guy in the NBA who fits that profile?

You can’t. There isn’t one.

Joakim Noah is just that special. His basketball skill set isn’t anything great, eye-popping, or jaw-dropping, but he does a lot of things extremely well which makes him an invaluable member of your team, especially if you want to win basketball games. Not to mention the fact that he’s a natural born leader with a penchant for deflecting attention his way, leaving his teammates the freedom to just play their games.

It’s no wonder other teams want him, but the Bulls would be crazy to get rid of him, especially now with the collection of talent they’ve been able to assemble over the summer.

Consider that in the 64 regular season games he played in last year, his 2.1 assists per game ranked him top 10 among all centers in the NBA. His 11 rebounds per game placed him third. He was top 10 in double-doubles with 28, and in the Playoffs, fughedaboutit. His numbers were even more ridiculous.

Truth be told, had he not come back from injury when he did, the Bulls wouldn’t have even made it to the postseason.

Even though he played in only five contests, he still wound up leading all centers with 13 rebounds per game in the Playoffs. He was tied for first with Tim Duncan by dishing 2.6 assists per game. He led ALL centers in steals with 1.8 per game, and was seventh in blocks with 1.4 per game.

He also had three double doubles, which was good for fifth, he shot .947 from the free-throw line, and there is no statistic to measure how much heart he showed as he continued to fight through plantar fasciitis (yes, his foot was still bothering him) while setting the internets on fire as he dissed the capitol of Cuyahoga County.

The only time a player has been booed louder in Cleveland was when LeBron James showed up at Quicken Loans Arena wearing a Miami Heat uniform.

Wait…that hasn’t even happened yet. But you get the point.

So just in case you want to go there, it’s really hard to argue where Joakim’s been placed on this list.

And if there is one thing that anyone could possibly have a gripe with him about, it’s that he recently turned down a five-year contract extension worth somewhere in the neighborhood of $60-65 million because he feels he’s worth more and reportedly wants to make $70-75 million.

Ridiculous? Well, that depends on who you ask.

Unrealistic? Maybe, but you’ve got to think big, right?

People have doubted Joakim Noah his entire basketball career. But maybe, just maybe, he knows something about his value and his place among the best players in basketball that you don’t.

Let that one marinate for a minute.

SLAMonline TOP 50 PLAYERS OVERALL RANK POSITION RANK
Player Team Position 2010 2009 2010 2009
Ray Allen Celtics SG 50 36 11 10
Gilbert Arenas Wizards SG 49 34 10 9
Lamar Odom Lakers PF 48 33 14 10
John Wall Wizards PG 47 NR 13 NR
OJ Mayo Grizzlies SG 46 46 9 12
Al Horford Hawks C 45 NR 6 NR
Jason Kidd Mavs PG 44 45 12 10
Joakim Noah Bulls C 43 NR 5 NR

Notes
• Rankings are based solely on projected ’10-11 performance.
• Contributors to this list include: Jeremy Bauman, Maurice Bobb, Erildas Budraitis, Sean Ceglinsky, Ben Collins, Bryan Crawford, Sandy Dover, Adam Figman, Manny Maduakolam, Eddie Maisonet, Ryne Nelson, Doobie Okon, Ben Osborne, Charles Peach, Branden Peters, Quinn Peterson, David Schnur, Todd Spehr, Kyle Stack, Adam Sweeney, Dennis Tarwood, Tracy Weissenberg, Lang Whitaker, Eric Woodyard, and Nima Zarrabi.
• Want more of the SLAMonline Top 50? Check out the archive.

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  • http://www.dontevenreply.com total scrotal implosion

    To say celts would have been ok without ray, same for al and hawks, and esp lamar and lal, is just stupid. To use noahs superfreak ft numbers fo five games as evidence of how good he is, well, thats just retarded. Noah is a very good player whos great in his role. This might even be a fair ranking for him. But making outlandish statements is just foolish. Crawford, this is yet another fail for you.

  • http://www.kb24.com The Seed

    Jukai
    Noah has not reminded me of Rodman ever, a good defensive player yes, but not Rodman, aka THE WORM.

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    @total scrotal: And you kind sir just helped prove my original point. Also, if you were actually reading for comprehension and not just skimming or itching to argue with me, you would see that I used more than just FT numbers as an illustration of Joakim being worthy enough to be ranked ahead of those other guys. Yet another comment fail for you too. You’ve perfected it.

  • JTaylor21

    @Tavors, I think that you’re stretching it by not including the GROAT in the Top 20 PF list. I will just go of the head and name all the great PFs I could think of and I bet that Rodman makes it in. TD, Malone, KG, Pettit, Barkley, Dirk, McHale, Cowens, Kemp, CWebb, SHaywood, EHayes, JLucas, DeBusschere, DSchayes, and last but not least Rodman. See I think that the Worm makes it in with room to spare. There may be other great PFs that I forgot about but I think that Rodman’s career allows for his name to be included.

  • TrailBlazing&SportingLisbon

    total scrotal is a dumbfu(k…good ranking for Noah.

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    @total scrotal: Since you ride the short bus, I’ll make this very easy to understand: The Lakers, Celtics, Hawks, and Mavs still had enough overall talent to be considered good teams and theoretically would’ve still done well without those guys. Reason being, those teams didn’t depend on them as much for their success as the Bulls did with Joakim Noah who without him, the Bulls would’ve been bad. Very bad in fact, even with Derrick Rose. I hope that made sense to you, although I’m not holding my breath that it did.

  • http://www.dontevenreply.com total scrotal implosion

    Crawford. I did see that you used other numbers to illustrate noahs worth. I didnt comment on those, cuz they were accurate. As I stated earlier, this is probably a fair ranking for noah. Hes a very good player with excellent skills in a few areas. Fts, however, are not close to one of his strong suits. To show he shot 94% for five playoff games as a way to state how good of a player he is, is akin to showing chris pauls dunk on dwight as evidence of how sorry a defender dwight is. The actual thing is nice and all, but its just gonna happen the once. Noah will never shoot 94% ft over five games again. hawks wouldnt have done much without horford, lal without lamr neither. Yes they would still be better than say, raps, but lal wouldnt have won the title. Youre overstating things, thats all. Noah is a rare breed and bulls should keep him for a long time.

  • wottywo

    Bryan Crawford: I never said I hated Noah, I said We didn’t need him on team U.S.A, that’s not hate, I don’t hate anyone I just don’t respect his game. My comment about him turning down team U.S.A is that why would he even comment on turning down team U.S.A and team U.S.A won the gold medal(sounds like he’s full of himself). Again take what I’m typing and think before you comment. I know you are saying Noah is the present day Rodman. But until he averages 16 rebounds in one season, and shuts people like me up with his skills on the court, I don’t see it.

  • http://www.dontevenreply.com total scrotal implosion

    Noah is a great hustler and everything, but hes closer to junk yard dog than rodman

  • http://myspace.com/emarosa Bryan

    One of the most polarizing writers on slam , writing about one of the most polarizing players in the L. Good work sir. Even though I f*cking HATE Noah.

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    @total scrotal: I didn’t overstate anything. I didn’t say that LA would’ve still won a ‘ship without Lamar, or that BOS would’ve still made it to the Finals without Ray, etc… What I said was those teams would’ve been “OK” meaning they wouldn’t have totally sucked without those players because they had a greater collection of talent top to bottom unlike the Bulls who — once again — would’ve totally sucked without Joakim because they didn’t have as much talent. This shouldn’t be so difficult to comprehend. Everyone else seemed to pick up on that notion except for you. As for his FT percentage, I don’t care what you say, 94% is good no matter how many games it came over. Besides, the guy shot 74% from the line last season and is a 70% FT shooter for his career. Do you realize how good that is for a center? The fact that he shot so well in the Playoffs is evidence of him picking up his play when it counts the most. In fact, his FT shooting has always gone up during the Playoffs versus the regular season. Do you do actual research before you speak or do you just make stuff up? I’m guessing the latter.

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    @wottytwo: It’s clear that Joakim was asked a question and he answered it. It’s highly unlikely that he meant it as a diss towards Team USA. Besides, he’s said for the longest that he wants to play for the French National Team. He said Team USA asked, he declined, and he gave his reason why. How is that being full of himself? Because the quote came out after the Worlds? Who knows when this interview was even taken? Maybe you should think before typing your comments.

  • wottywo

    @Bryan Crawford :I do think before typing my comments, and for some reason you won’t let this die maybe. Again I don’t care who he plays for or what he does, but you guys are overrating him. Your a bulls fan right?

  • http://joeloholic.wordpress.com Joel O’s

    @Bryan Crawford: Great write up! I love this guy. Honestly, the only reason people dislike Noah so much is because he routinely drops 15 and 15 on their squads, and they secretly wish they had him on their team.

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    @wottytwo: A Bulls fan you ask? Why yes, yes I am. I’m also a fan of French bread, French toast, French fries, and Joakim Noah. In some circles, all of those things are overrated too. What can I say?

  • http://www.dontevenreply.com total scrotal implosion

    That obviously depends on your definition of ok. Anyways, that wasnt all I meant when I said you overstate things. You overstate noahs ability. Once again, hes a very good player and does a great job in his role, but you are overrating him. I very easily comprehend what youre saying. Id like to know how many fts he shot in thosefive games. Samples size has to be taken into account. Noah is a decent ft shooter, despite his weird a@# shot. how can you accuse me of making anything up? I brought up no stats, just said youre overstating things, and you are.

  • http://www.manutd.com t-money

    Hater? That’s all you got? I’ve started this saying that Noah should be HIGHER on the list. Insulting random people on the Internet? Cmon guys, who the eff cares?! Dennis Rodman actually could and did shut down 4s on his own. No help. TD could do that in his prime as well. It’s not an impossible feat, it’s just very, very difficult. Even KG in his prime was more of an “anchor” type defender as opposed to just taking someone out of the game. Noah is very, very far from that. He’s a good defender, that’s it. Now if the comparison is about theatrics and off the court stuff, whatever.

  • http://www.dontevenreply.com total scrotal implosion

    On another note, I find it quite odd that slam would allow crawford to continuously personally attack commentators. especially when it is the first rule on this site. I debated with him about overrating noah and overstating other things. And all he sent back was a bunch of personal attacks on my intelligence. That says alot about a person when they cant calmly debate a difference of opinion without resorting to such tactics. Someone with slam, ben?, needs to have a talk with this dude. Its a bad look to have one of slams writers constantly attacking commentators for the mildest things. Crawford strikes me as a condesending douchebag who loves to talk sh#t when theres no chance of him suffering consequences, but at the first sign of actual trouble, he goes running with his tail tucked. But its ok, allenp will be taking his spot soon.

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    @total scrotal: Your blog, or whatever it is is absolutely hilarious, especially that bit about the cat trap. Oh, and the Killverado too. I’ll give you credit, real or completely made up, it’s quite funny. But from one a-hole to another, having an “intelligent” basketball debate is clearly not where you excel. Stick to what you know best. With that said, I think we’re done here.

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    @total scrotal: For the record, I’ve been personally attacked more times than I can count on this site. It is what it is. Some people like me, some don’t, and the feeling is certainly mutual on my end. Man up…stop being so sensitive. Remember, you said this piece was another “fail” by me. So don’t act like this so-called “attack” just came out of the blue. You have selective amnesia, poor widdle thing. I’m sorry if I hurt your widdle feelings too…

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    BTW – I go back and forth with you guys for fun. If you can’t take it, stay away from the comments section of my work.

  • http://www.dontevenreply.com total scrotal implosion

    Yea I said fail. But thats it. You should try to hold fire for a deserving target. You didnt hurt my feelings, its just a bad look for you and slam to being going off on anybody for the smallest ish. Ive seen you and that “lawyer” in miami go at it, funny stuff …. The link isnt mine and it is real. Buy the book, its great

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    @total scrotal: Listen man, I take my stuff seriously, OK? Fail, to you may be “small ish,” but this Top 50 is a serious body of work for all of the writers involved. It’s a reflection of the high quality that people come to expect of SLAM and its writers. If you don’t agree with the piece, that’s fine, but do so respectfully and have the decency to understand that I didn’t just write this up in 5-minutes like a lot of people seem to think. It’s very easy for you guys to quickly bash something while having little to no understanding of the writing process (and in some cases, zero ability to even do better) and the amount of time that goes into it. No, I don’t crank out excellent pieces 100% of the time, I know that. But I also know that not everything I write is complete crap. If that were the case I wouldn’t be here or had an actual byline in the mag. It’s usually the ones who I know don’t like me that like to go in so if I feel like it, I’ll go right back at them just off GP. But if that’s not you, then don’t behave like a lot of these cats who like to go at writers for attention because I’m not that dude and in an a-hole contest, I’m going to win every single time. Cool?

  • http://twitter.com/soulonice6 Kenny

    Dope piece, mane.

  • http://www.dontevenreply.com total scrotal implosion

    Damn man I wasnt trying to insult your profession, just disagree about your opinion of noah. If you always react that strongly to a differing opinion that doesnt attack you or your ability to do your work, then you just need to grow thicker skin and not go off on people for miniscule things…….. And im not interested in your hole contest

  • rico

    I was one of the few that isnt too hot o Melo. Id reluctantly take him for jj/taj and picks only because I like Taj’s game a lot. But when they try to include Noah in the mix Helllllllllll no. Like the article says for what Noah brings that is hard to find. I was ecastatic when we drafted him and there were all the Naysayers. Im glad he proved them all wrong. Love Noah

  • Robert Womack

    lol, I could tell, you are taking this to the heart lol, but still no matter what, your bulls are a 2nd round exit. and No just Noah is overrated

  • Norm C

    Great job Bryan. The haters will hate. They’ve hated Noah since college, but the kid doesn’t let that affect him. He won back-to-back national titles as a college player. Not easy to do in these challenging times of the college game. He put in three years as a college player when he could have entered the NBA after his first NCAA title. He’s matured and he’s a winner. The people who know special players, people like Phil Jackson, love him, so who cares about those who hate him.
    As for Al Horford, Noah is showing who was the real BIG MAN ON CAMPUS during Florida’s tremendous title-winning years.
    Bulls fans should always be thankful to John Paxson for spotting a winner and taking him when some of them were dreaming of Spencer Hawes at #9.

  • http://dsfjklf.com Jukai

    The irony is, people are bashing Crawford over this article.
    Crawford didn’t GET to pick number 43. It was an average of what all the SLAM writers thought given the criteria presented to them (if you’re wondering, this is way better than the original way the top-50 was [-, which, from what I can tell, was made by manatees grabbing colored balls w/ players names on them and bringing them to Lang). Crawford likes Noah and presented why the ranking makes sense. He didn’t demand Noah be 43. Blame all the writers and editors.
    What’s funny is, Crawford’s articles are normally opinionatedly awful and should garner the same reaction this is getting. Funny world.

  • X

    I’m guessing the other 4 centers in this list are Yao, Bynum, Bogut and Howard?

  • Lazarus

    owww better than horford. big call.

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    “Opiniatedly awful”? I don’t even know what that means. A lot of you dudes aren’t even “qualified” to have a basketball conversation or a comment on journalism in general. Silly me for even entertaining you. Moving forward, I will no longer acknowledge the existence of the following commenters aka The Village Idiots: Total scrotal implosion, Jukai, T-Money, wottytwo, and JTaylor 21. You guys are annoying and have now been blacklisted on my end. I’d much rather have conversations with rational people who actually “know” basketball.

  • logues

    if this was top 50 ugliest players in the NBA, he would def be number 1

  • JTaylor21

    @BCraw, it’s funny how you tell TSI to stop being sensitive then turnaround and B*TCH about how tsi, jukai, t-money, wottytwo and I are annoying and will be blacklisted, talk about that time of the month. You need to start growing some gonads and start being so quick to catch feelings when someone doesn’t agree with your article, damn did you just win the Pulitzer award.

  • JTaylor21

    ^start=stop

  • http://www.slamonline.com Eboy

    I’ve got to be honest, I hate Noah, (HE IS NOT EVEN A NIPPLE RING ON DENNIS RODMAN) and I thought Bryan wrote a really good piece about a semi-controversial player, but the comments were a 1000 times more entertaining. I just got around to reading all of it now and damn, I’m still laughing at some of this sh*t! Bryan, you let these cats get to you bro. I know you say you don’t mind going toe to toe, but still, it’s kind of funny! I like your honesty, though!

  • http://Slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    Eboy, those dudes are idiots and it’s really frustrating sometimes that they try and come off as experts while having no qualifications whatsoever other than meaningless comments that they use as their forum. You and I have had our disagreements, but at the same time you’ve actually written an “article” so that said, I consider you a peer. These dudes are beneath me and from now on, I’ll truly give them their proper respect. They’ll be ignored.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Eboy

    We’ve only really disagreed about your feelings about Lebron. Otherwise, I kind of feel you on most everything else. Well…..the whole zone/hand check think was kind of funny too, but that’s old news now.

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    Eboy, I guess my point is that if someone tried to tell you about your profession without having any experience in that area of their own, it gets annoying. And I don’t always get upset when people disagree, but when you say dumb things such as John Stockton had better handles than God Shammgod, why should I even talk to you?

  • T-Money

    I’m actually not sure who I’m hating against here since I gave Noah his props and didn’t comment on the article itself. Guilty of disagreeing with a SLAM writer on whether Jo Noah should be compared to Rodman? I can live with that. However, as others pointed out, you can’t ask people to stop catching feelings then turn around and catch feelings. You’re everyone’s peer as soon as you start commenting. If you really feel that this is beneath you, do like Khalid and don’t comment at all.

  • JTaylor21

    @BCraw, damn you’re DUMB if you think that a cat who plays F*CKING streetball and is guarded by non-defensive suckers is a better ballhandler than a dude who was guarded by NBA defenders for 20 years. What makes you think that you know more than anyone else just because you write for a magazine, RIDDLE ME THAT.

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    As you can see Eboy, these dudes will be crying for my attention now that I’m no longer addresing them anymore…it’s funny how things work sometimes.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Eboy

    I will refrain from entering the arena, B.

  • JTaylor21

    You a** didn’t address me but was talking about me in your last comment, way to throw rocks and hide your hand huh.

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    No problem, E. The arena is closed anyway.

  • The Philosopher

    Peace is not only better than war, but infinitely more arduous.
    (George Bernard Shaw)

  • vtrobot

    @ tavoris: yes, noah is like camby. except not as strong offensively or defensively. and his shot is actually mechanically WORSE than MARCUS’. they are both tall.

  • http://www.dontevenreply.com total scrotal implosion

    Wow crawford is really butthurt. All I did was disagree about noah. I said nothing about his occupation or ability to do it. Fabricating insults at yourself is kinda weird. I dont know or care what these other dudes said but youre really taking this personal. Just over me saying you overstate noahs ability. I dont care about your attention or whatever. It is funny though, you must have been to the beach recently and forgot to clean your clam

  • http://slamonline.com Bryan Crawford

    Well whaddaya know…Scottie Pippen came out and said that he wouldn’t trade Joakim for Melo and guess what? He also called him a “Poor man’s Dennis Rodman.” But I guess he doesn’t know what he’s talking about either.

  • http://www.dontevenreply.com total scrotal implosion

    It couldnt be hometown bias overstating a player could it? Naaaaaaaah

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