Wednesday, June 10th, 2009 at 1:00 pm  |  57 responses

They’re Ready for the Title Parade in L.A.

by Marcel Mutoni

I need to make a confession: I’m not a very big fan of Laker fans. Love the team; its supporters…not so much. There’s too much entitlement within the group, which I suppose can partially be blamed on 14 team titles and more than twice as many Finals appearances.

Case in point, this bit of lunacy. Courtesy of Real GM:

In an e-mail to the downtown community Tuesday, LAPD Capt. Blake Chow said that a Lakers victory parade could happen as soon as Monday, should the team sweep the Orlando Magic in four games.

If the series takes longer to clinch the title, the parade could be held Wednesday, June 17th (if they win in five games); Friday the 19th (in six games) or Monday the 22nd (if it takes the full seven games).

Chow doesn’t have a contingency plan if Orlando wins the Finals.”

Well, isn’t that just wonderful?

Walking around L.A. yesterday, all people were talking about is where they would be when (not if) the Lakers win the ‘chip this year.

Just remember Laker fans: the Karma Gods don’t usually respond too well to these types of things.

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  • Andrew

    Haha motivation d12has been waiting for.

  • JB

    Motivation can’t provide him with any form of an offensive game outside a dunk, though.

  • Jackie Moon

    So … Friday the 19th, then?

  • http://slamonline.com/ Ryne Nelson

    Parades are huge events that must be planned early. I’m sure the Magic are doing the same.

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Cheryl

    This is eerily familiar to the Mavericks/Heat scenario.

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Cheryl

    Well, Mark cuban went on Letterman after going up 2-0 against the Heat. How’d that turn out?

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Cheryl

    Well, Mark cuban went on Letterman after going up 2-0 against the Heat, talking parade. How’d that turn out?

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ TADOne

    Apparently from that first paragraph, me and Marcel have something in common.

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Cheryl

    i didn’t type the above. What, is this the twilight zone or what? Weird…

  • wilford brimley

    come on this is a non-story. anyone who thinks this is motivation for the magic must assume that the magic were too stupid to realize that this is what always happens. Cities always plan parades in advance because it’s a logistical mess.

    I know it’s supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, but it’s just not funny anymore from a sarcastic perspective. Those who take this stuff seriously are idiots for thinking that correlation is causation.

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ TADOne

    Since Cheryl and Eboy now both have imposters, i’m guessing i’ll be next.

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Eboy

    Can I just say that I was the one that posted the Mavs/Heat comment and I just noticed that Cheryl’s info was in my comment box. Ryne, get your IT people on this sh*t bro. It pretty wild.

  • http://slamonline.com/ Ryne Nelson

    We are. I think Anton had an “impostor” as well, yeah?

  • http://nationofmillions.ca ciolkstar

    Of course they are.

  • http://double-technical.blogspot.com Zee!

    Better sooner than later…

  • Jackie Moon

    That’s like getting mad at a team for having streamers and confetti in the rafters in case of a win.

  • http://sjkldf.com Jukai

    I also had an imposter, but the imposter’s name was ‘JukaiSux’ and he pretended to be me, so I don’t think it was a database error.

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Cheryl

    mystery solved.

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Cheryl

    ^that was me.

  • http://slamonline.com/ Ryne Nelson

    Cheryl, sorry this is happening. We’re having the same trouble at the Dome if its any consolation. BET had a bad impostor during yesterday’s live blog, so you can bet (no pun intended!) we’re on it.

  • truthteller

    That’s funny ’cause I saw another imposter it said, ‘Jukai_loves_sausages’! You must be a popular guy!

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Eboy

    I think “Jukai Loves Sausages” would be a better screename for the real one. Do it Jukes!!!!

  • chazz michael michaels

    lets do a 69

  • chazz michael michaels

    lets do a 69

  • http://sjkldf.com Jukai_Loves_Sausages

    I’d never demean myself like that, Eboy, I respect myself too much

  • Zoran

    I really, really hope Magic crush the living sh*t out of Lakers in new few games.

  • The D Train

    I had posted a similar rant in another thread, but the post crashed and deleted. Small summation: After spending Game 2 at the sports book in MGM watching a close, hard-fought game, I’m of the opinion that Kobe is perfect for Laker fans and they are perfect for Kobe. The sense of entitlement from all of them makes me sick. Trying to watch a game and appreciate it for what it is when you have a giant casino full of dudes riding on a giant non-existent golden Kobe phallus.

  • The D Train

    (cont from last) is quite difficult, and makes it much less enjoyable.

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com/ RV

    Ryne is correct, we’re already planning our parade here in Houston for next year

  • http://Slamonline TADOne

    HAHAHA its time to rule Slam!!

  • Franko

    I love ” the Karma Gods ” part. Wow… nice words. deep.

  • http://www.hibachi20.blogspot.com BETCATS

    i already planned the Bobcats (who swept the Lakers) more lavish parade on the same days to assure the Lakers will be outshined. IF you ever seen a Rich Boy video circa 2006, it will look something like that.

  • http://www.hibachi20.blogspot.com BETCATS

    im waiting to get Ryne’s info. That will be fun. You will all be banned.

  • Marco

    please just don’t buy purple-gold balloons. remember 1969?

  • http://slamonline.com Parabola

    Yet another reason to hate Laker fans. Nothing but self-entitled pompous asses imo

  • http://www.alllooksame.com Tarzan Cooper


  • http://www.slamonline.com Blinguo

    lick nutz

  • http://Nicekicks.com MeloMan22

    cosign everyone who says Kobe and Lakers fans are one in the same. GAWD i hate them

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    LA fans (from LA; there are some cool ones outside of LA) are always like this. What else do you expect from a bunch of Orange County, fake, spoiled, private high school going people?

  • http://www.slamonline.com melvin ely

    Hey remember when Lebron started jawing at the Magic that they were all witnesses? Or when Mo thought he was such hot sh!t and began guaranteeing wins? How did all that turn out again?

  • http://phoenixsunsrising.blogspot.com/ Hersey

    This is a non-story but I remember Bill Belichick using the Eagles’ parade info in his pregame speech before Superbowl 39. Anything you can use to fire up your players- try it. Tell them the Lakers are gonna bomb Epcot Center and eat their children as part of their celebration.

  • http://www.ballislife.com Arek

    I can’t wait!!! Ima be right there representin

  • http://slamonline.com Austin

    Well only the smart people realize that this is the Lakers year. I’m already ready to celebrate when they win too.

  • http://slamonline.com Austin

    and that i remember what happened with the mavericks. that won’t happen to LA. The Lakers are way better then those mavericks were.

  • http://sportzin.com Joey E.

    lol every team does this. The WWE/Nuggets thing proved how you can’t just do things on the fly. You have to be prepared ahead of time. LA has such a huge population this stuff has to be planned ahead of time. Quit being haters. I bet the Orlando Police are doing the same. And don’t put this on the Lakers, it’s the LAPD, not the Lakers

  • BBAller

    I don’t like the lakers and hope the magic win, but is it arrogance for the LAPD to arrange the appropriate measures for a possible(probable) parade where thousands of people may attend OR is it common sense?I mean, didn’t L.A have a riot after they won back in 2000, i’m still wondering what they would of done if they lost.
    L.A in six, unfortunately

  • George B

    planning starts early. if orlando authorities are not doing the same, they will have a hard time if the magic win.

  • Oli

    i hope they hired mark madsen and his awesome dancing skills!

  • flashuk

    yeah remember how belichick fired up the pats. lets see if stan van g can motivate like that.

  • http://www.slamonline.com wayno

    SVG motivates by having the highest colesterol in the country…the guy constantly looks like he is going to have a heart attack.

  • http://www.woah.com nate the great

    yeah, i think the magic are waiting after a game 2 win before they start planning anything.

    “I need to make a confession: I’m not a very big fan of Laker fans.”
    that is gold, cause neither am i.
    great post.

  • niQ

    Here’s my take. If the Lakers win the next game, it’s over. If Orlando wins the next game, this could go to game 7.

  • dave in hillsboro

    Why would the LAPD have a contingency plan for the Magic winning? Are the Magic going to hold their parade in LA? No, so stop being so thick.

    During the three-peat years, Lakers fans got a little out of control after a couple of those championship victories. During the last two Finals losses (2004 and 2008), things were relatively calm.

    Can you blame the LAPD for wanting to be on top of what could potentially be a disastrous situation? They’re just preparing for any conceivable scenario which could affect the city–not presuming anything. You’re reading too much into this if you think otherwise.

    If the city of Orlando is not preparing for a potential parade, then that says more about their city’s lack of faith and lack of preparation than it says about the LAPD–who are no friends of mine, mind you.

    Nice non-story, by the way. How much do you get paid for this? I could use a gig like that.

  • J Dizzle

    Teddy-the-bear said:
    “LA fans (from LA; there are some cool ones outside of LA) are always like this. What else do you expect from a bunch of Orange County, fake, spoiled, private high school going people?” Is there something wrong with you? Because there is something wrong with your logic… LA is not in Orange County (Los Angeles County is where LA is, can you believe that?) And if you think the majority of Southern California students go to private schools, you are seriously mistaken. To call a whole city/county/whatever you were thinking fake and spoiled is a very close-minded thought. I’m not surprised, given you associate an L.A. team with Orange County. I think you’re just jealous you don’t live in Cali :)

  • http://www.slamonline.com wayno

    Co-sign Dizzle. I actually live in the O.C. but I work for EVERYTHING I’ve got. I’m not rich, spoiled, and I didn’t go to private school. And yeah, Teddy needs to at least study up on that geography before he goes disrespectin like that…what a tool. I agree, it’s jealousy.

  • skywalker

    I would say most real laker fans aren’t rich white kids from the o.c. , most the real fans cant even afford to go to these games , it’s all us mexicans and black dudes!! watching at home or at a bar!

  • rand33p

    rich white kids are still people !