Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006 at 10:55 am  |  11 responses

I can’t feel my FACE!!!

My morning was the exact opposite of sitting around and watching basketball.

By Sam Rubenstein

needleI got up early this morning, but not to watch FIBA basketball. That would have been a lot more fun. I was at the dentist, and the novocaine still has not worn off. I am drooling all over myself as I type this. If there is anything in life I fear, it is the dentist. I think of really weird stuff while I’m having work done. For example, today as he had a needle jammed into my upper gum, I started to think “What if there’s an earthquake and the needle snaps in half? Think happy thoughts! Think happy thoughts! Think happy thoughts!” I’ve got more metal in my mouth than any rapper or Stephen Jackson, and none of it is by choice. I’ve had teeth pulled, cavaties filled, root canals, wisdom teeth blown up four at a time… I HATE the dentist. I remember the days before they used a Qtip with whatever that stuff is on it to numb you before injecting. I’ve also been told that my grandma would refuse novocaine because she thought it was a waste of time. Damn, I’m soft.
This post was 100% basketball-free, so I guess I could mention that my dentist was evicted from his office because of real estate mogul Magic Johnson. He spent half the time trying to find where he put his stuff. That made me kind of nervous. It’s all your fault Magic. Also, happy birthday Kobe!

I didn’t watch the Mets game last night, but I heard about what happened. I have my Beltran t-shirt on right now. And I cried a tear of joy when I found out that a fellow member of TCP, Shawn Green, is officially coming to the city.

In other completely non-basketball news, tonight we’re celebrating my parents 43rd Anniversary. Happy Anniversary! This celebration will take place near their childhood home, in a magical land which I have not been to other than Yankee games or my Freshman year of high school called “The Bronx.” Dialogue of the day goes to the following conversation:

ME: So, I hear we’re going to Little Italy in the Bronx for dinner. There’s a little Italy in the Bronx?

My DAD: (Beaming with pride) Yeah, when I was a kid there was a guy killed in a barbershop there and everything!

Should be a fun night. Alright, back to work.

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  • http://www.slamonline.com Marcel Mutoni

    stay up, and try not to drool on the keyboard man.

  • http://slamonline.com Lang Whitaker

    So I guess Mel Gibson won’t be showing up at Shea anytime soon.

  • Andrew

    Suck it up Sam. I’ve had more than my fair share of dental work in my lifetime. I have had a total of 13 teeth pulled, 9 of which were done all at once. They had to put me under and my gums were bleeding for 3 days straight. But it was alright cuz they gave me vicoden for a week. And I’m in braces right now, the first day getting them was hell on earth.

  • Drew

    never had braces, have perfectly straight teeth, only a few minor cavities.

  • http://slamonline.com Sam Rubenstein

    Andrew, your history is worse than mine. The root canal was probably the worst one for me.

  • puerto rican bill walton

    mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, start brushing your teeth?


    i think i have to agree with carlos walton

  • http://slamonline.com Sam Rubenstein

    Wait, you’re supposed to brush your teeth? Why?

  • simon

    hey Sam, keep yo head up man, i’ve had a ton of dental done this past year so i know what your goin through.

  • Kevin

    you ever heard of cleft lip sam?
    but i still feel sorry for you. not everybody needs to have bone grafts and headgear and everything. keep your head up.

  • http://slamonline.com Sam Rubenstein

    Kevin, if you had surgery to fix a cleft lip, then I feel your pain. I had the same thing done and it was hell on earth.