Originally published in SLAM 48

Blah blah blah blah Vinsanity blah blah blah Nike Shox blah blah. Blah blah alley-oop windmill blah blah blah third quarter blah blah #@!#!!! blah blah Rucker Park. Blah blah blah blah Freddy Weis blah blah blah blah blah blah, na’ mean?

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Raptors blah blah blah blah Mark Jackson blah blah blah blah blah blah exchange rate blah blah gold medal blah blah blah blah Canadian bacon. Blah blah blah Oakley blah blah blah blah Jordan blah blah blah blah All-Star blah blah blah MVP blah blah blah blah blah Human Highlight DVD blah blah. Blah blah blah SportsCenter blah blah blah blah blah “he’s on a roll” blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Plays of the Week? Blah! Blah blah blah blah blah Tracy McGrady this!

Blah blah blah blah 38 points blah blah blah ridiculous blah blah blah blah small step for Carter Kind blah blah blah. (Blah?) Blah blah No. 15 blah blah blah blah blah cover. Blah blah blah blah blah blah MVP of the whole damn League. Vince blah blah blah blah flight school blah blah blah top gun blah blah blah blah then Maverick and Goose! Blah blah blah blah blah on NBC more than Friends blah blah blah. Blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah? Blah blah blah blah got more game than a PlayStation 2 with a hundred-disc changer blah blah blah blah more hops than a closet full of kangaroos blah blah blah cliche.

Blah Michael Conley blah blah blah blah Olympic blah blah blah oxygen tank blah blah. Blah blah parachute blah 747 blah blah blah blah blah Tyra Banks! Blah blah blah blah blah blah Blue Jays in the ‘93 Series blah blah blah Mitch Williams blah blah blah.

Blah blah Blair Witch Project II blah blah Marv Albert brand lingerie blah blah like baseball players got steroids. Air Canada blah blah blah blah Superman blah blah blah higher than Slim Shady on payday blah blah blah. Blah blah Spud Webb blah blah blah Kenny “Sky” Walker blah blah blah Tom Chambers on Mark Jackson blah blah. Blah? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, for real.

You know what I’m sayin’?

Russ Bengtson