Yes, hell has officially frozen over and the devil is singing along to “Jesus Walks.” Well, maybe hell ain’t frozen, but I’m sure the devil is saying, “Well mama, I know I act the fool, but I’ll be gone till November I got packs to move…”

Ladies and Ghettomen, on March 17, 2006 at 12:34 a.m., ya boy saw the movie commonly referred to as “the gay cowboy movie.” Ladies and Ghettomen, I, Omar A. Mazariego a.k.a Big O a.k.a. Daddy-O a.k.a. TNTWYA saw Brokeback Mountain.
The film centers around two characters: Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger), a ranch hand roughneck who’s about to get married to the love of his life, and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) a softy with a chip on his shoulder who’s into rodeo bull riding.
They are two complete strangers who go to Brokeback Mountain looking for employment. Being that they’re the only two who show up for a job, they are hired and are to stay on Brokeback Mountain as sheepherders and protectors for a hot minute. They boss even told them he was going to “Truck them up to the jump-off.” When he said jump-off I thought to myself, “How ironic that he would call their job the jump-off.” (If you don’t understand why I found that line ironic then you need to spend more time in the hood.)
But sheepherding isn’t exactly a walk in the park and as anyone who’s ever gone camping in the woods knows, the nights can get as cold as P. Diddy’s heart when it comes to his artist’s publishing rights. No mercy. I myself have never gone camping, but I’ve spent many a night on project roofs John Blazing hip-hop and R&B and damn near caught frost bite. So imagine a mountain.
So whatever whatever, one cold night in a small tent led to one heated moment of passion between the two cowboys. (I’m sure that last sentence will get my ghetto pass suspended if not revoked until a full investigation of my credibility is complete.) And let me tell you, that first and only sex scene was like a scene out of HBO’s “Oz.” Ennis did Jack in diiiiirty! And I thought Adibisi used to do his victims in. You’d think Ennis just got home from doing a 28-year bid, na’mean?
So now the two crazy kids are in love and are leading double lives, which leads to a lot of hard feelings, painful secrets and broken promises.
Okay, I ain’t even gonna front, the movie was spectacular and emotionally gripping. (Okay, my ghetto pass is going to be revoked, not suspended as I previously thought). I mean it was like a gay/cowboy version of “West Side Story,” except it wasn’t as racist and there wasn’t any dancing or singing or hot Latina women saying “I want to live in America!”
But they way they loved and constantly lied to the people around them to be with each other echoed the cries of Tony singin’ “Mariaaaaaaaa” on a Manhattan street, na’mean?
I can’t give enough props to Heath Ledger for his portrayal of a man trapped inside a closet filled with jean jackets and lingerie on hangers. Heath did the damn thing. I didn’t see Capote yet, but in my opinion, Heath deserved that Oscar. Philip Seymour Hoffman is a bird to me. Always has been, always will be. You the man, Heath!
As for Jake, he played his part pretty good as the jealous mistress man who desperately wants Heath all to himself and wants to live life as a official couple. He wasn’t on Heath’s level of acting expertise, but he did hold his own.
After their forbidden affair was a wrap, I realized what all the buzz was about and gave the movie 4.5 Gangstas.
The movie was absolutely enchanting (I’m kissing that ghetto pass goodbye). You can feel the pain and shame that these men go through just to be happy. The storyline was on point, director painted a beautiful picture and the acting was superb. This flick deserved to win every single Oscar nod it received. That’s word to everything. In my opinion this movie is something that everyone can feel cause everyone has a guilty pleasure of their own. It’s just that some are more guilty than others, na’mean?
— Omar Mazariego