Did I promise a return to a more traditional power rankings style Dirty 30? Not exactly, but I was ready to come back down to earth with this, until yesterday. Now Pat Riley is taking over the Heat, Ron Ron is putting himself on the trade block, Kobe is making his haters look stupid, LeBron is playing like the dark side of the force Kobe, the Clippers are still winning, half the league has the same record, Chris Webber went for 20 and 20… Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!
Instead of last week’s (or month’s) ranking, I’ve got pictures.
How Dirty?
That dirty.
Team
Why?
1
While Miami and Indy go through all that drama, the Pistons are laughing at them.
2
Get on the grind like clockwork. Stay on the grind like clockwork. Except when you lose to the team on Juelz’ hat. How did that happen?
3
Matt Leinhart was once the King of L.A., but that title is being passed to a fellow pretty boy. Sam Cassell.
4
He’s doing it again. Incredible. Oh, he’s also 76 of 79 from the free throw line. That’s Redick-esque.
5
15-6 looks nice in the standings, but when it comes down to crunch time they’re missing something.
6
Ron Artest. I think I’m having doubts about picking Indy to win the whole thing this year. They’re still a really good team, but now they won’t be good enough to get past Detroit.
7
The best PG in the league? Try TJ MO, the bionic combination of Mo Williams and TJ Ford. 27 points and 11 assists a night.
8
Timeline: Riley quit on them when the Heat went young. Stan took them to the second round. Roster shake-up, Shaq here. Stan took them to the East finals. Roster shake-up, Shaq and Riley running team. I wonder who pushed for Riley over Stan?
9
Rising… RISING… RISING!!!! And then smack into a brick wall. Loss to Dallas, destroyed by Indy. At least they had the weekend off to get it out of their system.
10
Sort of like Memphis, they were cruisng, then lost two tough ones to good teams. In this case, Detroit and Phoenix. Also like Memphis, one star player scoring a lot, and then balance. The scorer in J Rich, not Baron, who’s racking up assists. That’s impressive.
11
The picture to left represents LeBron’s new offensive philosophy. Not a good idea. 52 points and a loss isn’t the way to go.
12
KG’s still here. The Wolves are leading their division, and they’ve got teeth. Never understimate the survival instincts of a Timberwolf. I learned that from a preview for the movie “Eight Below” starring Paul Walker. Saw it before the Chronicles of Narnia the other night.
13
This classic photo of their ex-GM says it all. “I can’t explain.” They beat Detroit and San Antonio. Then they go on losing streaks and only beat bad teams.
14
Who’s been the best center in the NBA this year? This guy. He’s a D-POY.
15
One of Kobe’s signature plays is to blow by someone baseline, go under the basket and come up on the other side for the finish. Another is the Kobra Klutch impossible three. He did both to Dallas last night, and he was playing great before that. As good as the innocent glory days of his past, if not better.
16
Whether he’s NBA business casual approved or dressed like this, one thing hasn’t changed. Put him in an NBA uniform and Iverson is still one of the best. Don’t look now, but Philly’s won three in a row, and leading their division at .500.
17
Luol Deng’s numbers are pretty close to Eddy Curry’s from last year, and he’s a small forward. He didn’t wear uniforms like this, and the world is a better place for it. Still, the Bulls could use a low post presence that can score.
18
Pre-season I believed. After watching these Nets, I’m fading. They just don’t bring it every night like they used to. Vince is banged up already. Kidd is slowing down. I thought they’d be one of the most exciting teams. Once a week they can be, but they’ll put you to sleep half the time.
19

That’s right, they’ve already hit rock bottom, and now the Rockets are back on the way up. No other way to go, right? Getting T-Mac back might have helped. Speaking of back, he’d still better be careful with his.
20
No. I’m not getting back on board. I thought they’d dig out of the early season hole, and they sort of have. They haven’t beaten anyone good in a while, other than Milwaukee. This team is okay to watch, but I expect more from a Maloofs production. A lot more.
21
Paul Pierce and Ricky Davis are the future of the Celtics. What I mean is, they’re both playing so well, that their trade value is going up and up, and Ainge should have a much easier time moving them for more brainy youth now. Then again, they could keep them and easily win their (laugh) division.
22
They were on the move with a 4 game win streak, and then went the other way with a 4 game losing streak. Dwight Howard, monster. I wonder why they don’t try to get him more shots. Grant Hill might play this week.
23
They play a lot of high scoring games, which is cool. The Sonics are right around .500, which is better than I expected of them this year, and didn’t seem that likely after their terrible start. Bob Weiss is working his magic.
24
No surprise here, but Chris Paul is the real deal. Other than that, they’ve been collapsing in the 4th alot, David West is scoring a bunch of points, and Desmond Mason is still probably not that happy to be here.
25
It’s always the freaky, versatile D first guys that complain they’re not getting the ball enough. Kind of makes sense actually. Andrei was guilty before Ron Ron. That’s a picture of Andrei’s evil twin, Omega Red. Lots of wingspan in that family.
26
Channing Frye! Uh… he could be the ROY too. It’s fun to share. Other than that, not much going on. Seriously, can Isiah please just be the team’s offical draft picker and absolutley nothing else?
27
Hopefully they’re learning something, cause they sure aren’t winning much. And that Phoenix game… yikes. The combo of injuries and youth could turn them into what last year’s Hornets were.
28
Not only did they win their showdown with the Hawks in the game of the century, but they followed that up by beating the Nets in jerz, and even won another game after that. Sure it was against Charlotte, but be proud. You’re out of the basement.
29
They got off to a half-decent start this year, but now the Bobcats are playing like an expansion team. They were even getting a rep as a hard playing defensive team. And now 7 straight Ls. 1-11 on the road. Can’t the NBA just combine them with the Hornets? Sometimes too much expansion is a bad thing.
30
The Hawks beat the Spurs. It’s that kind of thing that makes ranking teams so frustrating. They beat a team that could be #1 in the game, and they still deserve nothing but the bottom. How do these things happen?
By Sam Rubenstein