Ban College Coaches from the Junior Highs!!!

by May 23, 2008

This story on the Minnesota Star-Tribune website reminds me of, what I consider, one of the greatest Trash Talk letters to ever make it into the pages of SLAM magazine.

Dear SLAM,

Enjoy: Thank you for coming. My name is Billy Dollar and I am a fourth grader. I’m having this press conference to announce my basketball future. After talking about it with my pals Tiny and Slick, I have decided to give up my eligibility for the rest of elementary school, junior high and whatever comes after that so I can enter the NBA draft. This was a tough decision, but my parents have sacrificed so much in my nine years, and it’s time to give something back.

I wouldn’t be here today with the inspiration of Mr. Kobe Bryant. I would also like to thank Mr. Lapis from Villanova for offering Daddy that assistant job and Tark at Fresno for sending the Power Rangers even though they are so last year. Anyhow, thanks for coming, and stay in your seat-my little brother Kenny, who is in kindergarten, will announce his plans…as soon as he wakes up from quiet time. – LARS, Wisconsin.